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Episode 34 - The Tearoom moves to New England

(999 Posts)
beanandspud Sat 22-Sep-12 23:25:15

At this time of year New England is famous for its glorious foliage as billions of leaves change from green to a kaleidoscope of colours. The air is crisp and cool ? perfect for hiking, biking or a drive along back roads, where farm stands are piled high with crunchy apples and orange pumpkins.

Everyone is welcome. There are tea, cakes and wine aplenty so pull up a comfortable chair and join us.

The usual rule applies - no fisticuffs please!

Scout19075 Fri 18-Jan-13 22:27:07

Reflecting on today's events/hospital conversations of various sorts have realized just how much the young HCA has pissed me off. She's been there a while and was a regular one when I was doing round one. Given the clinic I'd have thought she have more of a clue. She was constantly telling me I made a cute baby (awww) and harping on about when was I going to have another, that I need to have another, that the second would be just as cute, etc., etc., etc. Well, she was there today, clearly remembered me & SB and started on again about "Ohhhh, I bet he's begging you for a brother or sister now." Um, no. "He's not? Oh, he should be." "No, he's really not. Never mentioned it. Doesn't rate babies and tends to steer clear of them." I also mentioned he's not at nursery and isn't asking to go to nursery/school just like he's not asking for a sibling and while she seemed shocked the more mature HCA said "Smart lad, he knows a good thing, being at home with his mum to himself."

Young-ish HCA is starting to drive me potty with her comments. Last year/Round One I just ignored them thinking she was young/making polite conversation/broody & cooing over BabyScout/ToddlerScout. Today she just pissed me off.

Someone tell me to get a grip!

Jacksmania Fri 18-Jan-13 23:35:11

Um, no, Scout - she needs to get a grip.

Or you need to have a work with someone about her.

I'm hanging in there. Getting my head around it, and not feeling quite as sorry for myself.

Scout19075 Sat 19-Jan-13 21:05:27

I feel so very flat tonight.

UniS, did you go to cycling club today?

I spend far too much a lot of time lurking and reading, but this evening need some encouraging words.

So sad watching Wriggle sledge grumpily down the hill on her own, with groups of happy children all around. She is post-viral, irritable and thoroughly unpleasant at times, feels that her friends don't like her any more and is very given to shouting questions such as 'Do you even want me to be alive?'

Feeling so guilty that she is on her own .... sad

Jacksmania Sat 19-Jan-13 21:39:10

Scout, why do you feel flat? Would a (((((hug))))) help?

LaBelle, I wish I knew what to say to help. sad
You have so very much on your plate all the time. I really feel for you.
(((((More Hugs)))))

Tremulous smile. Don't know what is up with me today/at the moment.

Jacksmania Sat 19-Jan-13 21:59:12

Is there more going on that just Wriggle being ill and grumpy?

No, just AP getting more and more confused and frightened, the frustration of not being able to help and saying the same thing over and over again ... I need to get out of the house at least once every day, otherwise it's all I can think of and with this snow am a bit stuck; all the nice postive things I had timetabled have been cancelled, although weather not really bad at all ... a parent at school is complaining about me and is coming to Speak To Me on Monday ... she is well known for it and will harang, quite unbalanced, although I did do something stupid, she wants to see me alone but I think my HT will sit in too. I just know that I will not know how to answer and may cry .... And now Wriggle feeling friendless and more clingy than ever (although she does actually have a couple of good (male) friends, she doesn't seem to be so good with girls and their falling in an out of friendships). All silly stuff, nothing to be done. And so many people here with real problems and I haven't even asked about them

Jacksmania Sat 19-Jan-13 22:23:30

Sweetie, if I had all that on my plate, I would be a mess. How are all those problems any less real than anything else? You matter. Your happiness matters to all of us here. I bet I'm not be only one who really wishes she could help in a real way. sad

UniS Sat 19-Jan-13 22:32:17

oh labelle. Handing you the choc box of requirement seems inadequate. You need your HT to sit in, please don;t do that meeting on your own.

Sorry that wiggle is being a grumpy boots. Girl friendships in year 2 do seem to be complicated. Glad she has some friends that are boys as well. I guess wiggle has a lot on her plate with AGP as well.

Who would like a tankard of mulled cider and some toast by the fire?

Mmmm, mulled cider .... might have v small G&T instead. blush (Although I do like mulled cider, I have had MUCH too much chocolate today and need something not sweet.)
Forgot that I have had horrid mouth/throat infection too, very painful, clearing up now ....
Hadn't really thought of Wriggle worrying about AP; sort of assumed she has grown up with her, but she will pick up worry from me, of course. Wriggle and her cats seem to be the only thing to comfort AP, so I sit them down to watch CBeebies together every day.
Definitely no meeting on my own; I am not very good at conflict and would surely cry. blush

And, Scout, why do you feel so flat?

UniS Sat 19-Jan-13 23:04:48

And G&T ( not mulled) coming up. care for some olives and interesting cheeses?

