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AIBU to not be happy told of for 5minutes early??

(30 Posts)
JenLaBe Wed 06-Feb-19 10:43:12


Just want some feedback and different perspectives.
So, I have dropped my LO this morning in nursery 5min earlier than his time and been told of by the deputy manager. I honestly went away fuming.
I showed her my phone with the time on it and said that it isn't 15 or 30minutes but 5minutes. She talked about her ratios and how the number of kids per staff is important. It is, I am not denying it...but surely as it is to manage well your staff and have them all ready in their room to welcome children at rush time??
How on earth can I know how the traffic will be or how many green light will I have? And this is what ennoyed me...I specifically asked when choosing nursery if there was a 5minutes flexibility and she said yes!
Worse...she said"it is my fault, I let you in but you were too early"??!!!what??!! Will you keep me out for 5minutes then?
She answered that some nurseries do. 😰

OP’s posts: |
SmackthePhony Wed 06-Feb-19 10:47:01

Yes they do. When I do drop off we wait if we are early. It’s no big deal. They stagger the start times because of staff, ratios etc. That’s the rule for everyone.

SweetAngie Wed 06-Feb-19 10:47:05

Yes, she should’t have let you in. If she had done it without ‘telling you off’ then maybe you’d have decided that another 5 minutes wouldn’t make any difference and you’d try to drop off ten minutes early instead...

There has to be a cut off. You can wait in the car til it’s time.

BeardofZeus Wed 06-Feb-19 10:48:28

YABU. You wouldn’t expect a supermarket to open 5 minutes early for example ... why couldn’t you have waited for the five minutes? And with regards the flex - they probably meant it doesn’t have to be on the dot. However letting you in to then tell you off is a bit ridiculous.

punishmepunisher Wed 06-Feb-19 10:49:25

A lot of nurseries charge a small penalty for 5-10 mins early drop/late pick up. Or don't open the doors until bang on time.

In theory it doesn't sound like much but over a month it can add up to hours of unpaid care. It's not like school.

Could you not wait in the car?

NotAnotherUserName5 Wed 06-Feb-19 10:52:38

You inevitably get that one CF parent who pushes the boundaries though. Wanting an extra 5 or 10 minutes earlier for free.

Se’s probably learned from experience she has to be firm even towards anyone early.

UghFletcher Wed 06-Feb-19 10:52:59

Oh give over OP

Nurseries do have ratios and rules. Ours doesn't open early for any drop offs as if you give people an inch they take a mile. It may start off as 5 mins then before you know it, people are turning up 10-15 mins early and expecting the same.

I can't say what traffic will be like in the mornings but if I'm there early then we wait in the car like normal people and don't throw toys out of the pram.

JenLaBe Wed 06-Feb-19 10:54:00

Sorry for misconstruction as I talked about green lights.
So we are going in push and we have to cross a few junctions which are a bit of a nightmare... I try my best to go last minute from home but then when all is clear and easy I do end up with 5minute early.

Also I take the push in, so destrapping then go upstairs (I am 5+months preggo so it does take a few minutes for me to do so) and then leave instructions for the day to staff. It does take normally 5-10minutes all in all. Today was really fast too.

OP’s posts: |
TrotEsio Wed 06-Feb-19 10:55:37

Nursery completely correct IMO.

SmackthePhony Wed 06-Feb-19 12:06:57

You leave instructions for the day to the qualified nursery staff?

I bet they love you hmm

Invisimamma Wed 06-Feb-19 12:17:34

Sometimes we arrive early for nursery. We wait in the car park until it's 8am then I take him in. It's not that difficult. I haven't paid before 8am so we can't arrive before that.

Some people pay an extra £10 for a 7:30am start and I bet they'd be annoyed if others started getting 5mins here and there for free. Plus ratios...

JenLaBe Wed 06-Feb-19 12:54:09

Thanks for your reply,
I did talk to the deputy manager and she explained the restraints are actually mostly due to three staff being sick at the moment. But that the occasional 5minutes leeway is still actual.

