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Feeling a bit sad.

(10 Posts)
retainertrainer Tue 27-Dec-16 08:40:27

I'm just having a little wobble,for really want to talk about it in RL so thought I'd dump it here.

It's nothing really DS is 7. My brother and sis have had baby number 2,a beautiful little girl. My ds has never shown any interest in babies before but yesterday he wanted to hold her so he sat down and I put her on him and they just sat gazing at each other,he made her smile and gurgle and he seemed quite taken by her. He said how cute she was. It just broke my heart a bit. He'd be a lovely big brother.

It can't happen though. My health's not good (chronic disease) we've talked about it over and over and it's just not the right thing for us to have anymore and I'm fine with that,I really just sometimes you get that pang of guilt/regret/broodiness whatever that horrible feeling is. It'll be gone by tomorrow.

retainertrainer Tue 27-Dec-16 08:41:55

Gosh sorry about all the typos! Sil obviously!

Maverickismywingman Tue 27-Dec-16 08:45:00

You poor thing flowers

Whatever you need to say, then say it. But it sounds like you have a great wee DS who is going to be a great big cousin. I always wish I was closer to my cousins.

NicknameUsed Tue 27-Dec-16 08:47:30

I used to feel sad for DD that she was an only child. Due to fertility issues I only managed to produce one baby and it just didn't happen again.

She is 16 now and says she is glad she is an only child.

LuchiMangsho Tue 27-Dec-16 08:50:58

My big sister has one daughter. She tried for a second but multiple ectopics later she had to stop. My lovely niece is an only child.
My own DS is 5. We have struggled with secondary infertility and miscarriage (and I have been hospitalised with a high risk pregnancy with an uncertain outcome). DS and my niece are super close. Absolutely adore each other despite the 10+ age gap. And my niece has never really missed having a sibling, because we chatted about it once.
In my culture 'cousins' are akin to siblings and so they treat each other like siblings would. It's a lovely relationship.

retainertrainer Tue 27-Dec-16 09:02:45

I don't think he'll be able to develop a close relationship with his cousins because they live quite far away. I'm fine about all this really,I know one's right for us,we've been over and over it and I had moved on. DS has got a really full life-lots of lovely friends,he's always busy,he's not once complained about being an only child. I don't even particularly want to go through pregnancy/birth/sleepless nights again,it's hard work,it'd be even harder work going back to all that after such a big gap and I don't even know why I'm day dreaming about it because it really can't happen. Lots of people can't even have one child so I know how lucky we are and there's nothing to say DS would actually enjoy being being a big brother,it's one thing enjoying a brief cuddle with a new baby and another thing entirely when they're keeping you awake all night and slobbering all over your brand new Xbox-he'd hate that!

Still hurts though.

LuchiMangsho Tue 27-Dec-16 12:09:52

Don't underestimate the relationship. My niece lives in Scotland and we live in England. They are still close!

NobodyputsBabyinaKorma Thu 29-Dec-16 10:08:04

Agree with Luchi. My only DD has a lovely relationship with my niece and nephew despite distance and age gaps.

I have an only by choice but can understand those pangs of sadness flowers

retainertrainer Thu 29-Dec-16 13:15:23

Thank you for all your kind words. I'm feeling fine again now,it just sometimes hits you in the pit of your stomach. I think it's good to have cry,let yourself feel sad but then brush yourself off and move on again.

Ilovecaindingle Thu 29-Dec-16 13:25:48

I am an only child. I had a dog from 18 months. She died when we were both 20. She was a totally acceptable sibling!! Maybe an option?

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