Is it possible that wiggle is noticing that other grans are not all like her's? Lots of grans do school pick up here. I have that one friend attributes her childs social eating phobia to things the child saw as granny lost faculties and ability to self feed. Bloody hard trying to work out just what is going on in a 6 year old little head tho, they do like to go off at tangents.

UniS Sat 19-Jan-13 23:07:31

Oh, bike club? no scout, I decided that with more snow over night and a hard freeze the road would be kinda icy., boy wasn't keen to go ( even tho the site we were going to had no snow yesterday ( bit south of here). We did jobs round the house and then played in the snow in garden for a bit.
Went wassailing the apple trees this evening, an orchard used by the cider club.

beanandspud Sat 19-Jan-13 23:15:34

(((hugs))) LaBelle and Scout.

I wish I had something helpful to add LaBelle. It does sound like a lot on your plate, is there any way of getting help with AP? My FIL sounds similar and has a volunteer that comes once a week and sits with him for a cuppa and whatever sport is on tv. I can't begin to imagine the (non) conversation that goes on but it gives MIL a couple of hours to herself without worrying that he will fall/burn the house down/try to have a bath etc.

Wassailing - lovely. We did it at Wriggle's school last week, complete with Epiphany cake and Epiphany money (chocolate coins). Seem to be squeezing in all religious persuasions there!
Off to bed now, to see what tomorrow brings.
Feel much better for long moan! Thank you, all! smile
::Clutches large plate of olives and interesting cheese and wanders off::

oxeye Sun 20-Jan-13 22:49:08

Hello my dears! Happy new year.
((((HUGS)))) to everyone seeming a bit gloomy and below par
scout so glad SB was great, though not surprised! But the HSC? I would directly say "I don't intend to have more children and am very happy with 1 I am afraid I am finding your comments rather rude, although I am sure you do not mean them to be" - I just get fed up after a while!

LaBelle I think Wriggle just sounds like she is in one of her phases but it hits your raw spot of feeling bad that she is an only. You know that she relishes her time and being able to do her thing. She is shy but usually happy to play. Being post christmas, post flu and with you ill and AP I am sure is enough for her to be grumpy - plus the girls in Yr 2 and Yr 3 do seem to play with emotions don't they? Oxboy is forever being bumped around by their emotional playing - it's tough learning to be social. I am sure that Wriggle is moving round your fulcrum since you are the emotional lynchpin for the family and if you are feeling poorly and worried about AP she will too. Do try to ease up on yourself and make sure have someone with you in the school meeting ....

JM are you ok? you sounded wibbly

and hello to everyone else, UniS your posts are always so wise
I am fine, but very very cold and with lots of work....

mistlethrush Mon 21-Jan-13 09:06:06

<Hugs Oxeye>

<Hugs LBD too>

LBD - I'm sure that AP does impact upon Wriggle - and if you're also stressed about AP she will also be picking up on that. MC is often awful if he's worried about something, although it sometimes takes a lot of tracking down to work out what he's worried about. And when he's like that, a sibling would not help a jot and would probably just exacerbate the situation.

Scout - there's nothing like some blunt talking to that sort of comment - get your boot in and make sure that she realises that she cannot continue and what she's been saying is unacceptable....

MC is cross today as school has not been cancelled, even though there is now enough for tobogganing (not quite enough yesterday).

beanandspud Mon 21-Jan-13 10:08:05

Good morning! brew anyone?

I think we have finally got the snow that everyone else had last week. School is still open though so just keeping fingers crossed that it stops a bit later so that I can collect Small Bean.

MT - unfortunately Small Bean is at school on Friday otherwise it would have been a great plan. Shall we see what the weather does over the next week or so? We are looking forward to it!

mistlethrush Mon 21-Jan-13 10:20:53

Bean- definitely. MT is now factoring a meeting up there with you and small bean in his 'social diary' that he holds in his head...

I think cubs will probably be cancelled this evening given the weather.

UniS Mon 21-Jan-13 20:02:29

evening all.

Can I crack open a chocolate orange or 4 for you? which is your favourite flavour.
Mines the plain choc one. Tried the popping candy white one the other year which was "interesting".

Jacksmania Tue 22-Jan-13 02:05:40

How about some virtual wine?

I'm off wine, and a lot of the other fun stuff, in RL. Putting myself on a bit of a diet. Meh [grumpy].

Jacksmania Tue 22-Jan-13 02:08:31

Oh, and may I just mention that we've been fogged in for about a week? The sun peeks through every once in a while (and at least it's not raining). but I mean fogged in. And it's frozen fog. It seems to be concentrated around the Fraser River. I've had to drive to Vancouver twice last week, and once I'm out of the Fraser Valley and over the Port Mann Bridge, magically, there's no fog.

Coming home, it's like driving into a pile of grey fleece angry.

Night driving is frightening. Serious white-knuckle material.

beanandspud Tue 22-Jan-13 08:35:41

I'll join you in virtual wine JM as we're not drinking in RL for January and have cut out all of the nice stuff cake, biscuits, sweets etc.

Can we move to somewhere warm next please?

Scout19075 Tue 22-Jan-13 12:26:55

I should diet or go to the gym or something. I need motivation, though, and will power.

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