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will she settle?

(10 Posts)
dcb Wed 27-Jun-07 14:03:00

dd is nearly 12 months and i think sep anxiety has just kicked in in the last week. we've started nursery visits and she's been 4 times now. to start with i just stayed with he for an hr then we'd go. then i left her for short periods - y'day it was 30 mins and she was in a real state until i got back. i've got 2 more visits this week where i'll try and leave her again and then she starts 2 days a week fron next week. i've got 3.5 weeks til i go back to work. i just can't see she'll ever be able to manage a whole day? how long has it taken with others?

i know everyone thinks their child is always the loudest - but she really does scream and get herself in a right old pickle. i feel terrible but know it's got to be done as i really need to get back to work. is 3.5 weeks enough time? the nursery staff say it is but i don't know if they're just saying that.

thanks

Wendyjayb Wed 27-Jun-07 14:08:53

Hand on heart, she will settle. My lo started nursery at 7 months old full time and was fine until 3 weeks ago as he's now gone into the toddler room. Every morning he would sob and i'd spend 5 mins outside crying myslef . Now he makes a few noises just for effect, but the min he can't see me he's fine.
Really hope dd settles soon for you xx

allthatglisters Wed 27-Jun-07 18:00:02

Child I childmind has been very clingy - could not step away from him without him crying! However it stopped really quite suddenly at 13 months and he became a confident little boy.

dcb Thu 28-Jun-07 20:15:15

today was awful. she cried as soon as i started to leave and didn't really stop apart from momentarily. she was supposede to be having lunch but was too upset and just threw it around/rubbed it into her hair. it was only an hour. we're doing the same tomorrow and monday but i can't see it getting any better. will it??

SydneyB Fri 29-Jun-07 15:13:18

dcb, know my DD is much younger than yours but have just finished 3 weeks of settling with DD, 7 months. first 2 weeks i just could not see any way she'd ever settle but she is absolutely FINE now. apparently, it is very rare for them never to settle. they are really much better once you've gone and they can't see you... hang in there

SydneyB Fri 29-Jun-07 15:14:41

Also, meant to say that I found it much worse (and I think so did she) when i was there with her for the settling in. Once I'd gone I think she kind of could just get on with it without the added confusion of mummy being there if ykwim.

nurseryvoice Fri 29-Jun-07 16:12:23

We find if they are going to have trouble settling in, then it seems to always take around 3 weeks. Then all of a sudden they stop crying and smile when they come.
It is hard and I feel for you, but it will get better.

dcb Sat 30-Jun-07 10:37:41

thanks everyone. y'day was a bit better so here's hoping.

Wendyjayb Sat 30-Jun-07 11:28:10

Glad things seem better xx

MellowMa Sat 30-Jun-07 11:31:12

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