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Settling in - please reassure me that this sounds ok.

(5 Posts)
birdybirdbird Thu 05-Sep-19 11:11:29

My LO, nearly 1, has been at nursery for a couple of weeks. He does 3 days 8.45-5.30, though I can often get him earlier on the third day. His key worker is lovely, really good at chatting to me at pick up. He’s always excited to get there in the morning, cries when DH actually leaves but he usually hears that he’s stopped before he gets back down stairs. They said that when he does get upset it’s usually whinging rather than actual crying and that he can be distracted from it easily with play. So that’s all really positive.
BUT, he’s not really napping there at all and only having about 45 mins in total (usually two naps totalling 2 hours plus at home). He will not go in their cots and is having to be held to sleep. I feel this is all my fault as I never pushed him napping in his cot at home - always napped in pram whilst out and about, in bouncer or next to me on sofa. He’s very wary of being around so many other children and the noise. This is my fault, I never really took him to groups so he’s just not used to it. When I pick him up he’s often being cuddled and just looks so tired. I feel so guilty that I didn’t ‘prepare’ him properly and I worry that he’s being a bit of a nightmare for them. I’m a teacher so am maybe trying to read between the lines too much when they tell me things.
Reassure me that this is completely normal? That he will get used to the noise of the other children and will start napping? And that nursery workers are really used to this sort of thing and aren’t thinking I’m terrible for not preparing him better?!

OP’s posts: |
jannier Thu 05-Sep-19 18:16:51

Give him time if hes only been going 2 weeks that 2 lots of 3 with 4 in between. Help him now by trying to support their sleep pattern have a look at gradual withdrawal as it's a much gentler way of doing it but dont feel guilty he will settle. I've had numerous children who develop a lovely sleep pattern usually in a few weeks eve if they dont follow it at home.

birdybirdbird Thu 05-Sep-19 19:22:43

Thank you. He generally settles really well in his cot at night with some shush patting for 10 mins or so (was previously rocked/fed to sleep) We always did very separate day time/night time sleep though and their sleep room is very dark so I guess it confuses him. We’ve really tried to get him in cot in the day but it’s just never taken and he’s so awful without naps that went with whatever worked!!
I think he’s just had some awful separation anxiety kick in too. He’s been hideous today (my day off) and DH has had an awful time settling him for night time sleep - I’ve never heard screaming like it. Aaaargh so much guilt being a parent confused

OP’s posts: |
Geneva1995 Mon 16-Sep-19 19:49:13

This is completely normal smile at my nursery this is the case with many children and they are not a nuisance. It’s our job! X

xSharonNeedlesx Mon 16-Sep-19 19:58:29

He will soon sort himself out. I left both my dds at nursery at 10months old, both breastfed to sleep when with me for the whole of their lives when they went to nursery.

Dd1 used to get rocked to sleep in a pushchair then after a little bit they tried laying her down on the mattress and she just went off like that, same for dd2.

Dd2 now, tells her nursery worker that she’s tired, they’ll pop her in a cot/on the mattress and she’s gone. When she’s with me, I have to drive round in the bloody car for a bit until she goes to sleep!

It might just take him a little while to get used to the noise/routine etc. Do they have a period of quiet time where they dim the lights etc and settle the children that do nap down on mattresses or similar?

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