How do they get babies to sleep in nurseries?

[sabi10]

Hi, i am new to mn so please bear with me.
i am going back to work part time in july and having a panic about the whole thing. My Lo will be about 13 months actual age(10 and a half months corrected as he was 11 weeks early) and going to nursery 2 days a week (wed and thurs).
how do they get babies to nap? do they have darkened rooms and cots? He can't settle himself and i am really worried about how he is going to settle to sleep at nursery. My HV keeps telling me to put him in the cot awake but he does cry and i just can't cope with it. currently he is held for about 10 mins in his darkened nursery then put down asleep, i know its not ideal but it works for us as he sleeps 7 till 6.30am. He only naps for about 25mins at a time but 3 times a day. would they follow what i do at home or is it asking too much?
Can't believe i never thought about this before! . Just thought he sleeps so well with what we do now to leave it as it is, never thought about what they do at nursery .
He is such happy little boy and the light of our lives. Even though he was so early he is catching up quick and is sitting up and almost crawling. I feel so guilty about him being premature and him having such an awful start in life i just can't bear to let him cry it out etc. I have to go abck to work and feel guilty about that too. Maybe we will get a child minder so he doesn't have so change his routine?
Have tried phoning the nursery to ask them about things but they are closed due to a measles outbreak!
Anyway any thoughts? my dh thinks i'm worrying to much and to just leave them to it at the nursery and he will settle in fine. How did your babies nap at nursery? Thanks in advance [ smile]

[LouiseAnn]

Try not to worry about it. It will probably be fine. Ask them what they do, tell them you are concerned and ask for a report back.

[witchandchips]

At you LO's age they are supposed to follow his and your routine as to timing of sleeps and how they get them to sleep. Many baby rooms will have a seperate room with cots and prams. Some babies will be put to sleep in cot, some will be rocked to sleep. Nursery staff are just brilliant at getting them to sleep (much better than us) so don't worrry

[HuwEdwards]

Often they put a white blanket (safely) over the cot, the visual equivalent of 'white noise' I believe. Sometimes, they have a quiet darkened room.

[BarbaraWoodlouse]

Hi, I have been back at work since DD was 8 months old. (Am there now so forgive shortish reply!)

To answer your specific question, at our nursery they seem to favour "patting them off". Where babies don't sleep immediately one of the staff sits with them and pats them rhythmically until they are asleep. They seem willing to try this for ages but if it really doesn't work then no nap (and an early bedtime!) - certainly no hint of letting them cry it out (too disturbing for the other babies if nothing else )

I never thought they'd get my DD to comply but most days she does seem to get a pretty decent nap.

It might be harder to get them to follow your exact routine as nurseries are very led by their own routine but I'm sure they would be able to make some concessions.

As soon as they are back open I'd call and ask for an appointment to pop in and have a chat about their routines etc. You have every right to do so and any good nursery will accommodate this.

Please don't panic. I think the thought is much worse than the reality. I was a mess before DD's first few sessions but now it's fine.

[fletchaaarr]

most nurseries have a seperate room with cots for that age.

I would like to report that my DD, who will self settle at night will not during the day for me, she has to be walked or driven to sleep.

however at nursery, when I asked how they got her to sleep, they looked at me as if I were mad and said "we put her in her cot"

She just lies down and goes to sleep for them

[EdieMcredie]

There are obviously a lot of other issues here for you. Having a premature baby is a huge shock, must have been very hard for you. I do know that babies often settle far easier at nursery than at home but you need to discuss your worries with the staff and I hope that they listen to you and validate your concerns.

Please try not to feel guilty-you're obviously a fab mother!!!

[spicemonster]

Depends on the nursery. Mine has a room with cots in it which is darkened and all the babies have naps when they need them (or when you want them to have them).

Have you not been shown round the sleeping room?

[ceebee74]

I have seen staff doing all sorts at DS's nursery - rocking prams, patting, holding etc - whatever it takes really.

I worried about this aswell when DS first went at 7 months old - but just decided to leave them to it. In fact, it was just like Fletchaarr said that when I asked how he went to sleep, they told me they just put him in the cot and he fell asleep! And on the plus side, he continued to do that at home and it has been fantastic - at both naptime and bedtime, we just leave him and he goes to sleep without a murmur.

However, at DS's nursery, from 12 months old, they try and get the children into the nursery routine of having one nap from 1 o'clock for as long as the children need it so rather than individual cots they just put cushions/giant pillows on the floor and all the children lie down and go to sleep. It seems to work and DS always has at least an hour (if not more) there so he obviously enjoys this. In fact, if you lay anything on the floor at home (towel etc) he automatically goes and lies down on it - very sweet!

Don't stress about it (easier said than done) as children tend to be very adaptable.

[fluffyanimal]

My ds was like Fletchaaar's dd; he always had to be cuddled to sleep, both day and night. He started nursery at 10 months and they were brilliant, tried lots of different tactics with him. First of all they got him to sleep by rocking him in a pushchair and he slept there. Then they started putting him in the cot room and he was fine. He has never done that for me!! Nowadays he tells them when he's ready for a nap and takes himself off to bed!

It's horrible when they start nursery - be prepared to feel quite tearful for a couple of days - but I'm sure he'll settle well. Don't forget the staff are used to children of all different temperaments and used to nervous first time mums too!

[matalot]

My DS is prem (born at 30 weeks) and am in exactly the same boat of settling him in at nursery. He sounds very similar has lots of short naps and have been told that's really common with prems. The nursery has said that they will follow his routine as much as poss which is really helpful - am sure once you explain you will get a similar response. Also we are allowed to provide comforters which also aids sleep and the nursery assistants 'pat them' to sleep as has been described - for as long as it takes - so I shouldn't worry about the 10 mins it takes etc. Once you meet with them am sure that they will explain and show you the room. Also my nursery only had induction hours where you start to settle babies in - but I asked to build up to a whole morning before I went back to work for a whole day. They were fine about it - I got the impression its up to you to say exactly what you want.

I think with a prem - settling in at nursery is tinged with huge amounts of guilt. I had a weep after Friday's nursery session because I felt that the 'organised, structure of the nursery reminded me of SCBU (with all the cots etc). (
Probably sounds mad - but reminded me of all the nights that I had to leave him in his little cot all alone. I felt similar - DS is so happy despite everything he has gone through I couldn't bear to risk it. But he will manage and so will yours - they have already shown their tremendous strength!

[evenhope]

My DD started nursery in January aged 10 months. She had no routine at all. She will only go to sleep for me during breastfeeding, or in the car. At nursery she has a sleep in a cot every time. They can't leave her to cry because there are 10 babies and only 1 sleep room.

[talkingmongoose]

They do it by magic I think! Honestly, I never though dd would sleep at nursery, but she does. It's the nursery staff's job, they are very good at getting them to sleep, and they all do sleep.

[jaz2]

Agree with TM, I didn't believe they would get DS to sleep, but they did, somehow! I think it is often to do with watching their peers. I was highly sceptical about many of the things they said my DS did (being a neurotic mother), but I went in a couple of times to have a peek at what was going on, and they were right.

But the nursery should be very happy to answer your questions / let you have another look round (at a different time of day) - especially if you explain that he was prem. Don't feel awkward about asking for this (tho sometimes the time between lunch and sleep is a bit chaotic - so don't panic if it appears so).

I have found that many nursery staff don't understand a mothers anxiety - because they haven't had the experience of being a mother. But most of them should do you the courtesy of listening to you (within reason!), and caring for your LO accordingly. Their way of caring may be different to yours - but it might not be wrong.

Trust your instincts, try not to panic and good luck.