Having a wobble about DS 8 mo starting nursery tomorrow

(17 Posts)
jitterbug5 Thu 21-Jun-18 20:54:46

And by wobble I mean crying hysterically and thinking of every possible way I can cancel my shift and nursery altogether sad

He had his trial this morning for an hour and he seemed ok - apparently there were few tears to begin with but he soon stopped, and then a few more half way through but that's all. He seemed happy when I got him back, and I felt quite relaxed about it!

However DH hasn't seen the nursery yet so he asked to have a look round after work. We went in and put DS down who seemed to panic straight away that we were leaving and started crying/reaching out for us.

I'm now convinced I'm making a terrible mistake. I feel like he thinks we'll be abandoning him 😓 my shift at work is 6 hours so he'll be there for 6 1/2 hours altogether and I've worked myself up into a frenzy he's too young! I need reassurance sad

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Pebblespony Thu 21-Jun-18 20:57:17

He'll prob be fine. Everyone worries like this. Our lady is starting soon and I've made DH take the day off so he can drop her as I know I'll be a blubbering mess. Try not to let him see your anxiety. Be fake upbeat! Then go to your car and have a good cry. Good luck!

flamingofridays Thu 21-Jun-18 20:58:41

He'll be fine. I was exactly the same with ds. He was 9 months and I worried about him all day. He had cried in the morning for a few minutes and then was fine because he was occupied and cared for. He's 2 now and he absolutely loves nursery.

moreismore Thu 21-Jun-18 21:01:22

I totally understand how you feel but he will honestly be fine. My DS started at exactly the same age and the upshot is we’ve never had an extended period of him hating nursery/separation anxiety as he’s done it from so young.
I’d imagine the issue this evening was that it was the evening! He will be a new child again tomorrow after some sleep.
Final soothing thought: how much do you remember about being 8 months old? Absolute worst case he cries as you leave, he has a cuddle, calms down quicker than you and is fussed all day. If he cries when you pick him up: lots of cuddles and he’s fine again. He won’t have any lasting memories or abandonment.

For you I recommend chocolate grin

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat Thu 21-Jun-18 21:03:18

He’ll be fine, I promise with all my heart. I’m a childminder and have had dozens of children come to me, each and every one has been really fine and actually very happy hear. The worst bit is drop off, always, and once you’re gone it’s better.

Yout job to make it easier for him is to dry your eyes, pull on your big girl pants and fake it! Be bright, breezy, cheerful and drop off quickly with a big kiss and a see you later. Cry in the car if you must.

He’s learning all the time from you, the fact that he has a strong bond with you will stand him in good stead to form new attachments (not replace just add) to his carers. He’s also looking to you now for cues as to whether this nursery lark is safe- if you’re nervous and clingy and crying, so will he be. You need to show him he can trust his new carers, that you’ll be back soon and that he’ll have fun.

Good luck.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat Thu 21-Jun-18 21:04:09

Argh typos! Sorry.

jitterbug5 Thu 21-Jun-18 21:05:30

Thank you so much for your replies!

I know he will be fine deep down but I keep convincing myself he's going to think I'm not coming back! Like an 8 month old could even comprehend that!

It also does help that he is only doing one bloody day a week. Part of me wants to tell the other half to just get a grip, but that half is sobbing too much to listen 🙄

I don't know how I'm going to cope during my shift tomorrow sad

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jitterbug5 Thu 21-Jun-18 21:06:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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WinterRose92 Thu 21-Jun-18 21:26:39

It will honestly be okay. Mine was the same age when he started nursery and for the first few weeks I hated dropping him off. He would cry and hold his arms out to me, I would give him a kiss, get in the car and drive away, crying myself. It was hard. But it was lovely, picking him up and seeing him happy to see me and to hear about all the things he was getting up to during the day! After a while I would drop him off and he'd hold his arms out to go to the nursery workers, he was happy to go to them and play with the other children.
He's now one and a half and sometimes has the odd wobble but not often and I know he'll be fine playing and learning. Most days he happily waves me off and shouts, 'Byyyyyyeeeee mama!' which is lovely!
It will be hard at first but it will get better. Ring the nursery during the day if you want to to check up on him, they don't mind, they'll want to put your mind at ease too. Best of luck, it'll be fine xx

moreismore Thu 21-Jun-18 21:27:07

I don’t know if it will be possible at your work but should you have time to drink a cup of tea while it’s still hot, or perhaps wee alone and in peace, you may begin to see that an enforced day of work/nursery is actually a magical thing wink

jitterbug5 Fri 22-Jun-18 06:28:49

Thank you for all your replies! They really have given me comfort! I'm taking him in an hour and I feel soo over the place 😓

Give me strength to get to 2.30!

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Ummmmgogo Fri 22-Jun-18 06:30:53

he'll be fine. you might not be, but you'll have to be brave! if you are wearing mascara make sure it's waterproof xxx

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat Fri 22-Jun-18 16:12:40

How did you get on?

jitterbug5 Fri 22-Jun-18 16:32:17

Of course, he was absolutely bloody fine! grin he didn't cry once, apart from when he didn't want to nap during quiet time apparently! He ate really well as well, so overall I'm really pleased/relieved!

Of course I cried on and off throughout my whole shift blush

Thank you all for your messages and checking in! You, of course, were all correct grin

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GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat Fri 22-Jun-18 16:34:05

Excellent news!

(Told you so grin)

moreismore Fri 22-Jun-18 20:04:13

One of those times I love being right!
(I always love being right)

Have a great weekend gin

WinterRose92 Sat 23-Jun-18 06:32:31

Aww, glad all was well!

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