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Nursery managers and staff on here, what would you do with a three year old who wasn't very 'sociable' to help them?

(8 Posts)
chipmunkswhereareyou Mon 18-Aug-08 18:50:50

Have posted before generally re Ds who is just turned 3. He prefers adults to children his age, asks the staff at nursery endless questions and has really good relationships with them but doesn't really interact with children there or when with me unless I help him along.

I know this isn't too unusual at this age but it seems that my friend's ds's nursery is doing rather more to help her ds to build social skills and has a group once or twice a week.

Ds's nursery did one little group thing for him ( which I did appreciate as I know the ratios and they can't keep doing activities just for his benefit alone). They got two kids of his choice and facilitated them talking and playing.

But since then they've done nothing and that was a few weeks ago.

So my question, with kids who need a little help with socialising, what do you do at your nursery and how often do you do it?

nurseryvoice Tue 19-Aug-08 18:56:04

Group activities eg a big joint painting or collage.
circle time, encourage him to join in, making it fun. We pass something round and when you hold it you make a funny noise or say what it could be eg a phone a hat etc
if they are too shy they can just pass it on but after a while people join in.

Find out what are his favourite activities
is it painting is it sand maybe encourage him to help set up activities in a morning?
On this idea him and another child/children could be given little jobs to do eg collect the milk or send messages to other rooms etc

We had a little boy just like this, he did come round in the end but he was very intellectual and quite honestly was more on a par with the adults than the children.

Has he been socialised with you and other children much, could you do things with other parents and their children?

chipmunkswhereareyou Wed 20-Aug-08 11:57:14

Great ideas NV - I am definitely trying to make an effort when we are with other children together - facilitating games etc. I think there is a tiny glimmer of improvement.

At nursery how often would you be doing this kind of special activity as well as doing little things day to day?

Also how did the little boy end up? I'm not suggesting ds is super clever but he is a 'thinker' and does seem to find adults much more interesting. Nursery have said he seems very intelligent in the context of discussing how he is with other kids. Did the other little boy get more interested in the others once they were all a little older before they all left for school?

legalalien Wed 20-Aug-08 12:09:44

<watches with interest as DS is similar>. actually, I'm not too worried about DS, as I know I was (in fact I clearly remember being) just like this at age 3. for me, and I suspect for DS, it's because I was very much a talker - with quite a wide vocab at an early age, and found it hard to deal with other children who put less emphasis on verbal communication while playing (and would look at me blankly when I tried to do so). Does your DS talk a lot?

Also, and I think for this reason, I find my DS comes out of his shell a lot more with children very slightly older, because they do talk and seem to have a lot more "rule based" play.

<waits for more advice to come along>

chipmunkswhereareyou Wed 20-Aug-08 12:17:05

He was actually a late talker in some ways but yes now has a very wide vocab and says things beyond his years imho. But there are older ones in his room who are very eloquent and he still doesn't really talk to them much either tbh, just the grown-ups. If we have kids round to play he will try and hang out with me and the other parents and join in the conversation instead of hanging out with the kids, other than if I make a big effort to facilitate a game for them.

nurseryvoice Wed 20-Aug-08 18:43:25

Maybe 2 or 3 special activities a week for a few weeks.
After all theres usually more than 1 child who is a bit shy/quiet. Sometimes its just the way they are and yours is only just 3.
Boys dont usually interact as much as girls anyway .
The little boy we had, did by the time he left for school age 4 start playing and interacting more.
Try not to worry, but why dont you suggest some activities to the nursery, they shouldnt mind.

AngelNanny Sat 30-Aug-08 23:23:42

interaction.
At home: park visits and playdates.
At nursery: Role Play, Circle Time, Group Tasks.
I think your child needs a lot more encouragement in all he does especially at nursery. But i would not worry as im sure he will be fine and communicate with his peers in his own time.

chipmunkswhereareyou Sun 31-Aug-08 21:46:51

Thanks Angel.
I think I will talk to nursery again to remind them to make a little more effort.

He does seem to have become slightly more interested in other children since my OP so hopefully we're going in the right direction (no thanks to nursery!)

He has now got to the point of sounding very positive, almost excited when I suggest a friend coming round to play, whereas previously he would be at best indifferent and at worst negative.

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