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So mad I feel physically ill - going to talk to manager tomorrow...(long rant, sorry!)

(15 Posts)
rockinghertosleep Tue 13-Oct-09 22:31:49

DDs nursery, which appeared great when she started in the baby room at 8 months has gotten progressively worse. A bit about the setup - there are 3 under 2s rooms - one for 6 weeks - 12/14 months (once they're walking they move up), then a 12/14 months - 18 months, and then an 18 months-24 months room. Then on to 2-3s and a 3-5s rooms. Well, DD was walking just after her 1 year birthday, but didn't get moved up with her peers until she was 17 months. I went in and had a discussion about this with the Asst. Manager (Manager was on holiday) and my concern that they wanted to move her to the 12-18mo room when she was 17 mos and stating that I didn't want her to have to settle in that room to have to then move rooms again in 1-2 months. I was assured that the ages were no longer applicable as due to mums taking longer maternity leave, nearly all under 2s were same age and theat the plan for DD would be to keep her w peers in that 12-18 mo room until she was 22mos and then move her directly to the 2-3 room. Which I wasn't completely happy about, but went along with.

7 weeks later I was told by one of her new teachers that she'd be settling in the 2-3 room the next week - at 18 months! I went in and complained to the Manager and voiced my concerns about the difference in age being 18 months to 3 years in one room, as well as the fact that I felt that I had been lied to by the Asst Manager. Agreed DD would stay in current room until 21 months, as room she was in was getting filled up with babies much younger.

DD started settling in the 2-3s 2 weeks ago, and I've been less than impressed. It doesn't look like ratios have been adjusted to reflect the fact that approx 6-7 children are not yet 2 (DD is the 3rd youngest). TV seems to be used way too much - apparently it's on for the duration of the 1 hour nap time as well as from 5pm onwards(though i've been there before 5 a few nights and it's already on). General mornings I'm dropping her off to 2 teachers who are holding crying tots and barely acknowledge our arrival - probably because DD doesn't kick up a fuss. Evenings it's down to 1-2 teachers with 8-9 kids watching tv - exceot DD - we don't have a tv at home and she pays no attention of them.

Tonight was the last straw. DD (21 mos) had a tummy bug over the weekend and we kept her off nursery until today. (yesterday only 1 poo.) When I dropped her off this morning, I explicitly mentioned the tummy bug and asked that they please check her nappy often just in case. Teacher agreed. When I arrived tonight - 2 teachers - both talking to a mum picking up her child. All other children on carpet watching tv, DD sitting there crying. As I rushed to her, teacher said, "Oh she got sad when toys were put away." Asked about nappies and was told that she had had loose bm BOTH times they checked (WTF?). DD was fussy on walk home. I checked her nappy and to my horror, she is red and raw with some small raised bumps all over her nappy area. She's never had a rash like this. I am actually getting tears just htinking about how it looked. I'll be taking her to gp in morning to get prescription cream, gave her ibuprofen tonight. She screamed/cried in pain, wouldn't let me wipe it at all so I swished water over her in tub. SHe must've been left for HOURS in a dirty nappy. Took a photo as evidence, I'm going to talk to manager in morning, wondering whether to formally complain.

Sorry for the super long rant - I'm just really really upset. Feeling sick.

BEAUTlFUL Tue 13-Oct-09 22:38:38

You poor thing! Can you move her? This lot sound rubbish. What are the alterative nurseries like?

How did you manage yesterday with her off nursery? Is her Dad at home, or a grandparent? Is there any way at all you could you keep her at home?

My DS2 has had that rash after diarrhoea. It was worse when I was using using cheapo Tesco nappies.

Sorry for her, and you. sad

choosyfloosy Tue 13-Oct-09 22:44:24

God that's horrible. You poor thing and your poor daughter.

I caused rashes several times for ds by trying own brand nappies, just to second Beautiful, but presumably you provide the nappies so you know what they used?

I pulled my ds out of one childcare setting in the past and I know just how you are feeling. It really sounds as if they are struggling to cope. What options do you have?

StillSquiffy Tue 13-Oct-09 22:53:09

You are being too PFB about the nappy stuff - IME any child can have it can flare up like that instantly if they have a bug of any kind (or even if just teething). You will come across as slightly unhinged if you rant about this and take in photos (even if it has never happened to your DD before). Yes I am sure that if she was at home with you or a nanny it wouldn't have happened, but I think it is a bit OTT to expect the nursery to check every 15 minutes or whatever (like you would yourself). From what I understand (my nanny worked in a nursery once), children in nurseries all get their nappies checked at certain times of the day, and always around an hour before pick-up time (simply good marketing), so you will be complaining about a nappy check in the last hour, when all the pick-ups are happening, and TBH it is very unlikely to happen in that hour, because too much is going on.

But nursery sounds a bit of a mess TBH and I have never heard of one that had a TV being on for nap times and drop offs shock - the two nurseries I have used didn't have a TV on the premises. I would run for the hills myself. Well, not run, exactly (because I don't think there is anything here that screams urgent), but I would find an alternative nursery/CM and move her.

mymotherisveryold Tue 13-Oct-09 22:59:42

Use your instinct, if you are unhappy enough with this nursery to move your dd, do it.

rockinghertosleep Tue 13-Oct-09 23:00:35

The thing is, it's meant to be one of the best around - great Care Commission reports(last inspection was May 2009), everyone else seems to love it. I feel like we're just being extraordinarily unlucky with them. Or that I'm too picky, but no, because DD is in physical pain tonight because they didn't check her. Even DH flinched when he saw her.

