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Nursery induction not going well - any advice?

(11 Posts)
RudyDudy Tue 08-Feb-05 21:03:09

My DS is 16mo and is due to start nursery for all day Fri & Mon from this Friday. Yesterday I took him to the nursery and stayed with him - after initially standing next to me he seemed to be happy to wander off and explore for himself. This afternoon my husband took him and left him for just over an hour - he cried when he left and when he went to collect him DS was sitting on a mat sort of playing with lego between sobbing . A helper was sitting with him but DH says he wasn't really interacting with him. Obviously this has all upset me quite a bit as I can't bear to think of DS unhappy but we don't really have an alternative childcare option atm. Is he too young for nursery? Will he settle? Is it a big mistake? He's usually such a happy and sociable little chap that we thought he would thrive in this environment but now I'm worried it will make him unhappy. I feel so terrible.

I'm taking him in the morning and leaving him for another hour or two and plan to talk to the manager but I'd really welcome hearing anyone's advice or experiences.

Thank you.

Gobbledigook Tue 08-Feb-05 21:09:41

He's very little but not too little and I think you need to give it a fair bit more time before you decide it's not right for him. It can take a while to settle - it won't be instant - give it a good few weeks I'd say.

Also, he's quite small and you've only got him in for 2 days, split by a weekend and a long week so his visits are very fragmented. That may make settling harder - I'm not suggesting you change it but just saying that it's a bit more unsettling for him than if you put him in say Mon-Wed where he had a few consecutive days in nursery.

He may well be fine so don't worry just yet

Amanda3266 Tue 08-Feb-05 21:11:51

Oh you poor thing. I know this well. My DS went to nursery for 2 days a week from the age of six months. This was fine until he hit 13 months and we then had nearly 8 months of him shrieking as I left the room he was in.

He's not too young and yes he will settle - it just takes time. Some settle in quicker than others. If it's any comfort I used to get dreadfully upset about it all. However, the staff used to tell me that DS settled and was happy within about 30 seconds of me leaving.

It's a big change for him and you are doing the right thing in the gradual introduction - once he adjusts he'll be fine - the staff will be very used to this and know when to move in and try to comfort and when to leave well alone.

Trust me - he won't cry all day. He'll probably make a fuss when you first take him and then settle quickly once you've gone.

My one now clings to me when we first get to nursery but doesn't make a fuss when I leave and seems to have a good time (he's 2 years and 1 month).

Talk to the manager to put your mind at rest but remember that they'll have seen it all before and know ghow to respond.


RudyDudy Tue 08-Feb-05 21:31:38

Thanks guys. I know the days aren't ideal GDG - I had to do a Friday and Monday was the only other day the nursery had available.

I guess we'll stick with it for a while and keep our fingers crossed he settles down.

I keep telling myself that at least he won't remember it

lockets Tue 08-Feb-05 21:35:34

Message withdrawn

RudyDudy Tue 08-Feb-05 21:37:31

I hope so lockets - not sure I can handle it otherwise!

How's the house hunting going? If you're around any Wed or Thur over the next few weeks would be nice to meet up - I might be in need of moral support

lockets Tue 08-Feb-05 21:42:50

Message withdrawn

RudyDudy Tue 08-Feb-05 22:12:51

We've had a few viewings but no offers yet. We're thinking about offering on a place that would be a complete project. We must be mad but it ticks all the right boxes - apart from the fact that we'd have to do the work and not someone else!

Next Wed would be great. My DS usually sleeps between 12.30pm and 2.30pm so anytime around that would suit us. Any suggestions for location? Would be lovely (if a little scary ) to meet you and Dinny!

Blu Wed 09-Feb-05 11:50:17

Rudy - hope it's getting better. If you can, I think I would stay with him for a couple of whole morning sessions before leaving him for longer and longer periods.

Seabird Fri 25-Feb-05 21:31:54

Rudy - how's your ds getting on now? I'm interested to hear because I've started dd (15mo) at nursery this week (2 long afternoons, Mon & Weds) and have been feeling quite upset about it. Like your ds she is sociable and confident but was crying 2 days' running when I went to collect her. I know she'll settle in but it's hard in the meantime. (Just hope she's ok with it by the time ds is born in 6 weeks!)

Chandra Fri 25-Feb-05 22:04:24

I guess it's difficult to be away of Mummy the first times. But it will get better. We had a similar problem with DS when he was only going on monday and thursdays but once he started going three times a week he got more used tothe idea and become easier (though he onlye went twice a week for two weeks so maybe with time he would have got used to two days a week as well). He is enjoying nursery so much lately that I'm really struggling to get him home afterwards, he's even returning to the door and knwocking to see if he can come back . Give him some time or if you don't feel the nursery is "right" try another one to see if he settles better in the other. One of the reasons for which I choose DS's current nursery was that as soon as we enter the room he wanted to go down and sit with the other babies, they took me aound the nursery while he stayed at the room and he didn't even realise I was gone. HTH

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