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13 month old only having 1 nap??

(20 Posts)
HPLmummy Wed 02-Sep-20 22:20:40

Hi!
After some advice... my LO started nursery 3 weeks ago, it is going ok, still a lot of tears at drop off but apparently he has a good time when he is there. My main concern though is that when I pick him up/up until he goes to sleep he has absolutely shattered and over tired.
Before nursery, he had a good routine going off wake up around 7:30, first nap around 11ish for 1.5 hours and then second nap around 3 for an hour. Then bedtime around 7:30/8.
Now at nursery he is only have one nap; I believe they put them down around 12:30 and on average my LO is only napping for around 40 mins. Then this is the only nap he is having a day... he is miserable when he comes home! And nursery say he doesn't eat a lot of his lunch... I'm thinking this is because they give the babies lunch at 11:30 (before their nap) but my LO is used to waking up, having breakfast then napping before having lunch at about 12:30/1.
I don't know what to do; I feel like a pain broaching this with nursery as I'm assuming they have the same plan/routine for all the treatment so don't know if they will amend things for my LO but he just seems so miserable when he comes home it breaks my heart. Like I said, apparently he's great when he's there but he's sleep deprived surely? I thought at his age (13 months) they were meant to get 2-3 hrs nap time a day?
Help please. How am I best to go about this situation for my baby boy? He is at nursery 3 days a week, so the other 4 days we follow our normal routine of 2 naps, should I drop him to 1 nap to get him used to nurseries routine? I just don't know what to do. TIA x

OP’s posts: |
Babs709 Wed 02-Sep-20 22:22:19

So just to clarify, the nursery don’t follow your schedule at all? And they’re not willing to?

HPLmummy Wed 02-Sep-20 22:25:24

@Babs709 hello, no they don't... they gave me forms to fill in on his settling in day where I had to write his usual routine and I told them his routine verbally, but doesn't seem they have followed it x

OP’s posts: |
CharismaticVic Thu 03-Sep-20 14:37:33

Our nursery dont follow ours either. Both our kids were 1+ when they went and still had an afternoon bottle as they are/were slow weaners and we would have to constantly remind them.

Findahouse21 Thu 03-Sep-20 14:40:44

I think you need to talk to them and find out if

A) your lo doesn't want to nap when the other kids are playing, which they can't do much about really or

B) they haven't tried to get him to bap twice and want him to fit in with their routine of 1 long nap. Which isn't great.

OverTheRainbow88 Thu 03-Sep-20 14:43:33

Ours just does a standard routine, lunch at 11.30 sleep between 12-2ish dinner 4.30

TokenGinger Thu 03-Sep-20 14:48:49

Definitely have a chat with them.

However what I will say is, my son was also 13 months when he started nursery and his sleep and eating were all over the place for the first four weeks. It was a huge upheaval for him. He wouldn't eat any of their food, at all. He would only take his milk. He could have 1 nap or he could have 4 naps. But once he realised that nursery was a place for fun, not that he'd been abandoned by us, and that we still picked him up in the evening, that he started to settle.

I researched this when he started nursery and what I found suggested that between 12-15 months, they have 1-2 naps a day. From around 15-18 months, they've usually dropped to 1 nap.

Nursery did ask me whether I wanted forced nap times or whether I was happy to take his lead, and I went for the latter. He lets us know when he's tired. Sometimes that can be after 3 hours awake time and sometimes he can go for 5 hours.

He's now settled into one nap a day at nursery (he's 15 months) and it's usually between 1-2 hours. He couldn't have managed this at the start of nursery but now he's settled, he seems to sleep better there.

Definitely speak to nursery. I'm sure they'd be happy to follow your routine.

turnthebiglightoff Thu 03-Sep-20 15:01:17

My DS dropped to one nap at 11 months, 11-12.30. He's 17 months now and does the same. He wouldn't be able to sleep in the morning with all the other kids being awake, surely?!

Grrretel Thu 03-Sep-20 19:04:27

They don’t have the staff to follow his routine, you have to accept with nurseries that children have to adapt to the group.

I would stick with nursery routine on his home days and try to get him sleeping two hours after lunch.

GreyishDays Thu 03-Sep-20 19:06:39

At that age you’ll be wanting to drop to one nap generally anyway won’t you? Two is such a PITA and they’re ready for just one mostly at around a year.
I’d try and get him down to one nap at home, then he’ll manage fine at nursery too.

Babs709 Thu 03-Sep-20 19:08:31

“They don’t have the staff” seems an odd thing to say, I’m pretty sure OP would have checked the child to staff ratio?

Also “he wouldn’t be able to sleep in the morning with the other kids awake”.....?!

OP: does your sons nursery have a decent ratio of staff to children? And does the nursery have a separate room for the babies to sleep in? (IME they usually sleep in a cot in a separate room up to age 2 and then tend to sleep on the floor in a darkened corner of the room).

I think you need to take it up with them, it’s not working and it’s not acceptable. They obviously intended to keep to his schedule else they wouldn’t have asked for it. Sleeping for only 40 minutes sounds like it’s just a new environment and he’s struggling, hopefully he’ll settle.

