Summer holidays with an only child(11 Posts)
This is probably the only time of year I feel like my dd could be missing out by not having a sibling. The rest of the year we have shorter school holidays which always fly by, but the long 6 week summer holiday always seems to be the time I imagine what it would be like for her to have a sibling to play with and feel a bit sad for her.
I know siblings don't automatically get on, I was the younger sibling who my brother resented but it's a long story, my mother has narcissistic issues and she tried to engineer things that way to suit her dysfunctional needs. He never played with me and the only attention he'd give me was negative or bullying, so maybe because I was lonely I now have an idealistic image of siblings playing together in the holidays. At the moment there are friends posting daily Facebook photos of their children having fun together on days out, at the beach, in the garden etc and laughing, arms round one another or holding hands, I can't help wondering if dd is missing out.
Your daughter has you , use it as an opportunity to spend quality time together and play parks and swimming pools will have lots of other children she can play with , i love the holidays my son really comes out of his shell with the more relaxed routine
Get off Facebook! It's not reality. I've been so much happier since I came off it as I'm not comparing our family to bigger families' photos on Facebook. Remember comparison is the thief of joy!
I'm sure families with more than one child have good times in the summer holidays but may also have times when siblings are squabbling or have age gaps and children aren't interested in the same activities.
My DS has spent a lot of time this summer (we broke up 3 weeks ago in Scotland) going to various sports camps with friends and he's absolutely loved them. Or we've met up with my friends and their children or just chilled with me or grans while I'm at work. Went camping one weekend and we go away for the week to Spain to stay with friends and their child on Friday. We've also taken a friend put on day trips with us-their patents are more than happy for us to take their child away for the day!
I think a mix of activities is good and I am fortune to be able to afford to send my DS to spots camps-I probably wouldn't be able to afford it off I had more than one. I'm looking forward to him going out to play with friends when he's a bit older over the holidays.
I'm sure your daughter will be having a lovely time and she'll get to choose the activities she loves and won't need to compromise.
Apologies for typos. I'm on my phone in work trying to type quickly!
I felt the same as you OP for a long time.
But I'm happy to say that I seem to have got my act together finally- that is, I've more or less accepted that DD will be an only, I've arranged some weekly meet-ups with classmates and other friends with children (of various ages) and I'm actually just enjoying it being me and DD each day, getting up and out when we please and having nice afternoons out without any bickering or negotiating.
I guess this is my life now, so I'm embracing it. And staying off Facebook!
Hi OP just wanted to say I've been feeling very similar, holidays seem to bring out the guilt factor of "only" having one whereas during term time we are so busy i don't get time to think ! but honestly Facebook is not real life, I have friends who post similar stuff on there & then when I see them in real life they're at their wits end with sibling bickering. I think the trick is to try and be really organised with what you have planned each week, we're trying to organise a couple of play dates , a few holiday activities/clubs , crafty things, shopping / cinema day if your DD is old enough.. Embrace how brilliant it can be to have one and give them everything
Facebook is fun but then again it's always the one side of the story - the happy, filtered, framed with perfect smiles version. The hair pulling, whining, windup, yelling, too many tired hungry faces version is never photographed...or shared.
The lovely only and I have a routine of sorts for the week. We sometimes meet friends from school as we know which dates they are around - park, Picnic and home.
Some days we go to play dates.
Wednesday is cinema day if we can be bothered to catch a specific show
Rest of the time it's garden, paddling pool, outdoor art, bug hotels, slime making, frog feeding.
We also do the grocery shop, fun fair visit on the way back. IKEA:Costco:toyzrus:shopping centres:car wash: farm: teaching pool open sessions...
I guess the what-if element won't leave the mind. However I rather enjoy having time, energy, desire and resources to focus on the only in my life
I have a DD. She spends a lot of time with both parents, but she also goes to friends houses a lot during the holidays. One parent lives down the road from me and sees my 10 year old so much she's like a foster mum to her. She visits cousins and her uncles (DB and DBIL) take the girls for days out to the seaside and cinema. Being an only need not being lonely!
I could have written this!! It's my dd first school holidays (just finished reception) and he first time I've felt like this! We've had endless play dates at ours, and a holiday...but all the Facebook posts of siblings hugging and playing etc really do make me sad! she says she is having a wonderful holiday, but I do feel sad for her she mostly plays alone or with me! Xx
Ignore Facebook no one ever posts a picture of the younger child screaming cod big brother has just ripped the head off her barbie. Or big brother trying to play with his mates and little sister bugging him. With an only child they can have their mates over more easily, trips out can be catered to their interests. You can afford better trips out only paying for one. Even though I was the youngest of two who also had 2 older cousins round most of the time I used to love playing by myself some of the time. Look to the many positives of having an only
I was practically an only. I think the problem you describe is problem only for the parents. I recall my summers happy as a kid. I had lots of friends and playmates. Of course it was dull when the best friend was on some summer trip with her parents and siblings, but I suppose it would've been the same if they were onlies, too. I sometimes had the chance to invite my friends along to some trips we made with my family. I think that was possible just because I was only. I wish to do the same as I'm now a mother of an only.
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