Daughter was happy at old nursery, struggling to adapt to new one

(3 Posts)
RoseAdagio Thu 18-Jul-19 10:32:27

Please be gentle with me here as I'm finding this very hard.

We have recently moved house and unfortunately this meant we had to change nurseries as we have relocated. Our 16 month old daughter goes to nursery four days per week. At her old nursery, it took her a little while to adapt (not least learning to nap properly there without a boob or a pushchair to assist), but within not very long she was very happy there. I'm talking practically leaping out of our arms to greet the staff levels of happy.

Shes generally a very happy go lucky, sociable (read - loud) and energetic toddler. Not so at the new nursery though sadly.

I have no concerns re the place or the staff, who all seem lovely. In terms of facilities, it is actually better than the old one - great outdoor play area etc. But at her settling in sessions last week, she was uncharacteristically shy and looked forlorn when I left the room and watched on CCTV in the parents room. This is her first full week, and she has cried every pick up and drop off. Apparently her crying at drop off is no more than a minute, but at two of the pick ups she had been crying for 20-30 minutes, partly because she had seen the other older babies had all been picked up and she was the last one there. 😪 Sadly due to my work hours and work location, I am limited in what I can do about this, but I have requested a job swap which will enable me to change office and be nearer here so I can get there earlier.

Yesterday was a bit better, she only cried when she first saw me at pick up, having been fine up until then. Tears again this morning though, and I just rang to find our how she was getting on, apparently she had been fine but was crying again now they have come in from the garden.

They have personalised laminated place mats to eat on with their photos on. They obviously took her photo on her first day. She is crying in it. 😪

I have tried staying with her for a little bit when I first get there to try to settle her rather than just handing her over and dashing because I would rather she not be crying at the point where I leave. This morning she cried when we first arrived, but then didn't when I left the room, so I'm calling that progress at least. But she still looked pretty miserable tbh.

I'm looking for any advice on how to ease her transition and speed up the process of her being happy with her new setting, and any experiences anyone else has had of changing nurseries and how long it took your kids to adapt. Overall the move is a very positive one for us, she has a much nicer bigger house now with a garden she can play in at last, a good school down the road that she should get into, so I dont feel guilty about the move per se, but I do feel terrible guilt about the nursery change because she was so happy in the old one and seems unhappy now.😪 She is mostly her normal happy self at home though, teething aside.

Apologies for the essay.

Xxx

OP’s posts: |
WelcomeToGreenvale Thu 18-Jul-19 20:09:06

It's her first week! She's in a new place with unfamiliar people, it's totally normal and understandable that she's unsettled and feeling unhappy. Please give her time. That's all she needs. Time to get used to the big change in her life.

Also please don't stay with her for long at dropoff, in my experience that only makes things worse - she knows you'll be leaving soon no matter what, staying will only prolong the upset. It's good that you can call to assuage your worries about her.

I promise she'll be fine. smile

Curlytop1 Thu 18-Jul-19 22:58:24

Top tips

1.leave pretty quick at drop off
2. Know that the tears when you pick her up is a release. At this age, they have no concept of time. So once you are gone...you are gone. The rush of emotion overwhelms her.

She will settle.
I moved my son just after he turned 2
3 months later he now only cries once or twice a week at drop off and he runs to me happy and excited at pick up

Ask nursery to take pics for you.
Assume you have a daily diary.

Does she have a comforter?

With my 1st, she went in with a hard back book filled with family photos so she could look at me anytime she needed.

This helped her settle loads.

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