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Mortified with my choose of nursery 😢

(22 Posts)
Aimzvickers Fri 03-May-19 22:55:01

Never felt to ask for any help here before but I am literally mortified, heartbroken and distressed esp as I cannot contact the nursery until Tuesday now being a bank holiday weekend.

I don’t know where else to turn. 😢

So my 2 year old son only recently started & attends nursery 1 day a week each Friday.

He is the happiest little boy and just generally goes with the flow and is very content little boy.

In short since he has attended I have collected him to find cuts, bruises & bumps which are unexplained by the staff as they never seem to know how it happed! One worker said “I just heard a thud” with regards to one lump to his head. He is filthy dirty ( I don’t expect him to be totally clean with being at nursery) but this is the filth of an unkept child sort of filth! Dirt imbedded between his fingers sort of dirt.
His nappies smell a very strong smell of urine which you obtain through dehydration. Today he gulped two whole bottles of water when getting him into my car.
When he falls asleep afterwards (because he is never settled for a nap) he wakes up screaming and crying in distress all throughout the night. (He never does this normally ever)
I’m soo upset with the fact that I believe he is being neglected.
I really don’t know where to turn.

Of course he is never going back ever! I am even handing in notice at work because I cannot leave him there another minute!
I’m truly beating myself up here with the fact that I had chosen what I thought was an outstanding nursery according to Ofsted. I feel I’ve let me son down.
I really cant sleep with the thought of any child being treated in this way.

OP’s posts: |
TheBulb Fri 03-May-19 22:59:35

Have you never queried the dirt or dehydration face to face with his key worker at pick-up? Why has it suddenly begun to upset you so much at this hour of the night when you can’t contact the nursery?

Ceebs85 Fri 03-May-19 23:04:49

If all these things are ongoing problems why has it not been addressed already?

slappinthebass Fri 03-May-19 23:05:59

I picked my son up last week with an almost black face and thick dirt embedded into his nails. My only reaction was feeling pleased they must have been doing some gardening or messy play involving compost. The grubbier he gets the better imo. Means I don't have to organise as much sensory play activities at home.

Thirst wise... I do find nurserys often neglect to take off children's jumpers if they don't ask for help. I have picked up my flushed face children lots of times and this is from several nurseries and schools. They can also be so busy playing they forget to drink. The bruises and bumps I'd just assume was from physical play, but they should be reassuring you and providing notes. That does sound odd. It's always best to trust your instincts in any case.... unless you have a tendancy to be over anxious?

Singlenotsingle Fri 03-May-19 23:07:48

How has he got dirt under his nails? Do they do outdoor play?

TildaTurnip Fri 03-May-19 23:09:41

This doesn’t sound ok and I would do what you have and not send him back there and give a written reason why.

jonsnowlowblow Fri 03-May-19 23:11:09

Handing your notice in at work? Before even attempting to solve the issues with Nursery or find alternative childcare?

Surfingtheweb Fri 03-May-19 23:13:52

Don't hand your notice in, take unpaid parental leave & find yourself a childminder or a better nursery. Hugs, that's really horrible, but you weren't to know.x

Aimzvickers Fri 03-May-19 23:44:03

He has only attended a few times. The last time I wasn’t to impressed but gave the benefit of the doubt being a new setting for him. Today my friend collected him for me and in her words “I nearly cried when I saw him” he had sick over his shoe (not his!)
My friend was asked for a password to collect him but was asked for it with the question “is it “bla bla?”
Which was the wrong password anyhow.

My friend asked if he’d had a nose bleed because of the dried blood on his face under his nose. The staff replied with “oh Yh, I think so”
This was yet another cut.
After seeing him myself my heart hurts to think what sort of care I have left him in.

OP’s posts: |
Aimzvickers Fri 03-May-19 23:46:47

Today he has a lumb on the back of his head, three grazes across his forehead, cheek, cut eyebrow and a cut nose.

OP’s posts: |
purpleme12 Fri 03-May-19 23:50:18

I think you need to at least confront it and deal with it before you make any decisions

Singlenotsingle Fri 03-May-19 23:50:43

Sounds like you need to complain to the CQC. Take some photos of the cuts

Scanon Fri 03-May-19 23:52:55

In your position, i'd research who to report the nursery to, with safeguarding concerns. Awful. Don't blame yourself, you've picked up on the signs early, and you're taking action.

MintyT Sat 04-May-19 06:06:12

Don't give up work, find a childminder or another nursery. Over this weekend list your concerns and his injuries. On Tuesday ask for a meeting with the owner/manager and be factual with you concerns and make an official complaint. I'm sorry for you and your little boy

CherryPavlova Sat 04-May-19 06:26:45

Singlenotsingle. It would be Ofsted not CQC.

Sculpin Sat 04-May-19 06:31:54

Don't resign from your job OP! Just find another nursery or a childminder. Most aren't like this.

BiscuitDrama Sat 04-May-19 06:32:49

Was any explanation given for all today’s injuries?

Brightlightsbigcity Sat 04-May-19 06:42:59

If he's only attended a few times, is it likely he is running round a lot more than usual (there being more kids to play with) and therefore having more accidents than usual?
What do the other kids look like? Same levels of dirt and grazes on one's of the same age? 2 is still a clumsy age.
It took my DC ages to settle into nursery, and they were going three/four days a week, not just once. If he's not a wildly out going and independent kid to begin with, this could be why he's unsettled. Or it may be totally unrelated!
It's very unlikely that a nursery with an outstanding ofsted rating would be neglecting children.

BiscuitDrama Sat 04-May-19 07:10:07

Bump on head should be explained on pick up, as a minimum.

Moominfan Sat 04-May-19 07:16:43

Op don't resign.any marks should be skin mapped and documented. Start writing stuff down and photos. Find new child care and report

simonisnotme Sun 05-May-19 14:57:11

dont resign, go to the nursery and speak to the manager, find out facts he should not be that filthy , blood, scratches and sick over his shoes is a major concern especially if the staff dont know how and why
then report to the local authority, and ofsted

StealthPolarBear Sun 05-May-19 15:00:07

They are awful! are they part of a chain?

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