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Help - don't know if I'm being too fussy!

(15 Posts)
dodi Tue 07-Jun-05 14:02:39

My DS (13 months) started nursery this week (only doing two afternoons a week at the mo). I was very apprehensive leaving him, but he seemed fine and I waved goodbye without any tears. However, when I picked him up he looked throughly fed up and was just lying on the owners shoulder, with his dummy, which he only has when he's tired. He hadn't slept (didn't expect him to really as he needs to be cuddled/rocked off to sleep (I know, I know!) He looked like he'd been crying all afternoon and still had his dinner smeared over his face. They said he'd drank all his juice, but when I checked his bag, the beaker I'd left was still full, so the poor little mite was dying of thirst. He downed a whole cup instantly. Wasn't impressed with the dinner either, baked beans, maltesers and ice cream (not my idea of a balanced meal?!) He's used to have a two course meal with extras and I'm sure he was hungary. Anyhow, as he was so tired he fell asleep in the car and I then had a nightmare when I got home, going through his routine. He seems fine today but is it me just have too high expectactions or should I find somewhere else??? Any advice would be appreciated.

SpanishEyes Tue 07-Jun-05 14:22:28

No Dodi, Definately not too high expectations. I have worked in nuseries where they had a 2 course meal such as sheperds pie and a yoghurt for pudding and little extras such as fruit and breadsticks throughout the day. Baked beans, malteasers and ice cream........what are they playing at?!?!

At one nursery we had a little boy who used to need to be rocked to sleep in an adults arms, and this used to be done after all the others where quickly put to sleep. And to lie about him drinking all his juice - if they say that about his juice, maybe they're also complacent about changing nappies etc.

Chuffed Tue 07-Jun-05 14:23:18

I wouldn't be impressed.
yes occasionally they are still a bit grubby if it an especially messy meal. Occasionally kids don't sleep well but that isn't a balanced meal. I would go and talk to them to be honest and mention that this sort of food/behaviour wasn't what sold you on deciding on this nursery.

dodi Tue 07-Jun-05 14:31:24

Thanks both of you. I will talk to them when we go next and see how he is then, if its the same story then I'll look for somewhere else.

Cheers.

meggymoo Tue 07-Jun-05 14:33:16

Message withdrawn

zammo Tue 07-Jun-05 14:35:49

No, in my opinion you're not being too fussy dodi, not at all!. I would speak to the owner about your concerns. My 10 mth ds goes to nursery three times a week and although I am generally very happy I too have a concern about his food which I think I should maybe point out in writing (it's a baked bean thing too). In regards with the naps my nursery told me that they would do what ever it took to get the babies to sleep (ie. rocking, cuddling etc) but they found that the babies soon got in to a routine and got to sleep themselves.
I would definitely have a word with them.

dodi Tue 07-Jun-05 14:40:49

No, I wasn't too worried about his face at first, but because he fell asleep in the car, I had to wake him to wash him. If he'd been clean, I could have put him straight to bed and worried about the bath in the morning.

Thanks for the reassurance, glad I'm not being over-protective!

elliott Tue 07-Jun-05 14:45:00

DOesn't sound great, I'm afraid. Did you have a settling in period first - most good nurseries will do this, gradually increasing the time the child stays there. to start with its just an hour or so, then introducing sleep times and meals. that way they get used to the routine gently.
The meal sounds awful imo. Sorry.

dodi Tue 07-Jun-05 14:56:44

Yep, we did an hour with me, then an hour on his own, which were both fine. I think the main thing is the sleeping, he's so nosy and used to a silent room, that when the other kids are making a noise, it just wakes him up. Might need to find somewhere with a dedicated sleeping room.

saadia Tue 07-Jun-05 15:02:02

Normally I would say that you should give it a bit more time, see how he gets on and not make any decisions based just on the first week, but the juice and dinner issue sounds very dodgy to me.

Why did they say he had drunk his juice when he hadn't and was thirsty. At his age he can't be expected to tell people when he's thirsty so his carer/s should think of this, and the dinner sounds absolutely pathetic so, based on this it does sound like you should reconsider.

I wouldn't worry about the issue of the routine etc., as that should settle down as he gets used to the new timings.

beansmum Tue 07-Jun-05 15:07:43

Maybe I'm just really lucky with ds's nursery but that meal sounds awful. Ds gets a proper homecooked meal, pasta or rice or potatoes with meat and veg, something like spag bol or shepherds pie, then either yoghurt or fruit for pudding. He also gets snacks during the day, usually bread sticks or toast. He does sometimes come home with food on his clothes but his face is always clean.

I would find somewhere else, purely because of the food and the problems with the juice. Don't worry too much about his routine though, ds ddin't sleep at all when he first started nursery but he got used to it quite quickly.

dodi Tue 07-Jun-05 15:10:15

Thanks. I'm going to give it one more day and then re-evaulate!

LunarSea Tue 07-Jun-05 15:33:53

I'd say the food/drink issues and the sleep are seperate issues tbh. And at this stage I wouldn't panic until you've got some more answers rather than assumptions (I'd guess you're also possibly a little anxious at leaving him and tending to assume the worst?).

In a new environment, I'd not be too surprised if he didn't sleep the first day - either through excitement, or just being less relaxed than usual, or just it being a different place. That would come once he settled in.

The menu does sound limited - if that is normal. Is that standard, or is it just that he wasn't eating so they tried him with various things to see if there was something they could tempt him with rather than have him eat nothing?

No drinks would worry me more, and even that could be down to the strange surroundings if it had been him refusing it. Them saying he'd had a drink when he maybe hadn't is more worrying though. However it's posible they'd given him a drink, but just not from your beaker. I know our nursery wouldn't be expecting the children to be sent in with their own beaker at 1+, so it may be that as part of their general routine for all children he was given a drink with all the others, and whoever was dealing with drinks just wasn't expecting him to have his own, so didn't think to look for it/give it to him. Or perhaps he'd drunk what he had and they'd refilled your beaker?

Talk to them about these issues next time you are there, and you might just find that there are some fairly innocent explanations.

sallycinnamon Tue 07-Jun-05 15:51:09

Definitely not too fussy dodi! I think when you put them in a nursery you have to expect that the individual care is never going to match up to your own undivided attention. However what you described is well out of order. That's not a meal!! That's party food! Certainly there should be a quiet room, in dd's nursery they close the curtains and put these mats down for those that want to sleep. Any that don't go to a different room. Its really hard to leave them in the first week and I have to say that even 18 months later I still have days when its really hard, so you must air your concerns particularly about the food and drink. Its only going to get hotter this summer so regular drinks are vital (one of my bugbears with dd's nursery!). Sorry to go on but- you pay through the nose for childcare so if somethings bothering you say something and if nothings done soon go else where. Know how you feel chick

dodi Tue 07-Jun-05 16:24:34

I agree about the sleep/food being separate issues. I know he'll probably get settle with the sleep thing, but am worried about the food - will speak to them on Friday. As far as his cup/juice goes, he had a full cup when he arrived (I thought leaving something familiar with him would help, that's why he had his own instead of theirs, also he's not keen on water so thought it would be easier to leave a supply). He had drank all that was in his cup but the extra beaker in his bag (which I told them about) hadn't been touched. Hot weather coming is a real concern for me too now!

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