As it is something I checked beforehand, I don't think I was doing anything wrong... being told off then?? Well... but thanks to all smile I understand many other nurseries can work differently though.

And yes I do leave small instructions such as : we started working on the fork, he needs this snuffle cream just before sleeping etc. And they do appreciate and even ask for parents to continue parenting ;) I also collect their comments on how my lo did and appreciate their input.

Have all a good day!

OP’s posts: |
sollyfromsurrey Wed 06-Feb-19 14:28:52

I'm not sure why you can't just wait a few minutes before entering?

Lazypuppy Wed 06-Feb-19 18:53:51

I'm early most morningsso just sit in car park until 7:30 when dd session starts and take her in

jannier Thu 07-Feb-19 23:03:14

Why does being pregnant make a difference? You certainly wouldn't be let in early at school and often you will turn up to collect and they will come out late even if your stood in the rain on a winters day with a just potty trained toddler and 8 months pregnant.
By telling off do you mean she was rude or just explained why she does not want you early tomorrow?

SciFiScream Thu 07-Feb-19 23:11:09

It might also have something to do with their insurance. Older children in this example but we cannot be in the breakfast club before 7:50 am. Insurance not active.
I just time it to be there after 7:51 and all's good.

BackforGood Fri 08-Feb-19 00:04:39

The ratios are important - as you concede, but they aren't "just" important - they are crucial. Nurseries operating outside their ratios is instantly OFSTED reportable. They just can't do it.

Cherrysherbet Fri 08-Feb-19 06:02:28

If you don’t think 5 mins should matter to them, why should waiting 5 mins matter to you??? Ffs just be patient, and respectful to those caring for your child. YABVU.

NerrSnerr Fri 08-Feb-19 06:28:08

Just wait until the time you're supposed to drop them off! Being pregnant doesn't make you a special case.

Redcrayonisthebest Fri 08-Feb-19 06:29:36

I've sat in the car filling in time with my ds at some point with every childcare setting he's attended. It's totally normal to have to wait a few minutes. I've also worked in nursery and studiously avoided the doors for those ten minutes before opening because there's always a few parents who think their little one should be allowed to come in early (and if you let them it'd get earlier and earlier)
They're busy setting up and preparing for the day so give them a break op.

user1493413286 Fri 08-Feb-19 06:31:32

Sorry but I wait in my car if I’m 5 minutes early for the childminder as it’s not time I’ve paid for however they shouldn’t have said there was flexibility if there wasn’t

itsboiledeggsagain Fri 08-Feb-19 06:35:51

I op I suspect English is not your first language and people appear to be giving out to you because of that. Yes we all have a chat with the nursery at drop off with anything they need to know.

However I also agree that yes it is normal to wait outside until the clock is bang on and then in you go. Sometimes I am desperate to get to a work meeting so am twitching impatiently but there you go.

AuntieStella Fri 08-Feb-19 06:42:50


yes, you need to allow the extra time - just like everyone does - to allow for uncertainties of the journey

Then you wait with your DC until the nursery is open.

Just like everyone else does.

I do however agree that one can feel surprisingly upset and angry when one is told off as an adult. That does not mean however that the cause of telling off was wrong.

unicorncupcake Fri 08-Feb-19 06:46:56

Ds used to go to a childminder. I booked her every single day from 7am, even though I never dropped him off till 7.15. Was just easier knowing that if I was 5 mins early it wouldn’t be a problem. When ds went to nursery and we started st 7.30, i’d regularly be early and wait in the car until dead on time.

MaisyPops Fri 08-Feb-19 06:51:29

There's telling off and telling an adult that something isn't right and they are different.

It sounds like you went in early and when someone said about being too early, instead of saying 'sorry about that, thanks for letting me in to wait', you got your phone out and started arguing about how it was just 5 minutes, not 10-15 minutes. At this point the person decides it's probably their fault for letting you in really as a good will gesture so made aware that most nurseries aren't happy about people dropping off early.
It doesn't seem like a telling off to me, more a member of nursery staff responding to a parent who has been arguing about how early is early.

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