Nursery-are you saying there is something wrong with my son?

[Rose138]

Hello,

My son started nursery just before his 2nd Birthday. He did take a while to settle as he had always been looked after by close family members while I work (3 days a week). But he eventually settled and loved going in. He had a good relationship with his key worker. He did however not speak at all at nursery. He did have speech and language input but at home he spoke all of the time. The SENCO at nursery was involved (they suggested he may be a reluctant speaker) strategies were put in place and soon his confidence grew and he spoke at nursery.

In January of this year he moved up to the 3s room. He loves his key worker. He is happy to go in to nursery and happy when I pick him up. Over the past two months however every time I pick him up a member of staff comments "he's so strange with me. He wants to be very close to me but doesn't speak to me. Then other times he won't want to be near me or speak to me". Now this kept being said in front of my son, which I asked her to stop doing as he could hear everything she was saying and I don't think that's right as I didn't want him to feel he was in trouble! Times after this she or his key worker whisper or take me aside and it's always the same comments above. Today I asked if they have asked the SENCO to observe and she seemed to appear happy that I'd mentioned the SENCO. Perhaps she was nervous to bring it up with me. Any way she didn't say what the SENCO had observed and I ended up being a bit snappy and saying "are you saying there's a problem?" As this has been going on for two months and I'm quite drained by it. It's horrible going in to negativity every time I pick him up. Especially as I know there will be many positive things he does and it would be nice to hear about these occasionally! But she just answered "no no he's happy here" Equally though if they think there is something I'm happy for them to say but it's driving me mad the same things being said every time. I personally find the lady quite intimidating but if my son was scared/nervous of her I know he would mention it to me or my husband and he hasn't.

What would you do about this? I have parents evening on Monday and I'm thinking of saying that I feel it's very negative every time I pick him up and I'm not sure what they are getting at. But I don't want to cause a scene/make things awkward! Thank you in advance

[t1mum3]

I would ask for a meeting with the SENCO to discuss his development.

[icklekid]

I think you need to tell them the negativity needs to stop and put the onus onto them to put a plan in place to move forward. They were able to support him in 2 year old room so have the capacity to do so. Ask for a meeting with senco and key worker if she isn't there for this meeting. Hope your ok

[Ididnothearthat]

You could also contact your borough Early years team who should have an Area Senco/Early years advisor who might be able to offer support/make sure nursery doing their job properly etc

[twinnywinny14]

Definitely request a meeting to clarify everything, if there is a problem then you need to know about it without all this confusion x

[MyOtherProfile]

Presumably you will go to parents eve without ds? Definitely express your concerns about the negatives and ask for specifics about their concerns.