Do I send my DS to a nursery I am not happy with? (Long, sorry)

[Katie3677]

To cut a long story short, my DS's (3)nursery closed just before Easter and I have had a real struggle finding another that does the hours I need. Finally found one and DS had a settling in session today. I stayed with him for most of it and was really unhappy with what I saw. Firstly, when we arrived the 2 staff didn't introduce themselves to me or DS and disappeared for a good five minutes to talk to other parents at the door, leaving me and DS standing around not knowing what to do on our own with 10 other children (the reception is down the corridor from the main room, so they were nowhere near the kids). They don't know who I am so should not have left me on my own with kids, plus surely the children should never be left entirely on their own without a member of staff around.
Secondly, although there were 2 members of staff working for 10 kids, one of them is the proprietor and is well into her 70's and is not really capable of getting out of her chair, let alone rushing to the loo with one of them or being on hand quickly if needs be. Apparently there are usually three staff but no explaination was given about the third not being there today.
The children who went off for a sleep after lunch were very happy to do so but were put in a separate room with the door closed. I was sitting right outside the door and couldn't hear anything through it, so doubt anyone else could have either.
One little girl spent the whole three hours crying and was virtually ignored, not out of malice, but because the one able bodied carer had her hands full and didn't have the time to give her a cuddle.
I generally felt that the place is understaffed and the children not watched closely enough as a result.
I have really struggled to find a place that fits in with my working hours and really have no alternative, but am now feeling very worried about sending DS to this place. I have friends who send their children there and are really happy with it so I don't know if I am just being precious, or whether I should really take note of my gut instinct. i know that no one can care for our children as well as we can, but was so happy with the last place that this is such a let down. DS seemed to enjoy himself and told me he liked the place.
If I had an alternative there is no way that I would send DS here, but I really, really don't and have to go back to work 3 days a week from Monday.
Any advice greatly appreciated.

[ruddynorah]

you aren't happy with it so no don't leave him there. you'll feel awful the whole time he's there. what else have you tried? no places anywhere else? childminder? private nursery?

[HonorMatopoeia]

My intitial reaction is no, but then that is not practical in your situation. Could you give it a couple of weeks and see if you feel any easier? Or you could keep him in whilst you look for another place?
I was very unhappy with a place Dd1 had, I thought I'd change my mind but I'm afraid I never did. Having said that, I was in a similar position and she had to stay in as I had no other choice for various reasons.

[HonorMatopoeia]

Sorry, meant to say, in the end we went to a childminder - Dd1 was much happier.

[HonoriaGlossop]

Always go with your gut reaction.

Have you considered a childminder?

[StealthPolarBear]

can you taslk to your friends and see what they think? How come they're all happy?

[oregonianabroad]

That sounds really hard, I'll bet you're really stressed out.

But, in answer to your question, I would not be happy leaving my children in the circumstances you describe, and I had a similar situation happen last year.

In your shoes, I would look for alternatives. Have you thought about other kinds of childcare?

I hope you find something that works out for you soon.

[Youcannotbeserious]

I wouldn't take the chance....

The things you describe are pretty serious.

I suppose in the short term, you may have to,if you need to work, but I'd def. consider other arrangements?

[Katie3677]

Thanks for your responses. I have been down the childminder route before. DS was with one recommended by a friend for almost a year, but I pulled him out for two reasons. Firstly she decided to tell the friend that I had had a miscarriage, before I got around to telling her myself, and I also heard from another mother that her daughter was being shouted at and locked in the loo by the CM for having accidents whist potty training (this was before ds started potty training). So, in short I am not keen on going back down the CM route. I know that I shouldn't judge on one experience, but DS does seem to need the stimulation that nursery provides. All other nurseries in the area are only part time and not open during school holidays, which would be a nightmare for me, and unfortunately I really need to work.

[HonoriaGlossop]

hmm that sounds a bad experience with the previous childminder, but I honestly think that's the option you now need to look at again if the other nurseries locally are impossible.

I certainly wouldn't leave my son in the nursery you're talking about in this thread....

I would say don't be put off by one childminder; shop around and find one who may suit you and ds. Or have you thought about sharing a nanny? Local paper might have something in advertising anyone who does this?

good luck - sounds stressful!

[Katie3677]

HonorMatopoiea, just spotted that you are from vaguely the same area as me, don't s'pose you could recommend a CM/ nursery in the area? Just in case it is one that I haven't looked at yet.

[SimpleAsABC]

What about a nanny? or an aupair??

[Katie3677]

Don't think I can afford a nanny or au pair and as i only work 3 days a week from home it seems an unecessary expense. Also, he loves the sociability of nursery and was learning so much at his last one. just such a shame that the old nursery had to close when he was so happy there. Oh well, the search continues...

[babbi]

You said that you don`t want a childminder as you feel he needs the stimulation of nursery - but realistically from what you describe there will be no stimuation worth mentioning at the place you describe ...

Try another childminder - there are good ones out there .

I would not leave my child at that nursery at all

[DeeMid]

Why don't you speck to the nursery about your concerns?

If you have no choice but to go to work on Monday then see about finishing early to pick up DS early and see what the situation is like then.

Or look at Network Childminders, these ladies are qualified, go to regular training and I wouldn't be surprised if some are not Accredited to devliver the foundation stage. Also they have regular checks from their Network co-ordinator who is employeed by the council. Speck to your local Childrens Information Service.

[lovelylou]

As a nursery nurse i would be reporting the nursery to offstead. Staff are not allowed to leave the room unattended [without staff] for a start. I am also sure that shutting the sleep room door while children are asleep is against regulations as again it is leaving the children unattended

[hedgepig]

Katie could you look at it from a different way, ie change your hours to fit around a nursery you are more happy with? less hours to fit in with a p/t nursery or spread your 3 days over 4? Or try an mix things with a nursery in the morning to give him the social time he need and a CM to collect and care for your DS in the afternoon
From what you have described it sound like the care is inadequate. This sounds a bit melodramatic but in the worst case what happens if there is a fire? and the proprietor isn't mobile enough to get the children out?

[ReallyTired]

There is no way I would send a child to a nursery like you described. Would you consider sending your child to two different nurseries or using a nice nursery for as many days as you can get and then supplement with a childminder until a space on the days you need comes up.

If the nursery was vile when a parent was there, what is it going to be like when there is no parent.

[mumofhelen]

I would NEVER EVER leave my child is such a nursery.

This is what I (note I so may not be necessarily be "right") would do:

1. Start looking at other nurseries and childminders. Go to the Childcare Link.
   
   
2. Ask your local authority for help.
   
   
3. Ask other mums at work. What do they do? Where do they send their children? If your boss/line manager is any good, he/she should be able to advise.
   
   Sorry to be blunt here, but I simply CAN NOT believe that there's only one nursery you can use. I live in a small town (population around 10,000 at the last census 2001) and it has 10s of childminders, 5 day nurseries plus 2 SureStart Centres and countless small playgroups. I advise you to look harder and contact your local authority. Under the Chilcare Bill 2006, it's a legal requirement for the local authority to help you find "GOOD, QUALITY, childcare". What you describe in your post is appauling and I'm surprised OFSTED has OK the place.