My son has been at nursery since he was two, he moved up into the 3-4 room in September, he is summer born. He's had a few health problems in his 3 years but he's doing really well considering. He's extremely shy and always has been however at nursery he has come on really well, he has lots of friends there and he always talks about them at home, he's always playing and seems happy when we pick him up. He's fully potty trained and has been since before his 3rd birthday, he's seeing a speech therapist at nursery and he's making big improvements but as he's so shy he doesn't communicate much or talk to the staff much, he doesn't shout or anything he talks to them in a really quiet voice under his breath. At home he never stops chatting.
Now since starting in the 3-4 room whenever we pick him up his keyworker is always very negative, she will never say he's had a good day or 'he did this this and this' I can't remember the last time he even got a sticker, maybe October?
The negative things are like 'refused to wear his hat so couldn't go outside today' 'can't put his coat on so didn't go outside, we fall out about his coat every morning' my son couldn't actually do his coat but he's got the hang of it now.
At the Christmas party I spoke to her and she told me she has all the summer born children in her group and children like my son are going to really struggle in reception unless she 'toughens them up'.
My son has never hit or done anything that I'd consider naughty, it always seems to be stubborn toddler stuff. Today my partner went to pick up my son and she didn't say hi just 'he keeps picking his face' it was my sons last day before Christmas and she never said have a good Christmas or anything! She walked off and my partner left the chocolates for the staff on the side.
It's so odd, his last keyworker always had a little story every now and then and she laughed off the shyness or silly stuff and I still knew about the 'problems' to help my son cooperate more.
When we drop him off we have to wait for a staff member to get him and take him into the room and encourage him to join in. It takes about 2 minutes and my son joins in a lot quicker, with his keyworker she will sign him in and then walk off into the room so I'm stood there with my son, when I've tried to leave he gets very upset and quiet, faces the wall closes his eyes, says he wants to go home, gets tears in his eyes etc. He refuses to walk over to a group of children without them inviting him over. It is really sad as I know once he's in he is absolutely fine and will go up to them on his own. He just needs a bit of encouragement to get going on a morning and I can't leave him on his own at the cloakroom like that. If the keyworkers not in the other staff say hi to him and offer their hand to walk him into the room, it doesn't seem a problem to them at all.
Is it normal for us to feel like this about nursery? It feels really intense and like the pressure is already on for school when I don't think he's ready yet, some kids in his class are a year older than him which is a big difference at that age and he can't be expected to behave the same as them can he?
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Nurseries
Key workers constant negativity about 3yo
40 replies
PonderLand · 19/12/2019 16:06
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