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Would you say something?

(17 Posts)
gothefcktosleep Wed 31-Oct-18 09:51:19

My DD (5mos) had her second settling in day yesterday at nursery. It’s the best nursery in our town and I was very happy with the choice. Friends have their children there too.

DD is a bit of a bugger with her sleep, having taken almost every nap of her life so far on me. We hoped the nursery would help with sleeping independently. When I explained to the manager that DD only sleeps on people she seemed totally unfazed and said at least at nursery they have many hands.

Yesterday when I went to collect her I was told that she’d slept for 40 minutes. Which is great for her, about the longest she will sleep as a nap. I asked if that was in someone’s arms or on her back and I was told it was on her tummy.

Obviously I am FTM and she is the PFB but I felt slightly weirded out by the whole thing. Her neck is very strong and she’s good at pushing herself up but would you say you weren’t comfortable with this if it was your child? I feel a bit conflicted as of course I want her to sleep and I know she’s watched during her nap but.... I didn’t think sleeping on her front was okay? She’s literally just turned 5 months.

I’m really in two minds about it.

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mnahmnah Wed 31-Oct-18 09:57:04

At that age both of mine were turning themselves onto their front. I would move them back onto their back, but next time I checked they would be on their front again! I couldn’t go in all night, so decided to just accept they slept better that way. If they’re capable of turning over, lifting head etc and there are no hazards in the cot, I would accept it.

RainbowsArePretty Wed 31-Oct-18 10:25:04

Sound that age I was paranoid about safe sleep still, however DS regularly rolled onto his tummy! He was always supervised at naps and slept in our room during the night. I would roll him onto his back.

RainbowsArePretty Wed 31-Oct-18 10:25:39

Sorry 'around' not 'sound'

SD1978 Wed 31-Oct-18 10:26:58

Does your child roll? Is nap time supervised? At 5 months, I'd have less of an issue- they are not a newborn.

gothefcktosleep Wed 31-Oct-18 11:32:50

She rolls both ways... but I co sleep with her at night so never experienced her rolling herself on to her front during sleep so that’s why I was a bit nervous.

Really good to hear the thoughts of others as it boggles at me but wasn’t sure if I was being unnecessarily worried. Thanks all.

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gothefcktosleep Wed 31-Oct-18 11:33:16

*niggled not boggles

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HSMMaCM Wed 31-Oct-18 13:22:27

I had a 5 month old settling today. I put her down on her back and she rolled onto her tummy - more or less in the recovery position. I kept a close eye on her. If asked, I would say she slept on her tummy. Maybe your DD was put down on her back? Just ask them. They won't mind.

Tumbleweed101 Thu 01-Nov-18 19:27:51

My babies all slept on their tummies pretty much from newborn as they settled far better. At five months she should be ok as can move position independently. In a nursery they should be checking they are ok on a regular basis whilst they are sleeping too.

Orlande Thu 01-Nov-18 22:16:23

I would check that nursery are putting her down on her tummy and staying with her for naps. They may not be used to having babies under 6 months and not know safe sleep guidelines.

Orlande Thu 01-Nov-18 22:16:51

I mean putting her down on her back.

itsaboojum Fri 02-Nov-18 08:22:49

Perhaps the nursery manager was wrong to imply baby would always be able to sleep on a member of staff. It’s not unusual for nursery managers to say whatever they think will be well-received by potentially anxious mums. And it’s fairly typical of British managers to be too far detached from the actual hands-on work that they are oblivious of what is practicable with the available resources.

But realistically, what did you expect? They almost certainly don’t have the staff numbers to support babies on a one-to-one basis.

Moreover, your baby has been habituated to sleeping on her front for her whole life to date, so why should she suddenly realise she’s supposed to start sleeping on her back?

gothefcktosleep Sat 03-Nov-18 22:44:29

Perhaps the nursery manager was wrong to imply baby would always be able to sleep on a member of staff. It’s not unusual for nursery managers to say whatever they think will be well-received by potentially anxious mums. And it’s fairly typical of British managers to be too far detached from the actual hands-on work that they are oblivious of what is practicable with the available resources.

-> she’s South African. But you have a valid point.

But realistically, what did you expect? They almost certainly don’t have the staff numbers to support babies on a one-to-one basis.

-> they do have the numbers to support 1:1 ratio, that’s what their ratio is for babies under one. you ask what we expected: we actually expected her to be put on her back and them to be wizards. I had been led to believe this from Nuserylore. Her side would have been okay too.

Moreover, your baby has been habituated to sleeping on her front for her whole life to date, so why should she suddenly realise she’s supposed to start sleeping on her back?
-> she sleeps on her back next to me when we co-sleep. So I know she can and does.

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itsaboojum Sun 04-Nov-18 09:17:42

Thanks for those clarifications. In the light of which, I’d say it would be perfectly reasonable to raise the matter with nursery.

Irrespective of whatever anyone thinks about 'safe sleeping', they’ve made assurances which they’re delivering on. All mums using childcare need to know they have trust, not just a manager who says whatever parents want to hear. Good communication from the start is key, as childcare arrangements frequently break down over differing expectations.

itsaboojum Sun 04-Nov-18 09:31:28

I’d be wary of claims of 1-1 ratios. Regulations allow adult-child ratios to be assessed across the entire nursery, so you’ve no guarantee of 1-1 in any one room at any given time.

It would be phenomenally expensive to deliver 1-1 care to even the most basic standard. Even on minimum living wage rates, a staffer would cost the nursery around £10ph (factoring in NI, pension, recruitment, training, agency cover for absences, etc.) That’s completely unsustainable unless parents are paying something like £15ph for the place.

The alternative is they fill the nursery with inexperienced school-leavers on the so-called 'apprenticeship' schemes. Even that approach comes at a cost.

If they do happen to have found some miraculous formula for providing 1-1 care without going out of business, then it doesn’t appear to be achieving much in terms of fulfilling the manager's promises.

itsaboojum Sun 04-Nov-18 09:33:20

Correction.

My earlier post should have read, "they’ve made assurances they’re not delivering on."

Lazypuppy Tue 06-Nov-18 19:45:57

I've never seen a nursery that's 1:1ratio.

Also, if baby can roll, its fine to sleep on her tummy

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