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Not sure about having a second child!?!?

(4 Posts)
Wonderingaboutlife Tue 18-Oct-16 21:26:00

This is my first post so I'm sorry if I do or say anything wrong!

A bit of background:
I have just turned 30 and have one ds who will be two in January. He is amazing (im not boasting honest!) since he was 2 weeks old he has slept through the night he eats well, he is very sociable and friendly chatty and well developed.

I don't know if I want to have another child as he is so brilliant I don't want to take anything away from him (time, money, love etc)

Dh does feels the same but is also concerned that being an only child may raise issues for him he thinks only children can be a bit weird (sorry no offence is meant by that)

So just wondering how other people felt about having a second child?? Am I crazy to feel like this?? When do you feel was the best age (of ur first child) to have a second child??

Any advice and experiences will be fab thank you

MyEternalSunshine Thu 20-Oct-16 14:13:43

Hi Wondering smile

I don't think you're strange at all! Everybody feels differently and at the end of the day you have to do what's right for you. Personally when my DS was nearly two DP and I agreed to try again, I remember DP wanting one for a while but as I was the one who had to go through the pregnancy and birth I took a while to come round to the idea!

It was one day at a soft play place and DS was the only one there alone (other children had friends go with them or brothers/sisters) and I remember it making me feel very sad, DS is the only child on both sides of the family and none of our friends have kids so he was alone a lot. This I feel was the reason behind us wanting siblings for him- of course we are aware of the increased financial burden of further children but I don't think children see the world that way.

Unfortunately I had two losses in a row which put a massive amount of time inbetween so I did not end up with my desired age gap of 2-3 years, but am now 7months pregnant with a DD who is due in January and it will be an almost 4year age gap- I had hoped for shorter but just feel lucky to be having another one at this point.

If you and DP chose not to have more you could always be the house that has all of your DS's friends over? grin I always pictured this when I didn't think I was going to get another LO!

Anyway it's your decision, I hope sharing my story may help in anyway? Best of luck flowers

Fortunatepiggy Thu 20-Oct-16 18:08:58

Sorry for your losses and congratulations. I am in this position now nearly 40, ds is 3.5. Dh happy with one but will have another if I would like to. No family support locally and we have struggled. Career is taking off and I can see if I go back full time when ds starts school next sept that things might get even better. Finances would be good. I am an only child and never really felt lonely or missed out but there is this now or never feeling given my age that I feel I need to act on. I spend a lot of time agonising over whether we should try for another or not! Don't have any answers I'm afraid x

Turefu Sun 23-Oct-16 20:15:37

Same here. Just turned 40, so I know I have to decide soon. DS is 4, had two miscarriages before. From one side it would be nice to have another one, from other, I don't know.

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