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Would you talk to this boys mum?

(25 Posts)
dilemma456 Tue 01-Jul-08 21:39:05

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DirtySexyMummy Tue 01-Jul-08 21:41:13

No advice really, but sad for the little boy.

I would tell the mother, FWIW.

Frizbe Tue 01-Jul-08 21:43:07

I'd tell the other mother too sad for that little boy, very lovely of your dd to realise he needs a friend.

MsHighwater Tue 01-Jul-08 21:45:10

You don't say how old this boy is or what effect his disability has on him. Is it possible that he was not being ignored but being left to eat his meal at his own pace?

shreddies Tue 01-Jul-08 21:45:33

Would you want to know? I think I would, I couldn't bear the idea of DS being unhappy and not knowing about it. It's very difficult though if you feel she might not really have an alternative. Poor little boy sad

Flum Tue 01-Jul-08 21:47:50

Oh how sad. PRobably better not to worry her though. Kids do get sad through out the day, so much harder to know about it and not dobe able to do antthing about it though. If she has to work it will jsut make her sad too.

dilemma456 Tue 01-Jul-08 21:49:38

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FairyMum Tue 01-Jul-08 21:55:39

I agree with other poster that it might be that he had just been left to eat his mean in peace.

You only really see snapshots when you come to pick up your DD. I remember being really distressed by this little boy who was always crying for his mother whenever I came to pick up my children from nursery. Whatever time I came, he was crying. I used to wonder why on earth the teachers didn't hold him and give him a cuddle. After a while I realised they did hold him, carry him, cuddle him most parts of the day, but having other children to look after too they could not give him 1-to-1 attention all the time. I later learnt that the manager had told his mother he just wasn't happy and she had taken him out of nursery.

tazmosis Thu 03-Jul-08 22:16:51

Can you talk to the manager about it and find out the context? The nursery my DD's go to are fantastic if I have any concerns and are more than happy to be questioned about things by parents.

Bronze Thu 03-Jul-08 22:18:47

I would mention it to his Mum. If it were me I would appreciate the concern even if it meant that I had to say its ok he needs to eat in peace.

Bronze Thu 03-Jul-08 22:19:42

Oh I wouldnt say I thought he was sad just that he was eating on his own.

shreddies Thu 03-Jul-08 23:00:08

Thinking about this more, I think you do need to be very sure of your assessment of the situation before you talk to his mum. Perhaps keep an eye on it for a while and see what you think? Agree that asking the staff for reassurance in the first instance is a good idea

herbietea Thu 03-Jul-08 23:02:48

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jimjamshaslefttheyurt Thu 03-Jul-08 23:09:33

The first nursery ds1 went to did this. We caught them at it (different room from all the other kids, left sitting alone on a chair, no one talking to him.)

He never went back.

I would have appreciated someone telling me.

TotalChaos Thu 03-Jul-08 23:16:37

Yes. As surely they should be encouraging him to be eating with the other children at snack times. Since he has language problems then I think it's particularly important you mention it, since he may well not be able to complain to his mother.

QuintessentialShadows Thu 03-Jul-08 23:29:13

Could it be that he has some food intolerances, and this particular day he was getting a special meal as the other children maybe had something different? And simply to avoid him getting upset at getting something different to eat, they let him eat on his own?

jimjamshaslefttheyurt Thu 03-Jul-08 23:47:17

the adults could still have spoken to him.

I asked the nursery why ds1 was in a room alone. Apparently it was because 'he liked it'. hmm

He never went back, and I wouldn't leave them in charge of my dog.

TotalChaos Fri 04-Jul-08 10:04:29

Jimjams - that reminds me of DS's rubbish private nursery - they didn't move him up to the 3-4 year room when they were meant to (and nobody bothered telling me this for a month!) because "DS didn't like it". Funny that when I started taking him over to the correct room he was perfectly happy hmm. His school nursery (in a deprived area and very used to kids with SN/language problems) is vastly vastly better. The second morning I was getting him dressed for the school nursery he actually said to me "nice nursery" shock which really made me wonder how unhappy he had been at this old nursery.

sorry to witter on, just it's a subject very close to my heart, the issue of how a kid with language problems can founder in some nurseries.

Sidge Fri 04-Jul-08 15:36:17

My DD has SN and eats sooooo slowly! At nursery she is the last one to finish and the staff will leave her to finish alone, but they are in the room with her clearing up the plates, trolley etc and will watch her and chat to her. She also drops food on the floor which is left until she has finished when they clear her all up (and wipe up the floor too).

So it may or may not mean anything, but if it bothers you you could ask the staff, saying that it ha upset your daughter.

dilemma456 Tue 08-Jul-08 22:53:19

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harpomarx Tue 08-Jul-08 22:58:16

well done for approaching her, dilemma - sounds like you definitely did the right thing. Sounds tough for her but she must be grateful to know there are people like you and the other mum who care enough about her child to make sure he is all right.

mouse1 Sat 12-Jul-08 22:41:16

Hi i'd definately have a word with his mum, I feel so sad for the little boy, that's not fair on him surely, you've just got to think about if the shoe was on the other foot would you want someone to come and tell you I certainly would, hope you do the right thing and talk to her.

mouse1 Sat 12-Jul-08 23:01:28

It's me again i've just realized I hadn't read all and understand that you had a word, I'm so glad you did, I just hope there alright. just glad you and the other mum had noticed things were not right .

mouse1 Sat 12-Jul-08 23:01:29

It's me again i've just realized I hadn't read all and understand that you had a word, I'm so glad you did, I just hope there alright. just glad you and the other mum had noticed things were not right .

dilemma456 Sun 13-Jul-08 09:06:52

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