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Was I rude and disrespectful?

(192 Posts)
MellowMelly Thu 15-Mar-18 08:49:05

This is my first time doing this so please be patient with mesmile
I live at home with my 15 year old daughter and my partner lives in his own place. I alternate my time between both of them every other evening. On the days/evenings that I’m not with him he will call me up to 5 times for a chat and he will text message me too.
He called me the other day for the third time in one morning and whilst I was on the phone to him my daughter needed some help so I asked him to hold on briefly and apologised while I helped her. She very rarely interrupts so I saw no problem in this as I speak to him so much each day anyway!
Well apparently this was not ok! When I saw him the other evening he went on a rant and said that when I did this I was rude and disrespectful to him and now he is saying that when I stay over at his, that she shouldn’t call me when I’m with him unless it’s a dire emergency as it’s ‘our time’ together and she interrupts this BUT it’s ok for him to call me when I’m spending time with her?
Was I rude and disrespectful?

endofacentury Thu 15-Mar-18 08:51:03

Do you really have to ask this? Prioritise your daughter. She needs you!

scurryfunge Thu 15-Mar-18 08:51:10

No, it sounds like you have another child.

SparklyMagpie Thu 15-Mar-18 08:51:27

No! But you need to sling him out of your life on his arse

Nobody let alone this pratt would be telling me when my child could contact me or me contact them, fuck that

How long have you been with him?

Get rid !

SparklyMagpie Thu 15-Mar-18 08:52:40

Also he rang you 3 times in one morning and is constantly ringing or texting you and you see him every other night? Controlling much?

Red flags

martellandginger Thu 15-Mar-18 08:52:44

phew lucky you live in separate houses.

Okaynowimconfused Thu 15-Mar-18 08:52:48

Blimey talk about double standards. No, you know you wasn't rude and that he is clearly being a pathetic knob.

Figgygal Thu 15-Mar-18 08:53:35

Wow does he have any relationship with your daughter at all? Why keep it so separate?

Saying that I'd dump his ass he can't treat you like your daughter doesn't exist that's not hOw grown ups behave

Iloveacurry Thu 15-Mar-18 08:53:55

So one rule for him and another rule for your daughter? Also does he really need call you 3 times in a morning? Sounds very unnecessary to me.

ifcatscouldtalk Thu 15-Mar-18 08:55:23

I can't believe you're questioning yourself over this.
It sounds like he needs to be with someone that has no children if that has wound him up so much.
If someone told me my daughter wasn't allowed to call me I'd tell them where to go.

TheRebel Thu 15-Mar-18 09:00:32

It sounds like he would only get worse if you continue the relationship, he can’t seriously expect you to ignore your own daughter for a boyfriend who you aren’t even serious enough to live with.

Auspiciouspanda Thu 15-Mar-18 09:01:16

Are you saying you leave your daughter on her own every other night to say with your boyfriend?

SparklyMagpie Thu 15-Mar-18 09:03:12

Auspiciouspanda I was also wondering this

WorkingItOutAsIGo Thu 15-Mar-18 09:03:21

What does your DD do when you are staying with your DP? I have a 15yo and I know he gets pretty sad if I am out more than a couple of nights per week: and I always come home to him. But maybe she is with another relation so it’s different for her?

Sarahjconnor Thu 15-Mar-18 09:04:04

Utterly pathetic.

AllTheGoodOnesAreUnavailable Thu 15-Mar-18 09:04:27

What a nasty man.


TwitterQueen1 Thu 15-Mar-18 09:05:55

I simply couldn't stand someone ringing up to 5 times in one night. How needy and unnecessary.

And as everyone else says, thank goodness you don't live together. Your DD is your priority. Not your controlling partner. How can you be with someone who won't let you talk to your DD when you want to? Please get rid of him.

PositivelyPERF Thu 15-Mar-18 09:07:24

Your poor daughter. She must feel like such an inconvenience. If you don’t wise up and dump that prick you’re going to lose your daughter. She’ll leave home without a backwards look, as you’ve already got her so used to being by herself.

AliciaMayEmory Thu 15-Mar-18 09:07:58

I wouldn't have anybody telling me when I could be in contact with my child. Awful controlling behaviour on your 'D'Ps side. This would seriously make me question our future together.

feathermucker Thu 15-Mar-18 09:08:10

What does your daughter do whilst you're with your boyfriend every other night?

Bitsandbobsalot Thu 15-Mar-18 09:10:05

No you weren’t and if I were you I’d be dropping him like the heavy bag of shit he is !!!

Itwasntme99 Thu 15-Mar-18 09:16:59

Try and look at this from another angle. You are with your daughter and he is contacting you constantly, when you aren’t with your daughter he is with you constantly, when your DD leaves Home without a backwards glance, he will be with you constantly, he will start telling you what to wear, when you can or can’t go out, he won’t let you see your friends. You will be with him constantly.
You see where I’m going with this? Ditch him fast, you are on a very slippery slope with this chap, concentrate on your DD and next time choose someone who doesn’t want to own you, even though he probably tells you that it’s just cos he loves you so much.
You can and will find someone better

VanGoghsLeftEar Thu 15-Mar-18 09:23:34

Your daughter is 15 and needs you so much more than the man-child you are dating. Why spend every other evening with him? Why does he needs to contact you so much each day? That would do my head in. So tell him to do one, and concentrate on your daughter. She is your priority. She can ring you as much as she likes.

MarthasGinYard Thu 15-Mar-18 09:25:52

'On the days/evenings that I’m not with him he will call me up to 5 times for a chat'


Evelynismycatsformerspyname Thu 15-Mar-18 09:26:32


You have to ask? The man is a hypocrite and jealous of your child. He's the one who's rude and disrespectful towards you.

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