11 hour days...

[isshoes]

Am due to return to work in a few weeks, at which time DS will be 11.5 months. I am planning to work three long days a week. Because I have an hour commute each way, and because of traffic, I can’t figure out a way to avoid DS being in nursery for 11 hour days. I will be dropping him off and DH will be collecting him. There is no flexibility in when DH can leave work, and because of my commute, and rush hour traffic, it just doesn’t seem to make sense for me to work shorter hours, especially because of the financial loss of working even a few hours less. My employer is not flexible about working from home on a regular basis, and also they don’t consider it feasible to work from home and care for a child at the same time (which I do understand), so I can’t work shorter days and make up the hours at home.

Anyway I guess my concern is that 11 hour days will be too long for DS. I really like the nursery but they don’t have a separate sleep room, just a separate sleep area. I gather from other threads that this isn’t ideal.

I suppose I’m just looking for reassurance really that it will be OK? I’ll be looking for work closer to home, but what I do is pretty niche, and the chances of finding something part-time and for similar money are slim to none...

[PuffedupPufferFish]

My DD started nursery at a similar age (she is now 2) and does 3 10-11 hour days. I figured that was probably preferable to the alternative of doing 4/5 (slightly) shorter days. The baby room was pretty quiet and sleeping space was just in the same area, now she is in the toddlers room it is much noisier so they have a separate sleeping area.

TBH, she's never slept as well at nursery but she has just adapted her sleep patterns. It took a while for us all to get used to it but now it's fine. She is pretty knackered when she gets home but we all get in about 6.15 so we normally have 15 minutes quiet playing/reading then it's up to bed! We do her a shower nursery nights as that's much quicker. She also has much longer naps on our days off to compensate (she's over 2 and will still have a 2-3 hour nap on my day off!). I assume they will give your DS an evening meal so you can get him off to bed pretty quick once your in?

Honestly, I think they are pretty adaptable at this age - he will be fine! Might be a difficult first month but he'll just need to find a new routine. I struggled being at home 5 days on my maternity, but I love my 2 week days off with her, plus weekend.

I had loads of annual leave left over from my maternity leave so over the first 6 months I used that up, which allowed my to do a few two day weeks when she seemed particularly tired. Maybe you could consider this? I have a friend where both parents worked shifts so sometimes their DS did 3 long days, and sometimes he did 5 half days. She said the 5 half days were a nightmare for getting into a routine, and she much preferred 3 long days.

[isshoes]

Thanks for your reply. Sounds like your situation was very similar to mine, and it’s reassuring.

Unfortunately I won’t be getting in until around 19:30 on my working days, but DS currently goes to bed very late (around 10pm) and whilst I think that will come forwards when he’s at nursery, I don’t imagine it will be that early, so perhaps I’ll be home in time for a quick bath before bed.

I’ll be using annual leave to work part-time for the first seven months when I go back, before applying to change my contract, so yes I could possibly use some more of it to cut down to two days a week if need be.

Thanks again for your comments!

[FurryGiraffe]

Mine both started at 10 months and did 10.5 hour days- so fairly similar. No separate room for sleeping: they had cots in a particular area of the baby room. Both of them slept fine at nursery once properly settled.

I really wouldn't worry too much. Long days are common and it quickly becomes normal. Mine certainly had lots of downtime during the day where they pottered and looked at books: it's not all structured activity.

[isshoes]

Thanks @FurryGiraffe. It’s good to hear from other people who’ve had similar arrangements.

[HSMMaCM]

Children come to me for 10 hours a day and they're fine.

They get rest times and bust times just like they would at home.

Don't worry about it.

[jannier]

I have one family arrive at mine at 7am and leave at 6pm (childminder) the eldest started at 6 months and his sister joined him at the same age. They look on mine like visiting family come in and make themselves comfortable. The eldest is now 11 and youngest 7 they are very happy secure children.

[Applesaregreenandred]

Perhaps it would be a good idea to start bringing your baby's bed time forward gradually in preparation for the new times when you are working.

It's a long time back now but I used to pick DS from nursery at 6.00, sometimes we'd do snack, bath and story but other times he would be sleeping in the car, I'd do quick nappy change then he'd sleep through.