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tips on leaving my DD

(8 Posts)
freyski Mon 17-Aug-09 14:49:07

I have just left my DD who is 13 months at nursery for the first time. She is having a settling in session. I feel some much worse than I thought I would (yes sat here bubbering!). She looked scared and I wanted to pick her up and run. She is used to going to her Grand parents for two days a week but this is the first time I have left her anywhere else. When it came to leaving I didnt know weather it was best to say goodbye or just leave when her attention was distracted. I said goodbye but she got upset. I stayed until she calmed down. When I eventually left I felt like I had abandoned her. I know this is irrational. Any tips on making this easier?

freyski Mon 17-Aug-09 14:52:00

sorry just checked through and there are lots of treads about this (must be the time of year!). There seems to be a lot of good advice on them. I should have check first (blush)

CMOTdibbler Mon 17-Aug-09 14:54:43

I think it's always best to say a cheerful and short Goodbye. It's always going to be hard to leave them, especially as it's very different from being the only child at the grandparents. But they do settle in very quickly

CuppaTeaJanice Mon 17-Aug-09 15:03:55

Say goodbye or she'll think you've vanished and won't know why, or if you're ever coming back.

They all cry the first few times, but if the staff at the nursery are doing their job properly she'll soon be distracted and start having fun with all the new toys and other children.

You've just got to be brave and not focus on the saying goodbye bit, which can be distressing for everybody. I don't know of anybody who has regretted sending their child to nursery in the long run.

It will get easier and soon she'll be waving you off with a big smile!

MrsBadger Mon 17-Aug-09 15:07:03

depends on child and circumstance

sometimes a firm goodbye and leg it
other times you need to (eg) sit and read a whole book with them on your lap, then pass book to carer and say 'now dd read it with Anna?'
other times it is ok to hand them straight into carer's arms and wait outside the door till the howling stops...
eventually they will hurl themselves out of the car and through the door, only turning away from the sand tray to give you a casual wave when you say 'Bye, dd. BYE. BYE!'

I have done all 4 at different times

NobodyIKnowReadsTheFarkingDM Mon 17-Aug-09 15:11:44

Yep loads of good threads on this.

But because every mum who's going through it deserves to hear this from mums that have been through it : it will get easier, promise smile

BornToFolk Mon 17-Aug-09 15:14:36

Definitely a cheerful goodbye. Tell your DD exactly what it going to happen, even if you think she might not understand. Tell her that you're going to leave her and when you'll be back. If you feel that staying with her until she calms down helps her, then do it. I always found that it was best to do it quickly - DS was going to cry no matter what I did, but the quicker I left, the quicker he'd get over it.

Always be very positive about nursery, tell her about all the fun she's going to have, people she'll see etc. Big smile when you leave...and then burst into tears when you get out of the door!

DS started nursery at 12 months, cried every day for months (but calmed down quickly). Now at 22 months, he goes in with no problem. I have to call him back to kiss me goodbye!

freyski Mon 17-Aug-09 15:14:47

Thanks for the advice. I dont think I was prepared for the strength of feelings that i experienced when I left her in the room. I felt like I had left her in the dark with a pack of wolves rather than playing instruments with a group of toddlers! Hopefully it wont be long before I am getting the hump because she cant wait to leave me and get into nursery.

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