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stick with nursery?

(10 Posts)
Rosie55 Thu 02-Jul-09 14:26:44

My DD is 17 months and has been at nursery since she was 11 months. We really like the staff there and she settled in fairly quickly. But it's a big nursery and she'll be moving up to the next room soon (and in 6 months or so, moving up again). She's had a couple of sessions in the next room, and though she hasn't cried much, she's been refusing to eat and drink, or to interact with the staff. She tends to be quiet anyway, and likes watching other children, but I think this behaviour is a sign of feeling unsettled. I know she'll settle eventually, but she really seems to depend on knowing and trusting the people looking after her. So my question is: even though we like this nursery and moving her would cause more upheaval, should we be looking for a childminder instead for a smaller setting, continuity of care etc? We didn't consider a childminder before I went back to work, but now I'm starting to regret that...

rubyslippers Thu 02-Jul-09 14:28:48

ask for her to be held back a month or two

do you think she isn't eating much because of the hot weather?

are any of her keyworkers moving up a room as well

DS has been at nursery and moved up every few months so i know it can feel hard

nurseryvoice Thu 02-Jul-09 14:55:02

Explain your concerns to the Manager and ask her if she can think of anything to ease this transition. If she cant then you can suggest.
holding her back

having her keyworker go with her for a few weeks builing up to a full day (swap with another)
having new keyworker coming to the baby room for a bit too

Bettymum Thu 02-Jul-09 14:58:36

My DD is moving up in September, she'll be 20 months. Our nursery is flexible to within 3 months or so when they move the children up, depending on if they think they're ready.
She won't move up again for about a year after that though, your nursery must have lots of rooms
I think a good idea is to delay, and maybe to see if she can move with another child to give her some company and continuity? DD is going up a week after one of the little boys so they'll both be new littlies at once IYSWIM.

Rosie55 Thu 02-Jul-09 15:28:46

Thanks for your replies. I know I'm probably worrying about not very much and it's nice to have support anyway!

The key worker doesn't move up with the children, or even go on the 'visits' with them (though the baby room manager does check on them during the visits). They do move a couple of the children up at the same time.

I think the refusal to eat and drink was stubbornness. I'm not worried about the eating as much as the drinking in this hot weather - she drank 3 full cups when she got home yesterday.

I expect you're right that delaying would help. They're not keen to do that because she's already a bit older than some others who have moved, and she'll move again at 2 so will need to get used to new people all over again (it has 4 separate rooms). We've also talked about shorter visits, which I hope might help.

Bettymum Thu 02-Jul-09 17:04:07

Hope all goes well when she does move up.

purepurple Sat 04-Jul-09 08:06:13

She might be unsettled for a short while, but she will be fine.
It's a stage that she will have to deal with as being able to cope with transition and change is a very important skill to have.
please remember that the nursery staff will have done this hundreds of times, so be guided by them.

TBH, it sounds more like your problem than your DD's. She can't be a baby forever, you know! smile

Rosie55 Tue 07-Jul-09 08:33:13

I'm well aware that I'm fussing over my pfb, so you might be right, purepurple, that it's more my problem. Having said that, the manager called me in yesterday to discuss strategies for easing the transition, as the staff are concerned about her.

I'm interested that no-one has suggested looking for a childminder. If we were starting to look for childcare now, I'd definitely want to consider that option seriously as I think she's the kind of child who might prefer a quieter environment with just the one carer, but it's probably not a good idea to move her now. Thanks again for your advice.

nurseryvoice Tue 07-Jul-09 16:05:39

I understand how you feel. Your dd is probably worried/scared, she is only little and it is understandable she will be put out by the changes.
Again I would have suggested ideas to aid transition, mine being for her to do couple hours a day then half days before full days.
and of course the keyworker thing
to have her new keyworker work with her before she moves up, and her old keyworker to work in the new room etc all common sense really.
Thats what we do, the child must come first.
Hope your dd will be ok.

mummy2rachel Wed 08-Jul-09 22:05:50

I moved my dd from nursery to childminder after being with nursery for about 5 months. I am really glad that I made the move as I think a childminder setting was more suited for her. Whilst she was doing ok in nursery, I think having just one carer (in childminder's) has helped her to develop better. She seems more secured and less wary of strangers. Also, I like the fact that she gets to go out a lot more now. The childminder takes her to playgroups, walks in parks, library etc.

It is not an easy decision to make. Good luck!

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