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Nursery staff not saying goodbye

(20 Posts)
Lois345 Mon 18-Nov-19 20:13:39

Hi everyone, am I being unreasonable? My DS aged 16 months started new nursery a few months back. He was at a wonderful place before, but we had to find a new place due to us moving. I have been a little sceptical of this nursery from the start. No dedicated key worker, constantly new adult faces, most staff is untrained, always babies standing around looking lost, staff unsmiley etc. Several times recently the staff has not said goodbye to my DS when we have left. Often it is because we have done the handover and there are other parents there, so by the time DS is dressed in his coat and shoes they are busy talking to other parents. However I think that they could just look up and give a quick smile and a wave. Several times (incl. today) my DS will wave and say bye-bye (which he has just learned to say) to a room of adults that does not even acknowledge that he is there. I always make an effort to make sure that transitions into nursery when we arrive are good, and I would really like the same to happen when we leave. When it happened today, I must admit that I was livid. Am I overreacting, is this normal behaviour? Thanks for reading - your input is very much appreciated.

OP’s posts: |
Loopytiles Mon 18-Nov-19 20:14:37

Some nursery care is poor IME, you’re not getting positive signs from this one, I would look for alternative childcare.

VincentVanGoughandhisear Mon 18-Nov-19 20:15:22

Yabu that they dont say goodbye.

Wildorchidz Mon 18-Nov-19 20:16:03

It sounds dire. Why are you leaving him there?

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat Mon 18-Nov-19 20:18:20

I wouldn’t be fussed about the goodbye thing but the other things would be enough to make me look elsewhere. Probably a childminder.

Lois345 Mon 18-Nov-19 20:34:34

He is on several waiting lists already. But we have moved from a little countryside town with wonderful nurseries to a major city, where waiting lists at good places long. Not happy to leave him there at all and have found a part time nanny (who is great), but I am afraid that we will have to endure a little longer (he has a place somewhere else from March). Would you write to the manager? perhaps not about the goodbye, but about the other things?

OP’s posts: |
Wildorchidz Mon 18-Nov-19 20:36:04

No dedicated key worker, constantly new adult faces, most staff is untrained, always babies standing around looking lost, staff unsmiley etc.

I would ask for a meeting with the manager.

Lois345 Mon 18-Nov-19 20:38:04

@wildorchidz thank you! I will do that. I am too polite and making complaints does not come naturally to me at all.

OP’s posts: |
Myshinynewname Mon 18-Nov-19 20:43:15

YANBU. If they ignore him in front you while you are there how do they treat him when you’re not there?

Mabbers Mon 18-Nov-19 21:06:58

That's crap and the bye thing would upset me. I think it's a small thing to make them feel valued and heard. And I'm not precious.

The nursery my kids attended wasn't fab in a few ways but my kids always felt like the staff were pleased they were there and always said goodbye and remembered small things about their lives so they felt part of the community. Same as I would at work

insancerre Wed 20-Nov-19 08:37:01

So they have done the goodbye thing but because you are hanging around putting shoes and coat on, then they’ve moved on to the next parent?
Total non issue
No dedicated key worker?
Not compliant with the EYFS

itsaboojum Thu 21-Nov-19 11:04:35

It might just be the way your post comes across, but your priorities seem rather odd. You appear overly worried about waving when you should be more properly concerned with the fundamental failings.

As the @insancerrehas explained, the handover is the time for your goodbyes. Once that is done, the staff's duty is to give their full attention to other families doing handover, and to care for the remaining children. They should not have to distracted by another round of goodbyes once parents have finished getting themselves ready to go out the door.

Lack of a key worker is the real serious issue here. It means nobody is taking responsibility for your child's care, learning, and communication with you. It is a fundamental breach of the childcare regulations.

Will you please expand on your comment that "most staff is untrained"? There are two ways of interpreting this. Either you are merely saying they aren’t as highly trained as you would like, or you are alleging they are not trained to the standards required by law. The latter situation would represent a serious breach of the childcare regulations, which would warrant Ofsted taking action. But I honestly don’t know how you could be sure of this fact without having gone through the staff's records and rotas.

Rosebel Sun 24-Nov-19 15:18:05

Saying goodbye or not is a non issue. Imagine they are doing your son's handover but have keep stopping to say goodbye to children they have already said it to. I don't think you would be very happy about that and other parents will feel the same.
The other issues need raising with the manager although I'm curious about how you know the staff are untrained.

simonisnotme Tue 10-Dec-19 21:21:22

saying goodbye is not in itself bad as such but how do you know the staff are untrained ? is it general knowledge or just something you think because they look too 'young' to have qualifications

BackforGood Tue 10-Dec-19 21:28:13

What itsaboojum said.
I too am wondering how you now know that staff aren't trained, but presumably didn't know this when you chose to leave your dc there.

user27495824 Tue 10-Dec-19 21:29:13

For comparrison, my son's nursery are quite strict with pick up time in a way I'm not familiar with from his siblings nurseries, (they ask you to give advanced warning if you want to pick up early) and they say this is so they can have the child ready for you. I suppose this is because the area by the front door is quite small and they don't want a line of parents and so you can have a one to one goodbye. My son makes a big deal of shouting bye as we leave, and his key worker will interrupt other nursery workers reading a story or doing other activities if my son is shouting goodbye to the room and anyone misses it! So it is definitely seen as important in my son's nursery and I don't think you are being precious.

Bluebutterfly90 Tue 10-Dec-19 21:30:52

Yeah, I would be asking about key workers and how they are tracking your childs learning journey without one.
The goodbye thing seems small but it's the small things that make a good childcare setting. Even if I had previously said goodbye to a child during a handover if they said it again while leaving I would say it again. It's just nice.
I'd probably be looking for another place. Unfortunately this kind of thing is usually down to bad management/unmotivated staff.

mrssillysausage Tue 10-Dec-19 21:33:09

Follow your gut OP!

timeforteea Tue 10-Dec-19 21:35:49

The small stuff IS the big stuff for the kids.
Speak to someone ASAP regarding key person.

Tatty101 Tue 10-Dec-19 21:36:22

The untrained bit is definitely more worrying! Aren't you concerned about leaving your child there if you are saying they aren't trained to the level required by law?

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