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first day at nursery - should i stay or should i go?

(8 Posts)
vnmum Tue 02-Oct-07 12:02:27

my DS 22months is due to start nursery within the next few weeks. he will be doing 2 mornings a week. he has never really been away from me or DH before apart from the occasional few hours with grandparents.

when he is at toddler groups he generally goes off and plays and only comes back to me to show me toys or if he is pushed etc by another child.

he will have a friend whom he plays with at nursery so it will be someone he knows but on his first day should i stay with him or should i just go when hes distracted and leave my number for if he gets very distressed?

i dont like the thought of him getting upset and thinking ive left him but i know he will benefit from going to nursery

Sunshinecursedmummy Tue 02-Oct-07 12:04:46

I would say go and get them to ring you if he's upset. At least that way you'll see as you'll have to leave him eventually. Maybe do a phased intro though - two hours first day, increasing over a week.

DoctorFrankenSquonk Tue 02-Oct-07 12:04:54

Talk to the staff at the nursery and see what they recommend.

At dd2's nursery, they suggested that I stay for the first session, then for the next few, I just stay for five minutes or so. We are hopeful that in a couple of weeks I will be able to just drop her off at the door like all the other mums.

Also, talk to him beforehand and explain what is going to happen - if you decide to leave him, tell him that you will be going, but you will be back. Make sure that he understands that you are not going forever.

If he is at all unhappy, I think you should stay.

Howdydoody Tue 02-Oct-07 12:05:52

I always stay for about 20 mins/half an hour or so, gradually moving to play with other children so that he/she can still see me. Then i pop out for an hour (maybe read paper in car outside) but leave phone number so i can be back asap if needed.

Most nurseries have their own policies or ideas that work so see what they suggest.

Hope it goes well smile

callmeovercautious Tue 02-Oct-07 12:06:13

Ask if they do settling in sessions first. I stayed with DD on her first day which was about 2 hours and she never looked at me once! After that I just left her and she has been fine.

Some lo do go through phases of being clingy but it sounds like your DS is quite outgoing at toddlers so he will probably be fine at Nursery.

mellowma Tue 02-Oct-07 12:07:24

Message withdrawn

ruddynorah Tue 02-Oct-07 12:08:23

for dd's first session we went together just for an hour. i filled in all the forms while she played.

then the next time she went for an hour on her own.

then 2 hours on her own, then 3, and now she goes 2 afternoons a week.

witchandchips Tue 02-Oct-07 12:16:04

Settling in arrangements seem to work really well. we had
first day come for an hour with parent
second day have an hour with parent and then an hour without
third day whole morning without
then straight to full time
worked fine for us

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