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How do babies sleep at nursery if they don't 'self-soothe';??

(11 Posts)
Bluegirl Tue 07-Jun-05 11:28:11

Don't know whether to put this is the sleep or going back to work or nursery section - so will try here first.....

I am going back to work full-time in less than 4 weeks and DS will only be 5 months old, my problem is he does not self-soothe for naps (usually BF to sleep or car or out in buggy or sometimes hairdryer or very very occasionally rocked!!!) - have tried pat-shush, etc etc and he just bawls (read screams) his head off. I am so worried he will not sleep all day at nursery and then will be hell at night. What do nurseries do with babies like this??? Anyone got any experience of this? Yes, I am terrible mother for failing to teach him to self-soothe - its not like I haven't tried, he just doesn't seem mature enough yet - has only ever fallen asleep alone on 3 occasions. V.worried about it . Have spoken to nursery (v.good nursery BTW so happy with that at least), they say they rock them and pat their back, rub their head etc - but am not convinced that will do the trick as it doesn't really work at home! Sooooo worried about this, if anyone has any experience I'd be really interested. Thanks

zebraZ Tue 07-Jun-05 11:31:08

I suspect short answer is you just have to let them find their own way.

My DS never settled by himself at home, but he was a star at nursery, they just put him down, tucked him in, no problems. DS2 is similar now, doesn't settle easily for me but goes down with just a bit of rocking by his dad or from childminder.

otto Tue 07-Jun-05 11:34:18

My ds started nursery full time at 6 months and we were in exactly the same situation. They used to rock him to sleep and sometimes would put him in a rocking seat, which used to do the trick. He is easier for them to get to sleep now, but they still have to spend time patting, soothing etc until he goes off.

I really did worry about this too, but I think nurseries are used to it and mine doesn't seem to think it's too much of a problem. Nowadays, 3 days out of 5, ds (who is 14 months) will fit in with the nursery sleep routine, but it can still be a problem on the other days.

compo Tue 07-Jun-05 11:34:58

My ds never gest as much sleep at nursery as he does at home. I think they put the babies in a travel cot in the room but if they don't sleep I have seen babies sleeping on the staff in the past. I think the staff are so experienced in this sort of thing they find there own way. I was more worried that ds would sleep all day and then not sleep at night but of course there is so much going on there is no chance of that

TracyK Tue 07-Jun-05 11:35:57

ds was the same - he did sleep at nursery - but for much shorter naps.
Its coming into nice weather - so I'm sure they'll be taken out in buggys for walks - just ask them to leave your ds in it if he falls asleep.
He will get so tired that he will nap eventually - but on Mondays and Fridays (when my nursery is v. quiet) they used to have the time to dedicate to patting him to sleep in a cot.
But if he doesn't sleep - it will be hell for a couple of months - but will get better as he gets older and gets more stamina.
But you never know - they are completely diff. babies at nursery - they do things for the girls much easier than they do for us - little buggers!

beansmum Tue 07-Jun-05 11:37:31

My ds never used to sleep at nursery.

He started when he was 4 months old and would go the whole day without a nap, then would sleep on the way home and have to be woken for his bath and bedtime feed. It wasn't the nursery's fault, they tried rocking him, rubbing his back, letting him just lie in the floor like he does at home, cuddling him, but he wouldn't sleep.

BUT, he was fine at nights, even after a nap in the evening he would go straight off to sleep after his last feed and slept a decent length of time. He still woke up for feeds but went straight back to sleep again.

jessicasmummy Tue 07-Jun-05 11:40:44

I was worried about Jess sleeping at nursery to start with too.

By no means does she have as much sleep at nursery as she does at home, but thats because there is so much more going on for her to nose at!

TBH i dont know how the girls get her to go to sleep at all because we put her in her cot and leave her, but i know nursery dont do that.

She went for her first full day yesterday, and slept for 1.5hrs in the morning, nothing at all in the afternoon and what a suprise when she fell asleep in the car on the 30 minute trip home. She woke up when we got home, we bathed her, gave her a bottle and that was her til 6.30 this morning.... im not complaining!

LexB Tue 07-Jun-05 21:22:03

Hi
I'm a bit surprised by what happened re sleep today for my ds at nursery. It was his first full day and he apparently didn't sleep at all! (He's just 1 year) The weird thing was that he didn't even seem tired when he got home and this is despite him being really unsettled at nursery most of the afternoon. Think he was held for a lot of the day so maybe that conserved all his energy...

I think it's hard whilst they get used to sleeping at nursery. They all sleep on mats at ds nursery and that must be weird for a baby that's used to falling asleep by himself in a cot!! I think it's right that you have to some extent let the nursery staff get on with it. They must have encountered all the potential problems before and nursery can be v. different to home.

Definitely take DS comforter with you if you have one. That may help. DS has a cuddly elephant and an identical 'stand in' in case he loses the real one. We tried to get away with sending the 'stand in Eddie' today as were worried about nursery losing the real one. Apparently DS was having none of it....so real Eddie will have to go tomorrow (really tatty and disgustingly chewed Eddie!)

PS I'm v. worried about ds not settling well at nursery but that's a different thread altogether.

Bluegirl Tue 07-Jun-05 23:11:59

Thank you all sooooo very much - maybe I will fall asleep a little easier tonight after all your lovely reassuring messages - good to know that mine isn't the only baby on the block that doesn't self-soothe (god I hate that word)

jessicasmummy Tue 07-Jun-05 23:14:09

Well done for getting a back up toy..... wish i had remebered that!

Jess has a fluffy duck for sleeps and you should have seen her face the other day when she saw it in the washing machine!!!

grumpyfrumpy Wed 08-Jun-05 12:06:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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