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thinking of having an only because of body image issues

(2 Posts)
lighthouse17 Mon 09-Nov-15 10:29:50

hi I know this might sound soooo vain but I have been struggling with body image issues since I was very young so I always kept fit and always had a normal body weight. I gained soooo much weight (4 stones) with my first child and now my body doesn't look like it used to be at all. I just couldn't recover from the birth. I have loose skin and all my muscles gone. I also gained so much water weight as well as fat.
I don't have time to exercise as much as I used to as I have a very demanding toddler(she is 2) and also choose to spend the time with her instead of exercise as I work full-time. I also have lower back problems from having C-section so I don't if my body could cope with carrying another baby. Do I sacrifice my time with her and exercise instead? but I am finding even impossible to leave her on the weekend as I miss her soooo much. Am I the only one feeling like this???

My husband doesn't want another child but I am torn as I really really would like another child which I am not sure why but I am leaning towards my husband and one of the reason its my body image issues. I don't know if I could go through another weight gain and having worse body. please don't judge me as I really feel guilty feeling like this. is this a good enough reason for not having another child? anyone stopped at 1 because of body issues?

OhMakeMeOver Mon 09-Nov-15 17:20:33

I'll admit, this is a factor in my choice of not wanting another baby. But on the other hand, if I was actually THAT desperate for another baby, I would still go ahead and have another. But I'm not. My son's birth, and weeks after, wasn't the best experience for me. I associated my body with being pregnant with a baby that ended up being born in a traumatic way, so I tried to get back to "myself" straight away, i.e. stopped eating and carried on using Bio-Oil until he was about 2 etc, as well as things that would be classed as self harm. The trauma fucked my head up basically!

However, I don't think women shouldn't be allowed to say this. It's not really fair to be expected not to care about your body, is it? I think you get the impression that just because you have kids, you should put up with it. Believe it not, there are women out there who don't want to live with a prolapse! But... Live with heartache for the rest of your life because you didn't want another baby because of further damage or... live with the potential damage and have that baby you've always wanted?

If your desire to have another baby really is that great, I don't think anything will stop you (unless of course there is a medical reason)

I've not had to exercise so can't really comment on that, but is there a way you could incorporate looking after her, or playing with her, while you exercise? Have you looked up exercises after a C-Section? I don't know but there might be something you can do specifically to re-build the muscles after abdominal surgery.

Of course your body will never be the same as pre-baby, blah blah blah, but you can always improve the appearance and your self esteem by looking after it.

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