Hello
My situation is I am in a relationship of 11 years, happy and have one son age 3. I suffered a traumatic birth and struggled with being a mum just with how it completely changes your life, it is only in the last year that I feel I am beginning to feel 'normal'.
DP and I only in passing would say 'it would be nice for DS to have a sibling' but nothing more than that and no conscious 'trying' and to be honest didnt think it would happen as told DP couldnt have children naturally so DS we thought was a miracle - and here I am 6 weeks pregnant at the age of 40.
I had a feeling I was pregnant and before I tested I had an overwhelming feeling of panic and thought hopefully this is a false alarm and we will draw a line at one child as I am happy as we are.
I have known I am pregnant for 2 weeks now, I was just getting back on my feet, looking forward to DS going to school and pushing on with my career ( currently work part time) to be able to go on holidays and just generally be comfortable and I also do not relish repeating the experience of the early baby days, birth, sleep deprivation etc and my DP works 12 hour days so I will be doing all the care myself. There are also the risks due to my age.
I went to see a well known advisory service for advice and to be honest I thought they were supposed to be impartial and whilst they listened to how I felt and my guilt at not wanting to go ahead they said they have so many people who came to see them as they regretted their decision and could never get over it, I asked about the local clinics and was told that the feedback they had that it was 'cold and like a conveyor belt' and then when I said my Dp was 100% supportive of my decision I was told that often they say that but often they do bear a grudge' so what i hoped would be a sympathetic ear didnt quite turn out like that and to be honest made me feel even more guilty.
I dont think I could cope with another baby, I struggle with one and honestly I am just happy as I am however the guilt that as a woman and a mother I could be considering a termination makes me feel like I am cold hearted.
I know no-one can make the decision apart from DP and I however I just wanted to share this with you and if you can share any advice/experiences I would love to hear from you.
Thank you x
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Sequin1 · 16/04/2011 19:25
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