Babs709 Thu 03-Sep-20 19:10:23

At that age you’ll be wanting to drop to one nap generally anyway won’t you? Two is such a PITA and they’re ready for just one mostly at around a year.

Personally don’t agree with this, I think two naps is fine until your son is ready to drop one whether that’s a year or 18 months. The behaviour you’re describing doesn’t sound like he’s ready to drop one.

NellyJames Thu 03-Sep-20 19:11:24

Most day nurseries will just follow one standard routine for those babies over 1yr. When you visited did you ask about that? Did you ask at settling in if they could accommodate your child’s 2 nap routine? That was the first thing I asked at every nursery I visited.

Ihaveoflate Thu 03-Sep-20 19:20:49

My 14 month old still has two naps at home (totalling at least 2 hrs) but will only nap once at nursery. They tried following our routine when she went back in June, but she was having none of it! We're lucky if she sleeps for an hour at nursery - she's just too stimulated.

He will get used to having less sleep on nursery days, or he might start sleeping for longer when he settles in. I think it's quite common for babies not to sleep for as long in childcare settings. There's too much excitement going on!

NaturalStudy Thu 03-Sep-20 19:33:59

IME this is common. Nursery is too exciting and no-one has enough time to spend getting them to sleep and keeping an eye on them if e.g. the other children are all out in the garden. Mine just has an earlier bed time on nursery days but we keep to our usual two nap routine otherwise. Babies are very adaptive and will easily get into two different routines.

Grrretel Thu 03-Sep-20 20:12:19

Babs709

“They don’t have the staff” seems an odd thing to say, I’m pretty sure OP would have checked the child to staff ratio?

Also “he wouldn’t be able to sleep in the morning with the other kids awake”.....?!

OP: does your sons nursery have a decent ratio of staff to children? And does the nursery have a separate room for the babies to sleep in? (IME they usually sleep in a cot in a separate room up to age 2 and then tend to sleep on the floor in a darkened corner of the room).

I think you need to take it up with them, it’s not working and it’s not acceptable. They obviously intended to keep to his schedule else they wouldn’t have asked for it. Sleeping for only 40 minutes sounds like it’s just a new environment and he’s struggling, hopefully he’ll settle.

Why is it odd? Nurseries don’t provide 1:1 care, staff need lunch breaks, the other children need to be cared for too and the staff still have to do all the cleaning, laundry, food prep and nappy changing that comes with babies. It’s not possible to have every child on an individualised routine.

HPLmummy Fri 04-Sep-20 11:32:06

@Babs709 @Grrretel @OverTheRainbow88 @GreyishDays @CharismaticVic @Findahouse21 @TokenGinger @turnthebiglightoff @NellyJames @Ihaveoflate @NaturalStudy thank you everyone for your input I really appreciate it.
I did ask about naps when initially viewing the nursery, and it was reiterated during settling in sessions and during viewing that they encourage sleep/following the child's routine so I was confident my LO's would be fine. They are a separate sleep room with cots for the babies to sleep in. And they said they are a ratio of 1:3 staff to children (could be 1:4 - one of the other!) so again, I was confident and am still confident that they would do a good job. I don't want to be seen as bashing the nursery I am certainly not getting at that, I know they are great with my son and I understand that they probably do have a general schedule of their own that they follow but they did ask me/I asked them about my LOs routine so I just assumed it would be followed.
My issue is my LO being so overtired on nursery days, I'm a first time mum so it's completely new to me, hopefully it will just be a case that he needs to get used to the new setting and he will adjust. But it's just hard to see your little human miserable isn't it? He 100% still needs 2 naps. Today (a non-nursery day) he was well ready for his nap by 10:30am today! Yawning his head off and the second I put him in his cot he was gone. And he will definitely want another nap later. He sleeps great through the night when he has two naps. Where as on nursery days (with 1 nap) he has a very unsettled sleep through the night.

Thank you all again for your comments I think I will give it another week, and on his last day of nursery next week I might just kindly discuss with his keyworker what they suggest is the best way to go about it? X

OP’s posts: |
Pawsin Sat 05-Sep-20 17:00:02

Surprised from all these comments about nurseries following one standard routine for all the children! I'm the leader of a room of children up to 18 months and we follow the routine the parent wants. I would be worried if a nursery did not have the staff to meet such a basic need for a young child. If a parent asks for their child to be put down for 2 sleeps we do it, and if they consistently don't sleep for 1 of them, I'll have a chat to the parent about how they feel if we drop it down to one. I would be concerned if they're choosing to ignore your choices OP, and I would definitely bring it up with them and stress on the fact that you do want your child to be tried for 2 naps still

Tumbleweed101 Sun 04-Oct-20 08:26:44

We follow the parents routine for naps and bottles and I believe most nurseries with a baby room would do the same.

He may simply not be settling to sleep at nursery in the way he would at home because it’s a different environment.

stardance Fri 16-Oct-20 21:46:41

I work in a nursery and we try to follow the babies routines as much as we can.

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