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Unsettled two and a half year old boy - persevere with nursery?

(6 Posts)
isa2 Thu 24-Sep-09 02:40:38

My two and a half year old son started nursery 3 days a week 3 weeks ago, and the staff say he remains quite unsettled there, though the last week has been a little bit better than the preceding ones. He says he does not want to go because "I might miss my mummy", and takes quite a lot of persuasion to get him there. During the day he's apparently OK some of the time, but quite frequently becomes tearful and repeats "I want my mummy". Nursery staff are finding this hard to cope with, though they say they feel it will probably get better (not certainly). They seem very nice and caring, and the nursery is very well liked by local parents.

Before starting nursery, he had been looked after by the same nanny since I went back to work when he was 7 months, and was settled with her. He's seemed to be developing well, and has a lot of language for his age. He enjoys playing with other children when there are one or two others to play with, but has for several months been a bit shy and withdrawn in larger groups, at least at first. He's shown a bit of terrible twos defiance, but nothing really hard to deal with.

In the past couple of weeks, since starting nursery, he's much more clingy with me than before, and can get upset when I leave the room for quite short periods. He wants me, rather than his normally very involved dad, to do things like putting him to bed and helping put his clothes on. Generally he seems quite a bit more unsettled at home than before starting.

My question is whether at this stage we should persevere with the nursery in the hope/expectation that things will get better, or start thinking about other options? Advice and experiences very much welcomed!

mummytowillow Thu 24-Sep-09 22:21:17

Oh Isa, I really feel for you, my daughter has been in nursery for three weeks now for two full days a week, she cries when I drop her off, gets tearful in the day, asks for me, BUT the nursery nurses said she is getting better.

Its early days so I would stick with it, I am but it really pulls on the heart strings doesn't it sad

thisisyesterday Thu 24-Sep-09 22:31:44

i wouldn't persevere tbh
i had similar with ds1 and we took him out. about 6 months after we took him out he started asking to go again, so we looked around and found a really lovely nursery and he was very happy there on the whole.

thisisyesterday Thu 24-Sep-09 22:33:00

do you need to have him in nursery?
that's the other thing to consider. no point making him upset if there is no need.
obviously if you work then you need to find a way round it, or consider a nanny again, bbut if not then just take him out

luckylady74 Thu 24-Sep-09 22:34:47

start thinking about other options-I may be flamed for this, but I think 2yr old boys need a single carer if that's what they're used to-if he was 3 I'd say wait, but I'm caring for a just turned 3 yr old who I started looking after 6months ago-it took him 2 days to settle with me, but far longer with the preschool he goes to 3 mornings.

isa2 Thu 08-Oct-09 06:22:28

Just to update - we've persevered with the encouragement of the nursery, and it is apparently getting quite a lot better during the day, though he still says he doesn't want to go and cries a lot when first left. He seems more settled again at home though, so I guess we'll persevere a bit longer. I hope coercing him to go to nursery doesn't set any kind of bad precedent for later attendance at school etc.....

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