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how to cope with parental issues

(2 Posts)
user1471606777 Sun 09-Jul-17 17:19:25

Hi I am a single father of four children two teenage girls and two boys 6 & 8yrs. I am having difficulty dealing with my choice of being a single parent to my children. I made this choice 3yrs ago as I was being emotionally abused and jointly taking cannibis and drinking with my ex (the children's mother) I was also taking crack with her which I did not enjoy any of this part of my life, but I was in a cloud of pain and consumed by her life and couldn't take control or charge of my life. I finally found the strength when a social worker who was assigned to my family after my ex had a ex boyfriend who was abusing her and threatening my family because her daughter who was his child was living with us. This is a long story yes but to cut it short my ex threw me out on the streets on xmas 2012 to move in the boyfriend, and I was admitted into hospital for selfishly taking my life because I couldn't bare being without my kids. After months in hospital my ex informed me she wanted to give up her children into care which I refused and took them, but when it didn't work out for her I stupidly took her back and her unborn child who I later took financial care of and was supporting at the birth and even named the child. Yes I am stupid but was just trying to give my children a family. Now after years my son wants to see his mum and I do not mind but she now has a drug dealer as a boyfriend and my eldest son who lives with her now sells drugs. I have agreed for contact centre but she wont do that and she hasn't bothered to contact in 2yrs. I have told her to see her son no drugs no boyfriend around but she wont listen. To be honest I want to move on with my life but it break me to hear him say he wants to see his mum or his little sister. And social workers say just carry on with your life and focus on the children I have and forget but how to you erase the mother. My teenage daughter's are moving on without mention of their mother after witnessing for them selfs that their mum will never change. This is killing me and I have no friends or family literally at all to talk to, parents in school find it strange a black guy like myself is a single parent father and am a black sheep in a area where there's no single really alone and its driving me crazy, please HELP! or advice please, thank you for reading.

Youngmomkk Thu 26-Oct-17 02:03:24

Maybe you should try reaching out to a local counsellor for help, I think it's a situation which unfortunately there is no right answer, i know you posted this a while ago so I really hope you've found closure, and you and your family are healthy happy and moved on

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