Nowehere willing to take on Severe Allergy? Advice?

[TwittleBee]

Hello all,

A while back we were told that DS could no longer stay at Nursery as weaning uncovered a severe fish allergy (requires epi-pen) and the Nursery were not willing to make changes to create a safe environment for him.

We thought this was just a one off occurrence.

Roll on a few months later. DS is happily settled in with a great Childminder but as we are moving and as he is getting more sociable we thought we would put him on a few Nursery waiting lists closer to my work or our new house.

But the 3 nurseries we have looked round have all has the same response of the 1st nursery; they aren't willing to look after a child with a sever allergy.

Some of the reasons have been:

• No one is Epi-pen trained (couldn't they train someone whilst we waited for a place?)
• As children self serve and self feed they cant guarantee fish wont come into contact with him (are they unable to wash children after they have eaten and have DS eating seperate or perhaps just reserve fish for days DS wouldn't attend?)
• Fish is a vital food source for some children at the nursery and they do not want to isolate them by having someone with a fish allergy on site (isn't this isolating my child?)

I did ask how comes they are able to make their nurseries nut-free zones yet not do the same for my DS (especially when currently there was no one with a nut allergy in attendance at the nurseries - I asked!)

Perhaps I am being unreasonable - just in shock at how hard living with an allergy is going to be for DS!

Any advice on how to tackle this situation? Is there a way we can help our preferred nursery become allergy friendly, e.g. pay for the epi-pen training (didn't even realise this was a thing btw, it is very easy to use, was only shown once by a Dr!) or come up with meal alternative plans for them?

[Sirzy]

Are the private nurseries or linked to schools?

I am amazed by the attitude tbh the nursery ds attended had at least one other child with severe allergies that I knew of. Does your HV cover the area you are moving to? If so I would contact them as they may be able to offer some advice on local provision.

[Nannyplumssillyoldelf]

I think that's awful the problems you've faced. They would need to have staff complete epi pen training which will obviously cost money but it sounds to me like they don't want the responsibility and it's just an excuse.

[TwittleBee]

Sirzy they are all private nurseries, there aren't any linked ones that have baby rooms. I relaly am not in contact with my HV anymore, we have had massive closures of the service in our area (and area we are moving to) and so there are only self-weigh clinics now which have 1 HV, never the same one and always very busy giving advice to the younger babies' parents.

Nannyplumssillyoldelf My mum said the same as you actually, they do not want the hassle or the responsibility.

Perhaps I'll have to look into a childminder again. Just like the idea of a nursery as he gets older as will prepare him for school more?

[AgedTawnyPort]

I think you need to find a nursery linked to a school, that is what I did (albeit ten years ago).

We were turned down by private nurseries and childminders alike - a very severe dairy allergy with an epipen. Dairy is in everything.

I remember it being very isolating, I used to prepare a platter of food for DD for every birthday party or cake event at nursery.

She went to the nursery of a private school but they made her sit on a table alone whenever food was involved. When we moved to a state school they accommodated everything in the most inclusive way and we never looked back.

[TwittleBee]

AgedTawnyPort it is only pre-schools that are attached to schools here unfortunately and they are near-impossible to get in. DS is only 11 months so way off until he can go to one and we would still need a childminder for drop off and pick up as we need the extended hours option of a nursery. It is surprising how much stuff actually contains fish, like Worcestershire sauce and some marshmellows! Glad to here once your DD moved to a state school that everything to better for her in terms of isolation!

[chloesmumtoo]

Sorry to hear this TwittleBee, that's awful for you and your ds My dd is peanut allergic but an older teenager now. I remember going through all the pre school and primary stuff many years ago. Fortunately we had a lovely accommodating pre school with a primary school in the same grounds. But remember it being very stressful all the same, not knowing if they would take her and lots of meetings (nut allergy wasn't that known about back then). I hope someone can help you, I am not up with all the red tape of today or nurseries come to that.
Remembering back. I am sure it was the hospital allergy clinic that advised for some staff at dd's primary to be trained up, I presumed it was free? Her pre school were already trained up, if I remember correctly. Several school staff did go all in time for dd starting school. Maybe find out from your hospital allergy clinic if training could be given to private nursery or not? I presume you are still under the allergy clinic as they should write up protocols for the nursery/preschool/primary school I would imagine. I definitely remember they done a protocol for primary and secondary, pretty sure they must have for preschool but I am a little forgetful
You may get some more advise from the allergy section on here too.
It is extremely difficult living with allergy. We still find it difficult but you will find ways to manage.
For the price of the postage you can obtain a free trainer epipen here as long as it is the same type as you sons. It's useful to have to educate people/friends www.epipenshop.co.uk/
And.....Dd's primary school did not make dd sit alone at lunch times but ensured she had space around her and kept a close eye. I think it is absolutely awful nurseries cannot accommodate your ds especially on the fish free meal days, it must be so upsetting for you and wish you all the luck on finding a nursery and that you get some good advise from others in your situation

