Any nursery teachers that can help with toilet training issues?

[pinkcarpet]

DD is 3.5 and has been attending the local state preschool since August. She does 2 days a week there (20 hrs) and 1 day a week at a private nursery which she's attended since I went back to work when she was 13mo. She started toilet training in May and has done really well at home and at the private nursery and now rarely has accidents in either except if she's really tired or really immersed in play.

However at the preschool she has an accident almost every day she attends and sometimes 2 accidents in one day. I've asked the staff but they only ever say she leaves it too late to go. I've asked her and she says she doesn't get help or there's no one to help her when she asks.

I don't know much about the pre school and never meet her key worker as she only works part time so isn't there at drop off or pick up. Can anyone offer any advice to help DD? What kind of things should I be asking about to see if she can get some extra help?

[insancerre]

The staff ratio may be higher in the preschool at 1-13 instead of 1-8 in the nursery
Can they just not go to the toilet when they need to? Do they have to ask?
Can she manage her clothing herself?
At her age I wouldn't be expecting to help her go to the toilet unless it was to physically escort her, say from outside or another room
Also, does she recognise when she needs to go, or does she rely on an adult to suggest it to her?

[mindutopia]

What is the toilet set up like there? Mine was in a private nursery, but definitely by 3 she was taking herself and doing everything herself, flushing, washing hands, etc. The only thing she still needed help with was wiping her bum if she pooed as she couldn't reach it. The toilets were readily accessible just outside the main room, were low children's toilets, everything children sized and easy to reach, so there was nothing she needed help with. But they did remind them to go before they went outside to play and they always had a potty outside if necessary (garden was a bit of a walk from the front door and obviously they had littler ones too who were still toilet training).

I'm wondering if it's possible that the toilets aren't easy for her to get to, a long hallway away, or they are adult sized and she struggles to get up on then when she really has to go. It's also possible they don't as a practice make them go at certain times of the day (like everyone queues up to go before they put on waterproofs and go outside). So then she gets outside, in waterproofs, in the cold and realises she needs to go and can't make it back in. I would imagine most places would remind them to go before major shifts in activities though, especially when they're going somewhere they won't be able to access the toilet easily.

[pinkcarpet]

Thanks for the replies. I haven't actually seen the set up of the toilets. They are in a side room attached to the main space but I'm not sure whether the children can open the door independently or not.

At home DD can do everything herself and is pretty good at noticing when she needs to go. She takes great joy in announcing it to all and sundry!!

At the private nursery they tend to take a bunch of kids at the same time e.g. One of the staff will say "Sarah is going to the toilet who else is coming" which is a good reminder. I don't know what they do at the preschool. Sounds like I might have to set up a meeting to find out what they do as DDs key worker is never there when I do drop off or pick up

[Looneytune253]

I can’t imagine there’s reminders in the Pre school and that can make a big difference. Will your dd say yes if asked if she needs the toilet? If so then just ask the teachers to remind her every so often. If she needs more support than that it may be hard for them and that could be why she’s having accidents. If this is the case maybe work on independence at home and she can pull down own tights etc and wash own hands without an adult?

[pinkcarpet]

She can already pull down her clothes and wash her hands unaided at home. She usually sends me away and tells me she doesn't need me so.its difficult for me to know why she's having problems at pre school. When I picked.her up today she'd had another accident (that's the 5th time in 5 days there) but the staff at pickup didn't even mention it, I just found the wet bag of clothes in the bottom of her bag when i got home. I'm not sure what happened but I'm getting pretty fed up of it!

[jannier]

At school nursery they are not taken to toilet it is self use as are drinks putting on coats and shoes. The job of all settings is to prepare children for full time school unfortunately as many private nurseries are geared up for younger children many do not help support independence in the same way as the majority of their children are younger - is this the case in yours? Its very unusual to take children in a group apart from lunch times to wash hands etc. \maybe your Lo is not understanding that she needs to take herself as in her experience of nursery the staff have taken her ( it sounds like this for them to even comment x is going who else needs to go)
Schools generally only give help if asked and most children should be totally independent by then even in bottom wiping.