(11 Posts)
Amandacrook25 Thu 06-Dec-18 17:26:16

Bit new to this. But I need help I am suffering massively with mum guilt. I have two daughter one is 10 the other is 2. I have just been offered a new job and it’s full time. It’s an amazing opportunity. Me and my partner have both had a lot of bad luck recently and have both been offered jobs starting January. This feels like a massive turning point. But the thought of sending my youngest full time nursery 7:45-6pm is filling me with guilt. I stayed off work until my eldest was in full time school so had a long break with her. So that adds to the guilt as my youngest isn’t going to get that. Am I bein evil and abandoning her? Is it too much? I’m really struggling.
Thank you

OP’s posts: |
Xmasbaby11 Thu 06-Dec-18 17:30:35

It's not too young. Dd started full time at 8 months old, although only 8-5. She loved it and was fine. However from age 2 she was only in 3 days a week as I reduced my hours when dd2 was born.

I can understand some parents wouldn't choose ft nursery - only you can decide what will suit you and your family best.

Sashkin Thu 06-Dec-18 17:30:58

DS is 20months and is in full time nursery. It is a lot. He doesn’t seem bothered (loves it there as far as I can tell, runs in in the morning and seems cheerful enough when I pick him up). But I hate it, and will be looking for PT work as soon as I can. I pick him up early whenever I can, and take any excuse to keep him off.

Topseyt Thu 06-Dec-18 17:33:06

When my DD1 was three months old (23 years ago now) I had to go back to work. She went into full time nursery and there she stayed until DD2 was due and I went on maternity leave.

You might have to ease a two year old into it if they are the clingy sort, but most are fine. You'd probably regret not taking the job.

Parker231 Thu 06-Dec-18 17:36:09

My DT’s went full time from six months along with all the babies I know as we all went back to work, our careers wouldn’t be there if we took any longer.

DT’s loved it and stayed there until they started school.

Amandacrook25 Thu 06-Dec-18 17:37:23

Thank you all for your comments and opinions. I think it’s something I’m just going to have to try. If it doesn’t work it doesn’t work and I’ll reduce my hours. We really need this. I just don’t want her to feel abandoned. We did view a couple of nurseries a couple months back and she seemed quite happy to go and play. Maybe it is more my insecurities. It’s just so long. Xx

OP’s posts: |
Sashkin Thu 06-Dec-18 18:12:19

If you can find a nursery that offers something that you can’t do, that might help with the Mum-guilt (you shouldn’t feel guilty! But I think most people do, at least a bit).

We don’t have a garden so we picked somewhere with lots of outside space and physical activities. And messy play, which is really not my thing! grin

DS is also learning about sharing and playing together. He’s pretty awful in that regard (tends to thump kids who take his toys) so I’m glad he’s having lots of opportunities to practise now when it is sweet, rather than aged 5 when it will be obnoxious.


jannier Sun 09-Dec-18 15:45:31

If you prefer a more homely feeling where little one is cared for by the same adult every day why not consider a childminder? They are regulated and inspected by the same body (Ofsted) and work to the same standards (EYFS) but on a smaller scale. Some will have an assistant or co minder but you always know who is with your Lo and can keep up to date very easily with how lo is doing, many will be very flexible on settling in and send photos through the day. If you choose the right one your sorted right through to the end of primary school.

Toni382 Tue 11-Dec-18 16:44:51

My little one started at 8 months. She is now 18 months and loves it and is thriving. She has CF and a cleft palate, so I felt a bit concerned, but the nursery are great.

Tumbleweed101 Sun 16-Dec-18 12:37:42

Our full timers enjoy themselves but do get very tired by thurs/fri.

Make sure your nursery is able to offer naps and down time for part of the day.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 16-Dec-18 12:58:03

Will you get a full time space for January? Settling in sessions should be starting sometime now. Usually (at least round here) it's two weeks before the start date but there is Christmas break in between which I guess complicates things a bit?

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