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1st day at new job "Your child will be lonely"

(12 Posts)
maxine5 Thu 26-May-11 17:08:42

Message withdrawn

BluddyMoFo Thu 26-May-11 17:10:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

smearedinfood Thu 26-May-11 22:32:50

I was at the supermarket and this elderley woman was following me out of the supermarket saying "don't leave him lonely", was about to discuss double episotomy but didn't get around to it far to busy hightailing it.

Oakmaiden Thu 26-May-11 22:35:18

What a weird thing to say?!!

FannyNil Thu 26-May-11 22:50:11

Guess she meant he will be lonely if he stays an only child. I am an only, but very self reliant, can entertain myself and rarely feel lonely even if on my own for quite long periods. None of her business, what makes her an authority?

TIDDLYMUM Thu 26-May-11 22:54:39

what a silly comment. My DS age 12 is o.c- v v sociable and outgoing. He has cousins who he has been brought up with as close as siblings. FN is 100% correct

UniS Thu 26-May-11 22:57:36

very odd thing to say. however, new job you don;t know her well yet. Maybe shes always a bit socially inept.

Of course if you feel like responding in turn... I find myself saying things like "you are a glutton for punishment" or " what you want to do that for" or " that was careless" when colleges tell me they ( their partner) are expecting number 2.

I'm probably just as annoying as your new workmate.

ResurrectionByChocolate Thu 26-May-11 23:02:02

It was a thoughtless comment, but give her a couple more chances to show she's not hostile. Work colleagues often seem excluding to new starters.

purplefeet Fri 27-May-11 10:32:37

I've had a work colleague tell me "But you HAVE to have more than one child or he'll be lonely". Plus others tell me that I will have a spoilt child and that I must not buy him everything he wants.

FFS it's not their business and I know plenty of adults, who have siblings and still act like spoilt brats.

I have one sibling and I still get lonely, and did as a child. We lived in the middle of nowhere and couldn't visit friends or have them round.

Hard though on your first day in a new job, hope your other colleagues are nicer. Hope you can forget about this remark, though know that's easier said than done.

ComeIntoTheGardenMaud Sat 28-May-11 21:10:14

I suspect, as UniS says, she's just socially inept. If she keeps on in this vein, you could always say "and yours will be screwed up by sibling rivalry". That's probably not true, but then nor is what she said to you!

RunningMinxie Thu 02-Jun-11 22:20:57

Seriously??!! What is is about children that other people feel they have the right to pry or pass judgement? When you are married with no kids, everyone asks "when are you going to have a baby?" like a life changing event is something you should rush into or, in my case, is so blinking easy . . . NOT! Then when you have one, it's "when are you going to have another?", like it's their business.

Take a deep breath.

OK. It's very simple. People's assumptions about only children are based on research that took place in the late 19th century and has been ingrained ever since. These opinions are very outdated and completely inaccurate. I suffered from extreme loneliness when I was a kid and I have a sister and over 96 cousins!!! My family is huuuuuuge.

Just take a deep breath and think "in with love, out with anger" and then stick a pin in a bit of blue tack! Always worked for me. Then think "ignorant" and take the power back. Someone so judgmental and ignorant should not have the power to upset you.

BIG HUG TO YOU!!

Spero Thu 02-Jun-11 22:26:24

I suspect some part of her envies you. That is usually what is behind these spiteful comments. Your situation provokes an emotion in her which isn't comfortable so she pushes that discomfort out on you.

I fail to see how anyone who actually lives in this world can cling to the idea that having siblings is always 100% a fabulous thing, you will never be lonely, always have mates etc, etc. What utter bollocks.

I have two brothers, spent most of my child hood fighting them, resenting them, beating them up for going in my room and stealing my stuff. 30 years later I have a very tentative relationship with one, no relationship at all with the other.

Like any human relationship, siblings can be a source of joy and pain. I don't think any only child is doomed to loneliness just as I don't think any group of siblings will always find support and love from one another.

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