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Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum.

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Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum.

Nurseries

Dd2 bitten at nursery today

51 replies

Frizbe · 01/08/2008 21:02

Dd2 has been bitten at nursery today, right underneath the eye, very narrow miss, she's in the toddler age group and needless to say I am not impressed. Earlier this year, she gained a scar on the same cheek, after a young boy pinned her down and goudged her with his nail, my concerns were expresed at the time and I had hoped this was the end of the matter. Nursery declinded to say to dh tonight, when he did the pick up, which child was responsible, but dd1 who is in pre school there, witnessed the whole thing (they were all in the playground) and is in no doubt of the culprit. Obviously I'm not going on the word of a 4 year old, just in case she's horribly wrong. But I think the least I should do it write a letter expressing my concerns. I've taken photographic evidence of dd2's bruised face as well, and of course there is record in the accident book. Am I within my rights to ask for the other child to be removed? or should I just ask for his close supervision? ie make sure he stays away from my dd, who is rapidly gaining scars from the toddler group, that will stay with her for life..... for the record, its a top rated nursery and I've had no such bother with dd1, it just seems to be a child in toddlers this time causing my dd2 bother

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RubySlippers · 01/08/2008 21:04

no you aren't within your rights to ask for the child to be removed

it sounds HORRID for your DD

a nursery will never, ever tell you who the biter is

my nursery keeps a record of biters and bitees so they can keep an eye on what is going on and to try to ensure incidents are kept to a minimum (ie keeping said children apart as much as they can)

i woudl certainly raise it with the nursery

Pennies · 01/08/2008 21:05

Children bite. It happens.

MatNanPlus · 01/08/2008 21:05

at your poor DD2. Think they certainly need to watch the cuprit more closely especially if it isn't the first such incident.

RubySlippers · 01/08/2008 21:06

oh, and Pennies is right - chidlren do bite

ExterminAitch · 01/08/2008 21:08

i can understand why you're worried if you think it's personal, tbh. i'd maybe suggest to them that if it is the same child as last time then the staff keep a very close eye on them. not much more you can do, tbh. but take the photo if it will make you feel better having a record, iykwim?

Frizbe · 01/08/2008 21:10

Yeah I know they bite, but its literally just underneath her eye, it looks quite bad, not quite broken surface, if it had, she'd have needed anti b's.(according to my Dr friend) So I'm ok to request that the other person be kept a strong eye on, bearing in mind this is the 2nd attack.

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Frizbe · 01/08/2008 21:11

you know if it were on her arm, I probably wouldn't be so livid, but its just under her bloomin eye missed by 3mm if that.

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Pennies · 01/08/2008 21:14

"the second attack"! He's a toddler FFS, not a shark.

FWIW my DD1 was also bitten under her eye, I know it looks horrible but it will heal. That bite did break the skin and there's no scar. Your DD will not be scared for life.

Just do as suggested and ask the nursery to keep an eye on the purported culprit and leave it at that. In fact, there's nowt else you can do.

Frizbe · 01/08/2008 21:17

and I shall do that Pennies, and I'm sorry that you don't agree she's been attacked

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jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 01/08/2008 21:20

I doubt a toddler would understand that he was going for the eye so being livid seems slightly pointless.

It is fairly impossible for nurseries to stop biters. It's very very difficult with 1:1 and impossible with 3:1.

Frizbe · 01/08/2008 21:21

I think I'm more livid with nursery than the toddler to be honest! its never nice when you see your little ones hurting eh.

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ExterminAitch · 01/08/2008 21:23

interesting typo, pennies.

i'd be worried precisely because i'd want dd to feel secure in her nursery environment and not be frightened and feel like she might get bitten, not so much because i was fretting that she'd be scarred.

jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 01/08/2008 21:24

Well with a 3:1 ratio its unrealistic to expect them to prevent it (its impossible to prevent with 1:1 anyway, it's part of toddlers mixing). You should expect them to treat it appropriately, and to record it as an incident, and to be in informed (with no names). If they've done all that then they've behaved correctly.

georgimama · 01/08/2008 21:27

Children bite. My son has bitten, and been bitten. When he bit a couple of kids a few weeks ago I was horrified, but was reassured that it is a phase and most do it. It was documented but the parents were not told it was him.

On Tuesday he came home with a visible red mark on the arm which is still there. Nursery were completely over wraught about it as he has not left any marks on anyone. In some ways I was almost pleased as felt less guilty about him biting! Also proved my point that they all do it.

If your DD and the "perp" are under about 3 then I think you are being totally unreasonable, they have no concept of consequence or empathy at that age.

Pennies, you have made me and DH piss ourselves laughing with the shark comment, more please.

traceybath · 01/08/2008 21:28

My little boy got bitten under they eye when i was with him by one of my friend's little boys. His biting phase lasted a long, long time.

I'd definitely speak to the nursery and just ask that your daughter be kept away from the biter as much as possible.

I know that biting is a phase but it is pretty horrid when you see your baby with a bite on their face - just seems a bit more brutal than a bite on the arm.

spudballoo · 01/08/2008 21:29

I think you're over reacting. Both my boys have been bitten on several occasions at nursery, once requiring anti-biotiics. I knew who the 'biter' was on that occasion, as his mother is a friend of mine who was distraught and put 2 and 2 together and told me it was her son.

Whilst none of these occasions have been anything less than upsetting, it IS a normal part of toddler behaviour. 'Attack' is very unfair. Neither of my boys have bitten at nursery, but my youngest has attempted an experimental nibble on me and my husband a fair few times. I just think it's luck of the draw that neither of them have really gone for another child at nursery.

You are being totally unreasonable to think you can request the 'biter' to be excluded. Especially on the word of a 4 year old.

If you're not happy with the nursery then move your children.

georgimama · 01/08/2008 21:30

But they aren't doing it deliberately are they? It may be horrid and it is, but it's not as if the toddler concerned is "bullying" - they have no idea that what they are doing is wrong.

georgimama · 01/08/2008 21:31

x posted spud, totally agree.

meridian · 01/08/2008 21:38

hugs Frizbe

poor DD2. if it is the same child that bit her before than it needs to be adressed with the nursery...they need to keep a monitor on him.... yes kids do bite but there is biting and then there is biting..... it should be monitored becuse this time it may not scar but next time it could... frizbe is right to vent her concerns and dosen't need to be attacked for venting her upset over her DD2 being attacked.

Christie · 01/08/2008 21:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThatBigGermanPrison · 01/08/2008 21:43

Children bite. This will probably not be the last time. The other child is displaying behavior well within the range of normal toddler behavior. You cannot demand that he is expelled, don't be fucking ridiculous. The only way to isolate your daughter from toddler behavior is to remove her from places where other toddlers are.

meridian · 01/08/2008 21:52

doesn't Frizbe have the right to be upset? to vent her feelings and concerns? her DD was bitten badly and she is upset... she is here to figure out what to do.. not to be attacked for her worries...

ExterminAitch · 01/08/2008 21:53

yup, i think she's getting a pretty hard time too.

georgimama · 01/08/2008 21:56

yes she has the right to be upset but she doesn't have the right to demand some perfectly normal toddler is castigated and removed from nursery. It will be her child doing something naughty before very long and I'm sure she wouldn't like to be on the receiving end.

I don't think she is under attack, she asked for views and she got them.

I really doubt she will be scarred (or scared)for life as a result of a couple of nips at age, what, months? They have so much collagen in their skin at this age it won't show in a couple of weeks.

ExterminAitch · 01/08/2008 21:58

gawd, my dd still pisses on about her best mate scratching her at nursery and it was 6 months ago...

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