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Feeling guilty...

(2 Posts)
OvenReady Tue 13-Nov-12 16:23:57

I have one child - DS, aged just 2 years old. Despite trying for another (mc in July) it isn't happening so I'm trying to move on.

Anyhoo, I'm feeling guilty that my DS doesn't have any close playmates, or regular social groups. And wondering how to go about making 'new friends', for both of us...

He DID have some, a regular group - we met several times a week - but due to issues re. bad behaviour (the mums, not just the kids!) and the poor response I got when I went thru my mc, I have recently taken us out of this social group. I no longer feel comfortable with the mums, and the kids all tend to moan and whine and aren't particularly happy or pleasant to be around (see earlier comment re. bad behaviour!). Of this group, I am the only single-child parent - the other mums have 2 or more kids.

So, this week I set up a new timetable of activities for each day (I am mostly a full time mum, altho I teach one day a week), attending play centres and other toddler groups. We (DS and I) keep busy, see family, other friends, but I am feeling guilty that he doesn't get to romp around with boys his age. He LOVES other kids, always says hello to other kids and asks kids to "play with me". He is very sociable, and I have been unable to provide him with a brother or sister playmate.

Is this situation quite common? Do other mums struggle to find regular 'comfortable' playdates? Without appearing sad or desperate, how do I approach other mums of boys this age and try to suggest our kids meet up?! I don't intend to send DS to nursery until he qualifies for the 15 hours free or thereabouts, and whilst I'm home (my choice) I want to look after him (I didn't have kids so I could dump them with someone else!). I guess it's a bit like moving to a new area and starting again. [I am grateful I have family around - but they are all adults, no other kids.]

Ultimately, is this going to adversely affect my little boy?

QueenofLouisiana Tue 13-Nov-12 19:06:25

By the time my DS was 2 I knew he would be an only child- I suppose I always pretty much knew TBH. I took him to parent and toddlers groups, particularly craft type ones so had learned about sharing, I also took him to toddler gym and swimming which helped to meet other mums and their children. It took a while, but I started by talking to other mums and perhaps going for coffee after the group.
It does take some planning and perseverance, but it has paid off. DS has some good friends from this time in his life. Just be aware that some groups will have quite a waiting list, so you may want to get his name down now- near us the beavers/ cubs have a waiting list of 18 months and some swimming lessons have more than 6 months!
The fact that you asked about this means you are already making plans for you and your DS, enjoy them!

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