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Play dates and learning to share

(6 Posts)
twinkletwinklepops Thu 18-May-17 20:42:35

Our DD is an only child and 6yrs, she's a soclal confident child and enjoys being around people. She has at least one play date a week but I notice she's really bossy and not great with sharing her toys. I guess this is part of being an only as she doesn't have to share her toys normally.
We've explained if she doesn't share her toys her friends won't want to come over for play dates etc. but I'm not sure if she understands.
Our families live abroad and she doesn't see her cousins often, so we're keen for her to develop friendships.
Does anyone have the same? Any tips with how to deal with this?

user1496230232 Sun 04-Jun-17 22:06:09

I have 1 dd and she has had this too. I wouldn't call it a problem I mean as adults we don't have to share all our stuff so why should we expect them to. What I do is I ask before someone comes round what she really doesn't want to share eg like a new toy usually. And we put it up and we play with it when they've gone home on the bargain that she shares some other toys. I keep my eyes on her like a hawk and if a arguement happens I take the toy away from both of them. Sometimes just depends on her mood on the day. Hope this helps. X

BunsBumpBlur Sun 04-Jun-17 22:09:57

I really wouldn't put it all down to being an only child. Some children just find it easier to share than others. I have one DC who always struggled with other children bothering / playing with their toys and two DCs who didn't mind at all.

Also have a friend with a son who, as a young child, hated having anyone over to visit as he couldn't stand to share anything at all (and he has a sister).

Neome Sun 04-Jun-17 22:23:36

I recently tried something with two younger children which seemed to work as a way for them to practice sharing.

I set up the room to make three sections, one each for playing alone and one for sharing. If your DD could help choose eg some puzzles/construction toy/dressing up things to play with together in the middle and a few special things each so she and her friend can do something at each side on their own if they want she would get to think about it beforehand.

I policed the playing quite actively to start with and it included ok take the shared thing into your area for a turn then your friend gets an exclusive turn in their area. The two children in my case are very fond of each other but conflict over toys was spoiling their time together. It seemed to help them both decide they didn't want me telling them to play separately - they wanted to share smile

Lymmmummy Mon 05-Jun-17 20:34:25

Agree wouldn't put this down to being an only - personally although play dates have their benefits I do think 6 is still emotionally immature and these things do happen

Personally my worst play date experiences have been with youngest children who have been a bit too indulged -but that's only my limited personal experience

squizita Wed 21-Jun-17 19:46:37

I've worked with loads of ages of kids and this isn't an "only" thing. Any number of reasons from any kid ... eg youngest does it because they're sweet baby, oldest does it because they're the boss and middle does it because they need to assert.

At 6 I would definitely expect her to be able to understand sharing though. 3 year olds, although they don't often have the capacity to properly share, understand that sharing makes their friends happy.

So definitely have the conversation - but expect to have to model the behaviour and set up scenarios and fake "let's share!" Stuff loads and loads before she does it ... knowing and being able to do it are two different sides.

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