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DD & classic quote of the day......

(10 Posts)
kelway Tue 28-Dec-10 21:13:02

My dd told me the other week that she was asked to stand up in class and explain what it was like being an only child (i hate that expression) and to give the other children in the class one of the good things about being an only child. GREAT i thought when dd first told me this, i thought she might have told her class about how much we (dh, dd and i) fool around, hang out, do things together (which we do) but nah, you know what she said (quote) 'i don't get lonely being an only child, i have spongebog on tv to keep me company' much for improving the image of not having any siblings. i could have died when she told me that, actually, i was silently crying whilst driving her back from swimming lessons. thing is, she is a very happy little girl who has never expressed an interest in having a sibling, she actually says she likes having us to herself. you have to laugh really

StAnne Tue 28-Dec-10 21:19:26

Aww! I bet my DS will do this to us soon. He knows I can't have any more but he would like a brother,sister or a dog! We can't have a dog yet as we don't agree with leaving a dog alone in the house. He's now count the days until I plan to do shorter hours. Which is wait for it 6 years!

GenevieveHawkings Wed 29-Dec-10 01:22:15

Don't worry - there are absolutely loads of children out there who will feel lonely for a variety of reasons in a home with siblings.

Your DD made that comment about SpongeBob because it's simply what came into her mind at the time. It should in no way be interpreted as evidence of her being lonely.

Having siblings is by no stetch of the imagination always the rose tinted experience that some people like to paint it. Speaking both as a person with a sibling, and as someone who observes very many sibling relationships, I feel it is something that is idealised beyond all reasonable proportion.

kelway Wed 29-Dec-10 18:50:55

you are right, it was the first thing that came into her head. it was funny when she told us as she is a really happy contented child and not one of those who wants a sibling, i just thought of how it sounded to all the class as they already single her out, some spitefully by sometimes teasing her for not having any brothers or sisters. i have a sister but am not close, dare i even go as far as saying that i would not have minded being an 'only' child, sounds awful but all i ever had in relation to my relationship with her was grief. do i love her? yes, i would always be there for her, we have history but do i like her? no, not at all, sad but true

crystalglasses Wed 29-Dec-10 18:58:08

My dd has never asked for a sibling but would love a dog. many of her friends are 'only' children as well so she doesn't see it as unusual.

GenevieveHawkings Wed 29-Dec-10 20:54:29

Hey Kelway, your comments reminded me of a story my mum always tells about her childhood. She is one of 4 children and she said that when she was about 9 a new girl started at her school who lived just around the corner from her. This girl was an only child and my mum says she was fascinated by her, how she always had lovely things and toys and no one to snatch them away from her and a mum who always had laods of time to give her. When she got invited there for tea for the first time, my mum told this girl's mum that she was an only child too because she wanted to be like her and envied her so much.

So you see, the grass is not always greener on the other side.

I also find it odd that your DD has encountered negative comments from other children about not having siblings. If negative comments are to be made at all, you usually find they're made by adults. My DS has several classmates who are only children and they are never treated any differently by other children who never make any reference to the fact at all.

kelway Wed 29-Dec-10 23:57:20

hi genevieve, thanks for your mesg. i live in a very suburban/family styled area where EVERYONE has more than one which i guess is why my dd appears as such a novelty. there are a few bitchy types in her class who think she is sad as she appears to be different so i guess they dig at her but she rises above it, i am the one who gets pissed off about it. there is a stereo type drilled into people that if you have one you are sad. funny though, when we go out the three of us are terribly close and have a right laugh, we are very laid back hippy type parents and not of the norm' (very straight where we live so we stand out anyway, long hair, pierced nose etc). i think alot of the mothers think i have one as i am 'posh' and 'a vegie right on type', i have been told this by one of them who has since become a very special close friend, makes me laugh really as i am not at all like that. dd is lucky though, we have alot of fun and alot of love, she is also fiercly independant but she is not a 'text book' only child ie we do not believe in child centred parenting unlike someone i know who has one, her whole world revolves around her dd, literally, she is more like her servant than mother and her dd has turned into a terribly spoilt precocious brat. her mother has a chip on her shoulder that her dd has no sibling so she spends every waking moment 'organising her dd's diary, she is only 5, constantly making arrangments for her daughter, she never seems to spend time with her just the two of them, i am not at all like that. x

GenevieveHawkings Thu 30-Dec-10 00:37:16

Kelway, I don't buy into the whole "text book only child" myth for a second. We are, however, led to believe that such children do exist and are selfish, spoilt, rude, arrogant, boastful, overindulged in every way and grow up to be adults who are incapable of interacting with other adults in a healthy and "normal" (whatever "normal" is) way.

The truth is that there are indeed children and adults like that. However, such children and adults are the by products of all sorts of family set-ups.

Generally horrible and intolerable children and adults are a feature of all societies. Some will be only children and some will not.

One thing's for sure though and that is that there is absolutely no direct correlation between being odd/dysfunctional/horrible/intolerable and being an only child.

It's far more likely to be the result of totally crap parenting and that can happen in ANY family, no matter what its shape or size.

kelway Thu 30-Dec-10 20:54:21

genevieve' - i know, i agree with you but sadly there are alot of other mothers who do not

GenevieveHawkings Fri 31-Dec-10 01:05:21

Yes Kelway, you're right but as you're no doubt aware, there are a lot of uninformed ignorant morons around too.

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