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Managing requests for sibling

(4 Posts)
Iliketeaagain Sun 08-Jan-17 21:58:44

Hi all,

Hoping for some advice. My dd is an only, and is seemingly more likely to be an only for ever.
She's now 7 and and has asked to be a big sister for the last 4 christmases / birthdays, and gets very upset, at least every few weeks that she is the "only child she knows without a brother or sister", intensified by the fact that one of her best friends at school is no longer an only. To the point that she told me that she wouldn't need a single Christmas present if she could be a big sister instead. sad

While I don't feel it's any where near appropriate to discuss fertility with her, I have told her that I can't buy babies in the supermarket and not everyone can have a brother or sister, and she can love her younger cousins just like she would a brother or sister.
How can I help her through this? We do lots of activities with other kids, she has lots of friends but this seems to be a constant request.

Do I just ride it out for the next how ever many years until she stops asking?
Fwiw it's not through choice and I want to make sure that she doesn't feel my heartache (if yswim), while trying to manage her hopes without being blunt that she is likely to never have a sibling.

Any advice gratefully received.

CMOTDibbler Sun 08-Jan-17 22:04:45

I think you can be honest about why she doesn't/won't have a sibling tbh. My ds has always known that I'm not very good at growing babies, and that seems to have been straightforward for him to accept

Isadora2007 Sun 08-Jan-17 22:18:05

I agree she should know now that it isn't really through choice that she isn't a big sibling. She can then share her sadness with you being able to be sad too but she also won't think you're actively stopping her iyswim.
You can also empathise with her but also point out when you're doing things you wouldn't be able to do with a baby in tow so she can appreciate the benefits of being an only.

Iliketeaagain Sun 08-Jan-17 22:18:20

Thanks for the response. I'll try that the next time.

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