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just a bad day or is it everyday?

(5 Posts)
pinkprincess1206 Fri 18-Sep-09 23:19:51

After spending ages looking for a nursery for my 13month old son, I enrolled him for 2 mornings a week . I have friends that have children there and had heard good reports.
My son was offered 3 settling in sessions. I have never had a problem with leaving him with people before (even at creches where the staff are sessional) anyway- there were a few minor things thati picked up on during the settling in sessions,(he was very upset throughout the settling sessions but i put that down to my own guilt and the fact that i am trained as a nurery nuse and a teacher, so i am well aware of what should and does happen in nurseries! On his first day i took him in time for his breakfast- he doesnt eat cereal so i took fruit for him and i sat with him. There was only 2 staff on and i counted 9 children at this point (more were arivng) one of the staff members was just stood watching and the other was talking to a parent of an older child saying that she hates working in this room and wants to return to her old room. I was sat at the table with my son, and the other children. Noone was really helping or encourageing the children to eat etc. and therwas only a few toys out for them to play with.
My son went on his own to play with the toys that were out. I waited around for one of the staff to show any interest in him so i could go... but noone did. i ended up asking someone to play with him so that i could go to work. I called when i got to work and was told he had been crying on and off. I collected him at just gone 11. when i arrived the staff were getting the children to sleep (which i appreiciate is difficult)and a different staff member from the morning was holding my son- however itwas my sons 1st day and i expected the room leader to speak with me and let me know what he ahd been up to. She didn't do this. She shouted across the room to meto say he had been upset and that he hadn't eaten much.The girl that was holding ds, got up and handed ds to me who was crying. I had to ask wher his bag, water bottle and coat was- then i was handed his 1st daily slip,the girl had torn it in half as she went to seperaed from the others! she then handed it me saying there is... slip. (she named another child) i said this is..... slip and she looked at me and sais yeah? i ahd to tell her what my childs name was and remin dher that she was just cuddling him! by this point i was so mad i could have cried- so i just said bye and left. we went straight out for lunch with frineds- when i went in his nappy bag i realsied the nursery had taken out all his nappies and wipes (despite me telling them i would bring his bag for this week and buy them their own stuff at the weekend)i then read his daily slip.. which said he had eaten all his rice crispes that morning- total lie as i was sat with him for breakfast and i took fruit. then to cut a very long story shorter.. non of it was filled in properly. there was no time he ahd fallen asleep but yet he had woken at 11:30 - I collected him at just after 11!
the more i thought about his 1st day the more upset i got- i called the nursery to complain and the manager apologised...the next day was abit better but the room leader said to me that she was sorry but that the previous day was just a bad day- i told her it was just lazzieness and that on someones 1st day you should make an effort- the problem is i now feel physically sick at the thought of taking him back. My son was so upset after he wouldnt even go to his Dad or Grandma!
Do i continue taking him and see how it goes or just pull him out?

sorry for the rant but i was so upset.... any advice??????

msdevine Fri 18-Sep-09 23:45:53

gosh i know how you feel. I have worked in many childcare settings and have been a nanny and a nursery nurse, and a very good one at that. I have very high standards of childcare. I am just settling my son into a new nursey he starts full time next week. I had the same problem as you I kept wondering when the staff were going to communicate with the children. There were ten children and only one member of staff and I was thinking surely this can not be right and she was not even near them she was on the other side of the room going through papers. The children were creating chaos and I ended up having to save a little girl being poked in the eye by another child.

I felt really uncomfortable leaving him there so I knoiw how you must be feeling. Its so hard leaving them especially if its with people that you feel just dont care enough.

If its only for two morning maybe you can go with him a few more times as since the first day my son went there has been a really lovely lady with him that he really likes. If it was not for her I would not be sending him. Maybe see If the situation improves.

you do need to feel comfortable about it though there is nothing worse than worrying all day.

PortAndLemon Sat 19-Sep-09 00:04:18

It does sound pretty crap, to be honest. If I didn't have to send him, I'd probably pull him out and rethink my options.

pinkprincess1206 Sat 19-Sep-09 09:46:16

thanks, he has missed a week beacuase he has been ill, and now im stressing already about going back - i don't know if it's my worry or that i'm worried for him - if that makes sense??? Part of me thinks now i have complained i should see what happens but the other part thinks i dont get any work done when he is there because im worrying anyway so maybe just pull him out? arrrgh! I think for me it s the trust thing thats gone and i don't know how i get that back? but again i have paid and whilst obvioulsy my son is more important than money - i cant really afford to lose the money and pay for something else! If he had been unsettled and the nursery was running as it should have been i wouldn't feel so bad - i don't know what to do

pinkprincess1206 Mon 21-Sep-09 21:50:19

Just thought i'd update - i finally decided to pull DS out of said nursery. I went in today to explain to them that he wouldnt be going back and why. I asked for all DS stuff back - (bearig in mind i took in new packs of nappies, wipes and cream when i collected him on his last visit , all with his name on!) i was handed a carrier bag with 10 nappies in (wrong size and half a packet of wipes (not the ones i took in!) .....i think i have made the right choice!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Thanks for letting me rant and get all this off my chest...

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