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Pain Of Wanting Another Child - Partner Set On "No!"

(5 Posts)
AbbyH Tue 07-May-13 20:53:33

Hi all,
I have a daughter about to turn 3, since she turned 1-1.5yrs I have been wanting no2. I have always longed for 2-3 children where as my partner is set on just having the 1. This is killing me inside! Ive tried to talk to him about how it makes me feel the thought if knowing I wont have anymore children but this doesnt phase him and says a simple sorry I dont want anymore Ive heard all the reasons under the sun to why we shouldnt have another. I want to go back into education and get my career on track which will be a 5 year course and a worry in that time he mind change his mind and want another (its happened before where he has said "we can try in 6 months" but then changes his mid again) in 5 years my daughter will be coming up 8 and I worry about starting again after 8 yrs! Its such a large age gap and ideally I wanted 2-3year gap. It breaks my heart & I dont know how to cope. To make matters worse when I was a teen I got caught pregnant and felt the only way to complete college was to have a T but now I forever think "what if?" Knowing I now cant have the 2-3 children I dream of. It make me break down I feel I need to speak to someone to learn to accept this and deal with my feelings. Has anyone been in a similar situation & how have you learnt to cope?x

ComeIntoTheGardenMaud Tue 07-May-13 21:39:29

I haven't been in your situation but didn't want to ignore your post.

There is no easy answer when one partner wants another child and the other doesn't. Can you overcome your partner's objections? Keep the lines of communication open.

mumbubble Sat 18-May-13 01:17:23

I brought up something similar in this thread here

greencolorpack Sat 18-May-13 01:25:35

Sorry for your loss.. Sounds like you have unresolved feelings of loss about the termination. Maybe seek counselling?

Could you get to know someone who is an only child or has an only child and see what the advantages are? Just to try and come to terms with not having two?

AbbyH Mon 20-May-13 18:22:12

Thank you for the replies. My partner is a only child & I can 100% tell it too by "his ways" he is lovely dont get me wrong but he has hi times where I just want to say "can tell your a only child". We had the chat again a couple days ago ended in me sobbing for 3 hours could barely look at him after he didnt show any concern to it hardly even spoke to be honest other than the words "no" "sorry" Its just a no go area with him. The slightest thing about another child winds him up now. If Im even 1 day late one month he freaks out and jokes things like "god i thought i would have to pack my bags for thailand" it killing me its so so hard to even think about accepting it and i fear i would end up resenting him for it x

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