Been reported to social services for first time minor bruise

[vinnyjackson]

Hi All,

This is my first post here and hope I can get some advice as I feel torn apart. Thanks in advance.

Our DD was reported to social services by our nursery for a first time incident where a bruise was discovered near the lady bits area, our DD who is 17 months has a habit of diving on anything as they do. The nursery reported us where our life was literally turned upside down with my partner being visited unexpectedly by social services, police followed by being escorted to hospital by the police where they had to examine our DD whilst I was at work unable to support her. They concluded there were no concerns. This was upsetting and distressing for all of us. My eldest 9yr old girl was questioned by the police and called her school to see if there was anything untoward which again was awful. My and my partner are devastated not to mention the psychological damage this has had on us both . The fact they safeguard our children is fantastic and happy about the observation but to report us without consulting us begs the question is this normal? We have we have been subjected to something which surely many toddlers go through? Any parents who have been through this, I would be really interested to know your thoughts or experience?

Thank you

[Goldenbug]

They would have followed the guidelines on who to inform. There are complicated flowcharts and saying who needs to be consulted. I'm at the lower end of things but I know who the Safeguarding officers are at my place of work. Why not ask to see their policies?

[Happygummibear]

Did you know the bruise was there? And if so did you tell the nursery?

The nursery my dd is going to has said I should tell them about any bruises or marks so they are aware.

Also check the policy agreement as it should be in there what their safeguarding policy is on reporting things like this

[Namechange128]

The thing is, if there was actually any issue then consulting you before reporting could have made the problem worse. My youngest brother was incredibly accident prone and after his millionth accident in a year I remember us all getting taken to have questions asked at school - I'd been his partner in crime for most of the stupider activities (jumping of the roof onto a mattress etc!) and they asked a lot, it was scary but my mum and dad told us that it just showed us how much we were being protected, it was fine.
This must been very hard for you but sounds like there was ultimately no harm done, and you don't want to pass on this stress to them or teach them distrust of the people who were after all doing all this to ensure they were safe.

[MollyDaydream]

Usually, a child care setting would chat to the parents about a bruise, and would inform you before making a referral.
However it sounds like there was a serious concern here about sexual abuse as the bruise was on her genitals which is why it was so thorough - the nursery will have had advice before making the referral and would have been asked not to inform you.

[vinnyjackson]

Thank you all for your input, the bruise was not made aware until we heard from the nursery which disappeared within 2 days, it was so small but guess this is irrelevant (besides the point) completely understand the safe guarding which I am all for and feel entrusted with this in place however, the concern is we have a recorded incident at something which something we are so upset about to feel and have been subjected to such an ordeal, with the police, social services and my DD being escorted to hospital for a medial check and really suffering with images in our heads we cannot fathom not to mention having nightmares and feel we live in fear of the next accidental, inevitable toddler accident where we have to go through this again. We visited another nursery today who advised this would not be normal protocol unless there was a consistent pattern. I do feel they were following protocol but feel they were soooo overboard.

[anotherangel2]

The nursery did the right thing in reporting it. Everything else that followed was SS not nursery.