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should i be worried?PLZ HELP.

(8 Posts)
snowfallinthesahara Fri 12-Aug-05 11:40:34

ds is now nearly 10 months old and at nursery one & half days a week since he was 7 months old.
but something happened teh other that has me really panicked.
i left him with his key worker as usual and as usual he was crying when i left him...but he Always settles down in 5 mins and then proceeds to play happily, know this as i watch thru the cctv that they have in the lobby...and dont leave till he settles(ok i admit it!)
But the other day i cdnt c him on the cctv and i wondered where he was,as it was unusual.went in for a sec to take a peek...and There he was,lying in one of those donut cushio-type things on the floor,crying and crying!!!
so i asked where his key worker was,the other carer was feeding another child-COMPLETELY ignoring him and apparently she'd gone into the roomw here the other babies were sleeping,as she cdnt leave them alone!!!
ok,fair enough.BUT we are promised enuf carers for the kids,so when she knew this,cd she not hv arranged for someone else-as they manager later told me-they were Overstaffed!
i picked him up,waited till someone else came over and left crying.
i spoke to the manager as did my husband(who made his feelings VERY clear),assurances that this was an error,she spoke to the carer,etc,etc..
all he needs is FIVE mins till he settles down,does this sort of thing happen or shd i start looking elsewhere??

im absolutely terrified now.

Nightynight Fri 12-Aug-05 12:03:53

hi snowfall,

I think these sort of things do happen in every nursery. Still pretty upsetting though. You have to just keep an eye on how often it happens, and balance it against everything else about the nursery. (CCTv sounds great by the way, Ive never had that in any nursery my children have been in.)

Ive twice pulled my children out of nursery/creche care because I didnt think it was satisfactory, but to be honest, I would be surprised if they managed to rush to my children instantly they started crying on every single occasion.

moondog Fri 12-Aug-05 12:12:22

sf..upsetting as it must have been,I think it is unrealistic to expect that your child gets immediate attention every time he cries. Ican't attend to my own children every time they cry!

Are you happy with everything else?

mommie Fri 12-Aug-05 17:18:37

hi; i agree with moondog and nightynight. No nursery will ever be good enough for our children and they all make mistakes. I am constantly on the back of mine. My best friend has her dd in an excellent nursery - one of the best Ofsted rated in London - and she still complains about it. I am moving my dd shortly to a different nursery, but, to be quite frank, I think it might turn out to be worse than the one she is in. I just hope it will be better, and she will make more friends locally. (At the moment we commute together into work and I would rather she didn't have to). See how you child reacts and if you are still unhappy in a month or so, consider moving her (tho that is traumatic too)

snowfallinthesahara Fri 12-Aug-05 17:35:12

hi
actually what happened is,when i went out to watch him thru cctv immediately after i dropped him off,i cd see him lying on the cushion on his own and cd still hear crying thru the door.so Then i went in & whats hppened is,she took him from me when i left him and the Minute i walked out the door,she's left him to cry and gone off to the sleeping baby room.
what im upset about is,it only takes him Five mins to settle down.can they not hold him for 5 mins?and if she has to b somewhere else,then surely if theyre overstaffed,can she not arrange for someone else?
i definitely dont expect to rush to him everytime he cries-but he only needs a few mins to settle and isnt this just callous?

mommie Fri 12-Aug-05 17:50:07

i think if you feel this strongly and are this unhappy, you should consider changing nurseries - because if your nursery has completely lost your confidence, you will worry about your son all the time he is there - that's no good at all, for you or him or your husband.

Jimjams Fri 12-Aug-05 18:41:58

I think the main thing is that the children are safe. I have 3 kids- so the same ratio as nurseries in baby rooms I think (?). Sometimes the baby has to cry because I have to sort out one of his brothers who is doing something dangerous, or needs me to help him. The only way round this is to pay for 1:1 care really ie a nanny. This sounds like a one off- if ratios are 1:3 then this sort of thing will happen everynow and then. I would hope that they would check he was crying because he wanted to be picked up, rather than because he was hurt or stuck somewhere but I'm afraid leaving them to cry a bit will always occur where there isn't a 1:1 ratio (and no nursery has that- nor does my home).

ThePrisoner Sat 13-Aug-05 00:04:08

I don't really know enough about how nurseries operate, but I don't like the idea of a baby being left to cry at all - how long was he left for?

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