My 18 month old daughter has been going to nursery for 3.5 days a week for 2 months now and to me, seems happy and to be benefitting from the experience (confidence growing, interacting with peers). I’m back at work full time and my mum looks after her the other 1.5 days.
My mum has told me recently that she thinks my daughter is miserable, misses me so much that it’s “tragic” and is causing her sleep problems (which I think is down to the multiple viruses she’s had since starting) and that she can’t believe I can even consider this arrangement long term (I’m on a fixed term contract until Christmas but may have the option to extend, which I’d like to do). I told her how upsetting her comments were and her response was that “it’s not about you”.
I feel really backed into a corner- she criticised me for having a weekend away with friends last weekend and I feel unable to spend any time I away from my daughter now outside of work... she’s basing her opinion on nursery photos (me and my husband see as her enjoying herself, she interprets the photos as my daughter looking miserable) and her clingy behaviour to me and recent sleep problems. Comparing her to other babies her age, they seem to be going through the same clinginess and change in sleep regardless of how much time they’re spending with their mum so I disagree that it’s to do with missing me. I feel like she’s really overstepped a line in terms of criticising our parenting and childcare decisions but as she’s made it clear that my feelings aren’t of concern here, I really don’t know how to approach the situation. It’s planted a seed of doubt for me and my husband that we aren’t doing the right thing by my daughter and I’m annoyed that form my perspective, she’s making a positive situation into a source of anxiety and conflict. Anyone experienced anything similar and have any words of wisdom? Am I wrong for going back to work full time? Apart from anything else this is upsetting as normally me and my mum are really close, but frankly she’s been pretty mean about this.
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My mum criticising childcare choices
15 replies
40winksplease · 29/10/2018 13:40
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