Arrangements for baby sent home from nursery

[levellersqq]

I'm looking for advice on what to do when our baby is sent home from nursery.

We have no family nearby and no-one to go pick our baby up when she is sent home. In 7 weeks we have already used up all our discretionary leave days at work and we're worried one of us will be putting our job at risk by leaving work again, so we need a plan B for when our baby is sent home. Is it common, for example, to have an arrangement with a childminder to go and pick up children from nursery when they are sent home in the middle of the day?

Any suggestions are welcome.

[Whynotnowbaby]

We would have had similar difficulties if our dc had been sent home. We were lucky that they weren’t. I think it is really difficult as a childminder is not going to take a sick child, especially if they have already been deemed to be too ill for nursery. Equally I can’t imagine many friends would be too keen on this either. My best friend might have taken dd in a pinch as she was a sahm for a while but I would have been loathe to ask her to do it more than once in a blue moon.

[Nicecupofcoco]

Hi op, do you mean sent home due to sickness?
I think if that's the case it's tricky to ask a childminder to collect for you, as childminder may have other children in her care,and obviously viruses can be passed on.
Not sure what else to suggest? A nanny? Do you have a family friend that would mind?
If your baby has only been at nursery for a short while then it's not unusual for them to pick up every little virus going, takes a while to build up the immune system. But your currently in the worst of it. Things will get better as your baby builds up a stronger immunity.

[cabbageking]

If it is an emergency then you use Dependants leave which is unpaid and can't be counted against you regarding attendance. It is specifically for emergences when baby is set home unwell.

[cabbageking]

Dependents even

[Africa2go]

Its the problem that most working parents have. Dependants' leave / unpaid leave / working from home / re-arranging your working day if you can.

[Pinkblueberry]

No advice I’m afraid, we’re in the same boat but luckily DS hasn’t been poorly that often. We use a childminder - it’s the same as a nursery setting in terms of sickness, they don’t look after poorly children, so I’m afraid having one to pick your DC up in that situation is probably not an option for you.

[GrumpyHoonMain]

Do you have a private school (ie a prep or similar) with a nursery attached to it? If so transfer to that. Private schools are designed for working parents and won’t send kids home unless they really have to.

[GleamInYourEyes]

A childminder won't collect a sick child.

Maybe you need an emergency nanny? But again they probably wouldn't take a child with D&V.
Babysitter, student, retired neighbour?

[LucieLucie]

Childminders work to the same Infection Control policies as nurseries and have to exclude for illness too.

Nurseries are full of germs and especially for a baby starting at a private nursery they often do pick up everything going.

You'd have less exposure to bugs with a childminder, perhaps think about switching but if he gets ill there you'd still need to collect.

[DonnaDarko]

If your child is too ill to be at nursery, they are too ill to be picked up by a child minder.

Have they just started at nursery? For the first month or so, DS was ill all the time but it got better once he got used to the 'new' germs.

[reefedsail]

Private schools are designed for working parents and won’t send kids home unless they really have to.

Total misconception. DS's prep school (well, the pre-prep) is very explicit about not wanting them in if they have a sniffle- or even if they are just tired. They throw in half days at the drop of a hat, don't do after school care if it's exeat and have mega-long holidays. The pre-prep is only workable for families with someone at home, on very compressed hours or a nanny. Bit different in the prep when days become long and dinner/ boarding is available.

[DinoGreen]

I have found from talking to friends that nurseries really differ in their sickness policies. Obviously D&V is universal and means they are sent home and 48 hours rule, but for other things, is your nursery being particularly over zealous? My friend’s nursery would send her DC home at the drop of a hat - sniffles, conjunctivitis, slightest temperature etc - whereas my DS’s nursery is a lot more flexible. Slight temp, they’ll give Calpol and see if it comes down before sending home, they don’t exclude for conjunctivitis and colds etc are fine as long as the child is well enough in themselves. If your nursery seems to be the first type, you might want to look for another one which is more flexible.

[GrumpyHoonMain]

@ reefedsail - that’s definitely not my experience in Buckinghamshire.

[NerrSnerr]

We are in the same boat. Once our carers leave is used up it's always a mixture of annual leave and unpaid leave for us. No childminder will take a child who has been sent home poorly as they may infect the other mindees. I find it goes in waves, you'll have a month or two where they're poorly all the time and then have a few months with nothing.

[Africa2go]

My friend’s nursery would send her DC home at the drop of a hat - sniffles, conjunctivitis, slightest temperature etc

But conjunctivitis isn't 'drop of a hat' - its really contagious.

[DinoGreen]

But conjunctivitis isn't 'drop of a hat' - its really contagious.

So are colds? NHS guidance says it isn’t necessary to send a child home with conjunctivitis.

[jannier]

All childcare settings nursery, private day care, childminder...have a duty to minimise spread of infection. Children who are too unwell to take part in a normal day need to go home, children who need 1 to 1 care need to go home, children relying on calpol need to go home. Some choose not to put the child or rules first becouse keeping fee paying parents happy is more important. It dosent make them a good setting seeing children distressed and crying for parents with a temperature and hearing managers say we will see how they are after lunch and a sleep rather than call parents as they wont like us is not nice for staff, the child or the other children.

[mankyfourthtoe]

A childminder won't collect a sick child.
However, as a childminder I would keep children who would have been sent home by a nursery. If they're not puking and I can control a temp, then if they need to sleep or watch tv (older) then they can stay as I know how hard it is being a parent.

[jannier]

@DinoGreen. Guidelines are minimum requirements written for all schools up to age 18. They do not consider the fact that young children mouth toys, rub eyes, dont wash hands before putting their fingers in each others mouths etc. They look instead at contagion with normal precautions like hand washing alongside risk to life. Many early years settings have more stringent rules becouse they recognise this even gps often forget and mean things are not contagious as in passing on to the adult with normal handwashing precautions.

[Expressedways]

If you think the nursery and sending them home needlessly i.e. just for a sniffle then I’d encourage you to talk to them and clarify their sickness policy.

If it’s something contagious e.g. sickness or a fever then the baby isn’t ok to be around other children and for that reason a childminder isn’t an option (not to mention good ones will be booked with full time kids).

If your jobs are that inflexible then I’d question whether a nursery is the right setting for your family- a nanny might be better as they’ll usually look after your DC even when they are unwell.

If your DC is also new to a childcare setting then it’s fairly typically for them to get everything going, it should hopefully get better as their immune system builds up though! And I feel your pain, we also have no family nearby and a 2YO at daycare. Fortunately we both have flexible jobs though.

[Apple40]

I am sorry but as a childminder. I would not collected a sick child from nursery, if I was not good enough to care for your child in the first place ,why would I go and collect them when they are sick ?

[ateallthecake]

Er if your child is sick you pick him or her up! Welcome to parenthood and difficulties that go hand in hand. Yes it's very difficult. Why do you think people end up leaving well paid jobs?

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

Annual leave, unpaid leave or work from home!
I appreciate it’s hard with work but a sick child needs to go home, no childminder will or should take them.

Kids are continually sick when they start nursery, it calms down

[Sweetooth92]

You are aware childminders have ratios and maximum numbers right?
Why on earth is any childminder going to keep a spare place incase it’s needed to fetch an unwell child. Who won’t know them and will not settle for them, when they could have a fully attending place who’s parents deemed them their first choice 🤦‍♀️

[SoyDora]

Do you genuinely think a childminder would keep a space open for you just in case your child is ill and need picking up from nursery? Missing out on a guaranteed income from a full time place?
This is the problem that all working parents have. It’s a case of juggling annual leave/dependents leave/help from family if really lucky.