I supply the same Pampers Baby Dry nappies she's always had (bit pfb ish I know)- and she has never had a rash even come close to this. This one is all over - everything except around the legs/waist. And the welts...

Yesterday DH took the day off to stay with her - not a normal occurrence. I've managed to get my contract down to 4 days/week with Weds off, but there's no way to reduce it until Feb at the earliest and we're under restructure. No family nearby either. We really need my income right now, but I'm sick just thinking about sending her back. I could maybe get out of my contract in January, we'd be struggling but could maybe make it work. I have told DH that if there's any whiff of a repeat to tonight, I'm pulling her that day and we'll have to deal with the consequences.

I'm torn between wanting to pull her out now and not having anywhere to put her.

BEAUTlFUL Tue 13-Oct-09 23:07:22

Are there no other nearby nurseries? (I know you'd have to trek round to see them, then there'd be a waiting list, but even so...)

How about a childminder? I always think they'd be cosier. Or poach one of the nursery staff to be your nanny? The mums at DS1's nursery were always doing that.

My heart breaks for you.

BEAUTlFUL Tue 13-Oct-09 23:10:04

Also, at DS1's nursery, the baby room was fab but the toddler room was awful.

Do you know any local SAHMs who might, at a push, look after your DD until you find another nursery place?

Can you ring in sick tomorrow to look after your DD and try to find alternative arrangements? Then get her on the waiting list ASAP.

EightiesChick Tue 13-Oct-09 23:17:22

TV? My DS's nursery doesn't have one and I have never seen or heard of another one that does. That in itself sounds bad,and then you have her being left in her nappy. Can see why you are angry.

Word of mouth often works well for these things - can you ask friends /colleagues if they know of a good nursery? Having said that, it sounds like anything would be better than where she is now, so maybe you would be as well just to move her to wherever there is a vacancy - which could also include local childminders.

choosyfloosy Tue 13-Oct-09 23:18:40

Right, so you've got tomorrow off for a breather - great. Could you look for a nannyshare? No guarantees there either but when it works it's fantastic.

TBH the first thing I would do (and did, in something like this situation) was tell everyone I knew, in every way I could, that I was looking for alternative childcare. I found another placement within a week, though it was in the residents' association newsletter. Gumtree is always worth a try.

Any chance your dh could do five days' work in four?

atworknotworking Wed 14-Oct-09 18:05:37

There is no reason why staff should change all of the childrens nappies at the same time, children are individual they don't wee or poop to a schedule, I hate it when nurseries do a bulk change just to fit around their own daily routine and whats more it doesn't reflect ECM outcomes you should ask the manager about that!.

And why the heck does a 18month old want to watch TV, do they actually gain any benefit from it?, again sounds like it fits in for the staff.

Your DD was crying because they had put the toys away shock WHY? do they expect children to sit around not making a mess because its nearly home time. Frankly I'm appalled.

You entrust your most precious possession to be cared for, nutured and kept safe, her needs must be met individually, she should have her nappy changed when she needs it, should have a wide and varied range of activities and toys available at all times and the support and attention of the staff at all times. Find a good CM or a nursery that doesn't treat the cildren like autobots.

cookielove Sun 18-Oct-09 20:02:30

the reason a nursery changes nappies at a set time is to keep with the routine, for instance we change nappies at 10, 2 and around 5 ish we also change the childrens nappies if they are soiled or have a couple wee's in throughout the day.

If we just randomly changed nappies as and when children need it, without the specific times, we would be changing nappies all day, we would run out of time to sort out activites, sort out all the food, e.t.c also thinking about ratio, if you constantly had to look and change a nappy throughout the day, 9 times out of 10 the children go home in a dry nappy, but we can't stop them weeing.

I would love to see how you would change 12 nappies at random times during the day, and of course this would be repeated, and fit in everything else we had to do in a day

juneybean Tue 20-Oct-09 18:28:44

atnotworking I agree with you, I used to work as a supply NN in a nursery and I actually asked for it to be changed so we weren't doing it at set times.

cookielove, we weren't changing nappies all day. The KP would change their own childrens nappies, and of course if a KP was off someone would take over their KG.

cookielove Tue 20-Oct-09 19:33:50

well it works differently in my nursery, we do have kp but not in the sense as most nurserys, we stay together in one group, and the kp is only in charge of observing those children within their group, the whole of the day we spend together, i can understand if you had smaller groups seperated off it would be easier to do as and when needed, but at are nursery it works better at set times to change them.

As i also said above if a child has pooed or is particular wet (which we do check regularly) we change them as and when through out the day so we are never leaving children sitting in a poo or a soaking wet nappy just because its not 'nappy time'

atworknotworking Tue 20-Oct-09 21:30:52


I worked in a very large babyunit for a few years, this practice of changing at set times was done their as well and accepted as the way to do things, obv if a child needed changing between times then they were.

The point I was making is that this practice doesn't reflect the childs individual needs,
they should be treated individually to be treated equally. I no longer work to this system and I won't permit it in my setting, when you work with individual children and get to know them you recognise their needs and can act on this. As juneybean says you don't spend all day doing nappies, quite often I find that a couple need doing at the same time anyway, we still have plenty of time for play, structured activities and meal times are fine.

I would give it a go why don't you try if for a few days and see how easy it is I don't mean that in a stroppy way, but I found it very positive for the children and staff, it gets rid of the production line feeling grin

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