Is it ok to stop at one child!(9 Posts)
Hi, just wanted to know if any other parents have one child and are stopping at one? I feel guilty and like my son is missing out (he's 4). Am I being silly?'
I'm an only child and I have two children. There are no absolute rights and wrongs; there are pros and cons of every scenario. I am very lucky that my kids get on really well...but it isn't guaranteed. At all. I'd say do what you feel is best for you and your family - and only you will knew what that is.
If you are happy with your family the way it is, then celebrate that! Why ever not?
Parents of all sizes of family need to make adjustments. With one child, be prepared to welcome other children into your home to play and stay. When you arrange childcare with bigger families, realise that you need to babysit for all 3 of their kids, or have the younger sibling on a sleepover, too, when it is reciprocal childcare.
You do miss out on kids entertaining each other - however you also avoid the endless, endless tedious hours of sibling bickering and competitive attention seeking that two or more kids can indulge in.
However many kids you have, just support them to grow up confident, happy, independent, loving and kind. It can happen in any sized family.
I'm an only child. I never felt like I missed out, I had cousins who were close in age and we always played together. I had my friends. My DM and I were really close when I was growing up because it was just the two of us.
My DS is also an only child (3y5mo). I have no plan to have any more, I'm single and probably will be for a long time. My reasons for having one child being - I hated pregnancy, I had a horrible labour, now he is older I can get ahead at work without having to go off for maternity leave again, I can focus all my attention on my DS, money will go further, I only need 2 bedrooms. This is my personal choice.
It's your decision whether you have one child or ten. But don't ever have another child just because you think your DC might be missing out - if you have another have it because you want to. Your DS will be fine, I was.
Thanks for all your replies, really helpful and supportive comments xx
My DS is almost 9, and initially after he was born I thought I would want another, I had an easy pregnancy and birth.
However,I had my DS as a teenager and now I'm in my mid twenties and he is in full time school, I am establishing a career for myself and enjoying a social life when he is with his dad. I got married to my DH in the summer and we decided a few years ago that one DC is enough for us. For many reasons, we only have a 2 bedroom house, finances wouldn't accommodate for us to live the life style we have with another DC (going on holidays etc), and we are not overly bothered.
My mum was an only child and often says she felt lonely and now she is older feels like she has the burden of looking after her DM. However my DSIS and I do not get on well and I fear when my parents grow old she will also leave it up to me to look after them. So I in no way benefit from having a sibling.
Our home is an open house for his friends to come round. We often find random kids sitting in our living room, and they prefer to come here to get away from their siblings.
There are lots of benefits to having more than 1 DC but also lots to not having them too!
Our dd is 4 and we will not be having any more. I don't feel guilty about it. Having siblings can be a mixed bag (I was one of four) and I firmly believe that having another child would be bad for my mental health and for our finances. Both of which would have a bigger negative effect on dd then having a loving upbringing with lots of friends but no siblings.
Our LB is 16 months. Whilst my OH would quite like another one, we are stopping now. I didn't enjoy pregnancy, had a traumatic birth, suffered from PND and ultimately, I feel that my family is complete.
I have no plans for another. One reason, is the horrendous birth, I would never go through that again. However, I am not broody at all and I am very happy with just one child. One is hard enough
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