[chloesmumtoo]

I did ask how comes they are able to make their nurseries nut-free zones yet not do the same for my DS (especially when currently there was no one with a nut allergy in attendance at the nurseries - I asked!)

If they claim they can accommodate for nut allergy, how an earth have they not had any epipen training? And how can they use lack of epipen training as an excuse? I would have thought when caring for children in their profession, with all the different vast allergies today, they would require to be epipen trained.
It has come back to me now, that we were asked via my dd's allergy clinic for the names of the Epipen trained staff to be written on the protocols each time by her paediatrician himself! So maybe this is where the training comes into force. Whether anything has changed over the years in how they deal with these things I don't know. Please call your allergy clinic for advice, or write to them, I did. I wrote to dd's paediatrician when we seemed to have been discharged because dd’s new secondary school requested a protocol.
I know Epipens are easy to do but feel it is a good thing for the staff to have the training. When a proper nurse trains them they may take it more seriously and listen to any extra info given.
The Anaphylaxis campaign is another great source of advice and information which you may find extremely helpful www.anaphylaxis.org.uk/

[Bobojangles]

Do you have an allergy nurse that can intervene? My dad has epipens for egg allergy. I work in a hospital and use he nursery attached to it. We where initially told that the hospital kitchen would not provide food for him, his allergy nurse for on the case and he eats with the other children now. The community nurse organised staff EpiPen training but his allergy nurse was our point of contact when they where being difficult.

Is it actually legal to refuse him? I'd definitely speak to his nurse

[Bobojangles]

Ds not dad! That's autocorrect

[newcupcake]

A slightly different viewpoint here - can you imagine if every school and nursery banned the foods every child was allergic to there would be nothing left ! Allergy's are very common these days it's making things for early years settings much harder.

[LittleCandle]

I have no help to offer, but I couldn't get DD1 into even a council nursery 20+ years ago because of her multiple allergies. When she went into school, the council then tried to get her excluded because they didn't want to go to the bother of putting an action plan in place for her. Luckily, the school were more than willing to do the training (its not like its difficult or particularly time consuming) and the school doctor also gave me great support. Unfortunately, private nurseries don't have to accept anyone they don't want. A lot of people don't understand allergies and don't want to learn, either. I hope you are able to sort something out.

[Thingvellir]

DD is an epi pen carrier and her private nursery had everyone trained to manage anaphylaxis before she started. - I don't think staff not being epi pen trained is a valid excuse.

DD's allergy is sesame seeds though which is a bit of a bastard to manage for baked products but not impossible and as long as you buy bread that doesn't contain sesame, the rest of the nursery can still have bread. I can understand that a nursery can't take all fish off the menu entirely, it's a core food group.

I'd keep looking if I were you, one of the nurseries may be able to manage it, but it is a challenging one

[TwittleBee]

Thank you all.

Just to clarify, I wasn't asking them to remove it totally from the menu and tbh I would have been fine with it there even on days he attends. I just found it strange how they had a zero nut policy when there was no one there with a nut allergy. As a PP said, seems strange their trying to accommodate a nut allergy when they aren't even epipen trained.

We do have an Allergy Action Plan from his consultant etc. But I suppose, as some of you have said, if they don't want to take on an allergy baby they don't have to.

Hmph. Guess I'll have to try and find another child minder xx

[chelsbells]

I've worked in large chain nurseries and all have accepted children with a range of allergies with no issues. The child has a care plan outlining their allergies/symptoms/triggers, medication must be kept on sight and in the case of Epi-pens, all senior staff are trained. And where meal times are concerned, there are colour coded plates outlining allergies/preferences and food is prepared separately and signed to say that it doesn't contain any of the allergens.

