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Is this normal?

(4 Posts)
Hansmummy Thu 20-Sep-07 21:04:24

I've got a 3 1/2 yo DD, and she has done (most of) her first week at nursery.
I start at Uni in two weeks, but because I'm doing Law I have 5 lectures each morning from 9-2, and then supervisions every afternoon until 5pm (I'm at Cambridge, it's a weird system!), so she's in nursery from 8am until 5.30pm as I've got a ton of pre-reading.
As I've always been on my own with her we are very very close and very very good friends, and do everything together, until now.
She did used to go to a childminder's during term time for 3 half days from being 9 months so that I could do my A-levels, but it was 8 weeks there, 8 weeks at home full time, 8 weeks there, etc.
From May however we've just been home together every day, and we are as close as ever.
Now she is distraught every morning from waking up, she won't let go of me when we get to nursery, I can hear her still screaming when I'm in the car park when I leave, she screams when I pick her up and begs me not to take her back, it's awful. I feel sick!
I keep telling her how wonderful she is and how brave she is being and how great it will be to have friends to play with and parties to go to, and am really strict with picking up times so that she knows I'm always coming back for her, but I am finding this harder than I would ever have imagined. I can't bear taking her because I feel like I'm mentally scarring her.

I'm getting daily reports from the nursery nurses and she calms down and plays fine after a while, and she's always had playdates at other people's houses and toddler groups to go to etc, so it's not that she's anti-social, she's the leader of the pack already apparently, I'm just scared she'll really start hating me because I've never been able to give her time away from me because there is no one to have her while I go somewhere without her, and despite my reassurances she seems to think that nursery is a punishment, despite the fun she really honestly does have there.

How have others dealt with this? Does it get any easier?

PrincessGoodLife Thu 20-Sep-07 22:00:09

It will get easier. We had very similar with our DS> There were days where we had to physically carry him kicking and screamin in to the nursery and leave him for the staff to sort out (at their suggestion). It took a while (he's a stubborn boy!) but he is now really really happy there. He knows he will be picked up and praised for being 'a big boy staying in school by himself'.

You are not scarring her. You are setting her a good example by improving your education. You'll both get used to it and enjoy your time together even more.

Good luck. It'll be fine. smile

Hansmummy Fri 21-Sep-07 00:35:07

Thank you so much-I'm sewing name tapes into clothes like there's no tomorrow!

I am so glad you had the same problem and turned it round-at the moment she gets a new story tape and an ice lolly when she gets home so that we can sit together for a bit and be together without talking about her day (she refuses to say anything on the subject at all) and I can still praise her for being a good girl without mentioning the N word, and she still knows why she's getting the treats without mentioning the N word! The joys of motherhood!

PrincessGoodLife Fri 21-Sep-07 08:53:35

yes, a little 'motivation' goes a long way. DS is allowed one cartoon on telly when he gets home for being a big brave boy! It also helps him sit still for while and rest (because it sounds like he doesn't stop running around all morning in nursery), ready for running around in the garden all afternoon. Exhausting boy!

Refusing to talk about it is part of the process. She probably doesn't want to admit to you that it is actually quite fun. DS does this ocassionally and used to do it a lot at the start. Now it's usually because he is having a 'low' day (related to not having enough sleep or having a cold). He will say that he did 'nothing' in schol and ate 'nothing', which is of course made up to 'punish' us for leaving him grin.

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