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Does anyone else's DC really not want to go to nursery in the morning?

(7 Posts)
iwouldgoouttonight Mon 13-Jul-09 16:04:46

DS is nearly three and has been going to nursery since he was about 7 months. To begin with he was fine (probably too young to know what was going on really) but he seems to gradually like going less and less. When we're getting ready to go in the morning he gets really upset. As soon as he wakes up he asks if its a nursery day, and if we say yes he gets into a right state, crying and shouting 'I don't want to go to nursery' over and over until its time to go! Have tried not mentioning it until we leave the house but he knows because we're all rushing to get ready for work, etc.

I've spoken to the staff and they assure me he's happy once he's there, they say he's upset when we drop him off but after 5-10 mins he's fine, and on the times I've turned up early to collect him he looks as though he's playing happily before he sees me.

It just seems strange that if he's ok when he's there why he seems so upset at the thought of going. Do you think its just toddler behaviour - they start playing with something at home and then don't want to stop to have to go out, or maybe he misses us? I'm worried that he doesn't like it but kind of puts on a brave face once he's there because he knows he's there for the day so might as well get on with it?

He does occasionally mention his friends there, but rarely tells us what he's done all day.

He only goes two days a week so maybe its not enough for him to get settled. We've enrolled him at a playgroup from Sept for two mornings a week as well as the two full days at nursery and I'm worried he'll then get really upset those days too. Or maybe it will do him good to get used to leaving us more.

Has anyone else had experience of this? The nursery staff have been really reassuring and I do trust what they say, they are really nice and seem to genuinely care about DS, but its heartbreaking going off to work after leaving him there sobbing.

thisisyesterday Mon 13-Jul-09 20:39:27

yes, my ds did this for a long time. we never got to the bottom of it really, although I think that the early start didn't help.

what he doesn't like is getting up and being rushed out of the door to nursery (8am start).

so, we started getting up a little earlier and taking it easy in the morning. I went and talked to nursery and found out which children he played with most, and ds1 then confirmed that he liked Harry best! so I made a point of reminding him that Harry would be there to play with.

he has got better

puffylovett Mon 13-Jul-09 20:49:57

I get the same from my DS. and worse, as soon as he spots me when I go to pick him up, he sobs his heart out for half an hour.

He's got a bit better recently but I'm still going to pull him out when I start my mat leave in a month or so. He's been going 1 day per week for the last 3 months. I jsut think he's one of these kids that just aren't ready for nursery till they're older !

maxmissie Mon 13-Jul-09 20:56:56

my dd (2yo)P is like this at the moment, she says 'no nursery' on the way there and is a bit tearful when she arrives, although a few weeks ago she was getting herself really upset when being dropped off. But as soon as my dh has left her she is fine and is usually fine all day. We've put it down to her becoming more attached to my dh (as he's being doing more stuff with her recently as I'm about to have our 2nd baby) and also her favourite nursery staff not always being in when he drops her off. She got a bit better last week as she is becoming more familiar with some of the other staff as she has also just moved up to the next room. We decided not to worry about it too much as she is obviously happy whilst there.

taymum Wed 22-Jul-09 14:30:44

My DD is like this. She is 2yrs old and has been at nursery for the past year or so. She more often than not says she's not going to nursery. Upon reaching the road that the nursery is on she gets a little upset and never says bye to me just looks at me with tearful puppy dog eyes. However when I am out of sight she stops crying and gets on with whatever everyone else is doing. I have gone to collect her earlier than usual just to check on her and have hid behind the door and waited a while to see how she is and she's fine.
I wouldn't worry about it, your DD is probably just missing you, and the fact that you have seen him playing happily before he sees you should put your mind at rest a little.

magbags Fri 24-Jul-09 12:55:11

My dd went through a stage like this between age 2 and 3. It seemed to help when we talked through that sometimes it is ok to feel two feelings at the one time. ie glad to see our friends at nursery but also sad that mummy leaves.

Botbot Fri 24-Jul-09 13:02:57

My dd (just 3) went through a phase a bit like this - was fine actually going to nursery but always got a bit upset first thing in the morning after she'd asked if it was a nursery day or not. Had a big chat with her to get to the bottom of why she felt like this. It turned out that the actual issue was that she wanted to watch TV in the morning before going to nursery (she is allowed to watch it on non-nursery days). It was a big relief to find out that it wasn't nursery itself that was the problem. She still isn't allowed to watch telly before nursery though!

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