I'd try and visit a chain nursery rather than small private ones and you may have more luck.

[sentenceinterrupted]

Try the nurseries where you send I your own food rather than prepared on site, we had luck with a small Montessori, followed by longer days with a school that had a nursery attached.

Contact your epipen maker (google their website) and you'll probably be able to have training pens sent out for free. I got one to teach everyone myself, plus a spare for the school. Magically, when I asked the head teacher for a time to teach all everyone how to use it, at the start of the school year, they managed to find a nurse and time to do it officially

[TwittleBee]

chelsbells the first nursery was a large nursery chain and another one we tried is also a chain too! The first claims to be allergy ready and says it's an all inclusive nursery yet they chucked DS out. Thank you though xx

sentenceinterrupted they would still need to have the training though and ability to ensure no other child touches him. I'll look on the website though. We do already have a few of the practice pens and leaflets etc. Thanks xx

[TrippingTheVelvet]

I'm astounded these places aren't duty bound under equality legislation to make accommodations!

[JeanMichelBisquiat]

I think it's been argued that some severe allergies can constitute a disability, and therefore failure to make a reasonable adjustment in providing the service could be deemed discrimination.

Give Allergy UK a shout and see if they can advise on this.... Poor little thing shouldn't be excluded because of it (and it's a weird approach, because it's not exactly rare nowadays!).

[JeanMichelBisquiat]

Ps you're not being remotely unreasonable - my DC attended different nursery settings which bent over backwards to accommodate their allergies and health needs. Get cross rather than apologetic, get informed, and get advocating. And hugs to you - it's lonely-making when you encounter this approach x

[TwittleBee]

TrippingTheVelvet yeah I know, that was exactly my thoughts!

JeanMichelBisquiat thank you, I shall have to for DS. Just unfortunately for him I have rather awful social anxiety that prevents me from confrontational. Interesting what you say about discrimination, I'll have a look into it today

[JeanMichelBisquiat]

Oh, I know - it's that horrible feeling of "making a fuss". But I'm here to tell you that what you're wanting is deeply reasonable and perfectly adjustable to

[ForkIt]

Wow. My ds has multiple allergies (fish, soy, dairy) and nursery were great. It was a Busy bees chain.

The epi pen training is free to settings, your hospital or H.V. should be able to arrange training (though I had one crap nursery I must admit who were very stroppy about epilepsy training for my daughter as it had to be after hours/ during their staff meeting time).

My nursery had an easy protocol, they simply had a red cup, plate, cutlery, chopping board etc for my son to avoid mix ups. The adult feeding him/ his group wore another colour apron to show responsibility and there were photos of him of the wall. Never had one issue with this set up, and he sat at the end of a table with others eating what he was allergic to. It was quite easily managed with an ikea trip and a bit of common sense!

[Monny1]

That is disgraceful behaviour. As someone previously said,l am sure that they are discriminating towards your child. The staff in these settings should be first aid trained and should know how to use epi pens. It’s 2018 and anyone in childcare should know about allergies and how to deal with them and if not, find out about it. I really hope that you find a Nursery to take your child.

[TwittleBee]

ForkIt there is a Busy Bees kinda close to where we are moving actually, maybe I will have to take a look there! Thank you. (btw our 1st nursery did have that set up in place, we were shown it when we looked round, this is before we knew DS had an allergy, but then when it came down to it they freaked out and refused to let him stay!)

Monny1 thank you, massive surprise to us.

[jannier]

Why cant a childmidner socialise a child? often they have several children themselves and should also offer outing to regular groups and meet up with other children....mine regularly meet with 10 children around their ages and a further 15 of other ages. They learn sharing turn taking asking for help from others by me networking with other child-minders and are well prepared for entering school in reception - on many occasions parent chose to not to use a school nursery or have removed the children as they went backwards and became less independent. All the children are confident and can speak up or sing in groups of up to 10 adults and 30 children by the time they are 3 as I run and attend groups that encourage this.
Parents are being sold the must put your child into childcare option and it is undermining their own abilities to raise and educate their children a child does not need any childcare they need parents that go out to groups and activities, that encourage independence and that do messy and creative play and if parents do have to go to work it is the quality of the care of the type of setting that helps them grow and develop.